IS YOUR BABE HAVING A MALE BFF?
We all know how important friends are. Some we hang out with, some we shop with and some we head to the gym with and do other things with. But despite having a pal for every occasion, having a best friend you can do everything with, and share almost everything with could be a huge bonus in life. We all have best friends for different reasons, ranging from connectedness, to comfort, self-esteem boost, honest opinions, and even unconditional support. But where do we draw the line, how do we not allow having a best friend become a big issue or bring ambiguity in our romantic relationships especially when this best friend is a guy.
Most guys I know don’t have female best friend, but same can’t be said of ladies. I often hear most ladies say that they feel more comfortable having a male friend than a female one. And sometimes, this friendship with the guy could develop into a BFF situation. By the way I tried to check up the meaning of BFF and I found out it is an informal acronym that refers to a person’s best friend, and typically a girl’s best friend. And so, like the topic suggests, I’m going to be talking to guys whose babes are having a dude as BFF.
A girl told me how her having a male BFF got in the way of her last relationship. She trusted her BFF too much, maybe because they have always shared everything (except sex of course) and the girl felt that over the years, her BFF has been the one she could tell things she wouldn’t dream of telling anyone else not even her boyfriend. And because, a loyal BFF is constant, while relationships come and go, she was tempted to put her BFF before her partner, and that caused a serious crack in her relationship. I told her she might have been wrong in putting her BFF before her boyfriend, but mainly, her relationship suffered because the boyfriend didn’t see a BFF; rather he saw a competitor and a threat to his relationship. And in his mind, if a man and a woman appear to be best friends, it’s necessarily because one of them secretly wants to see the other naked.
So what do you do as a guy if you meet a girl, start dating her, and find out that her best friend is a guy, and they are committed to each other? Her commitment to her friend might make you jealous, but if you get too possessive too fast, you’re bound to lose her. The trick is to assess whether or not her best friend poses a threat to your relationship, and then deal with the situation accordingly. That is if you truly want to be with her.
DON’T EXPRESS JEALOUSY
Do not express jealousy, especially if you two are just starting to date. It is most likely that your girl has dumped some previous boyfriend because he couldn’t handle the fact that her best friend is a man. So, don’t go in too hard by issuing ultimatum early on in the relationship; if you do that, trust me you will lose out. Being jealousy also makes you look insecure, especially if it’s unfounded. So, if you have to act because of her BFF, make sure you have some more information
MEET HER BEST FRIEND
If your new girlfriend has a male BFF, tell her you want to meet him. It’s the only way you’ll be able to accurately assess their relationship. Does he stare at her longingly? Does she flirt with him? Remember to still keep your jealousy in check, they are friends and she’s naturally going to be comfortable hugging him and speaking confidentially to him. Your main objective here is to assess the situation.
BE NICE TO HER BEST FRIEND
If you would make an effort to be nice to her female friends, why not try same thing with her male friend? You can never tell if she would want to judge you based on how you treat her friends, so make a real effort every time he’s around. I have a female friend, and we are so close. When she started dating her current fiancé, the dude will come around my place with her and we would all gist unending. Gradually, he was cool with me and I was with him, and till this day, we remain good friends. So, try and be nice. And if you’re consistently nice to him, and he’s consistently a dick to you, you’ll be the nice guy who’s making an effort, and he’ll be the jerk.
FIND OUT THEIR HISTORY
If you are continuously having a doubt about whether they are just friends or not, then you might need to find out more about their history. You can casually ask whether she and her best friend were ever more than just friends, but keep the tone light and playful. Try and find out as much about his romantic history as possible too, if he never seems to be with his own girl, there might be something to suspect.
PHASE HIM OUT
Your girlfriend might be close her male BFF because he is her “go-to guy” and if you are not careful, this might cause problems for your relationship, as there will always be another man who she will unburden her emotional issues to. So, you need to gradually become her “go-to guy,” you need to become the first person she thinks to call whenever she has good or bad news. So find a way of phasing him out gradually by becoming closer and closer to your girl. And if that does not work very fast, just find a way to find him a girlfriend. Suggest to your girl that the two of you start setting him up with single girls you know, especially those girls that are very possessive. Do anything subtle to hook him up big time, go on double-dates to facilitate the process, just make it a project with your girlfriend to find her male BFF a girlfriend of his own. And you might just have eliminated the threat completely. Stay Safe.