Guys, do you know how cool it would be to see your ex girlfriend years after y’all have dated and have a smirk forming on your face simply because you know deep down that you are the best she has ever had in and out of the bedroom?
Do you know what that does to your ego? How it adds extra stars to your super dating powers? How it gives you yet another trophy for being the best boyfriend ever walketh?
Just in case you have never felt that way and you would not mind feeling that way, here are ways to be that guy.
BE A GOOD KISSER
*cue in Usher’s Good Kisser*
Do it so well and let her know, don’t nobody kiss it like you bang bang bang!
Give her orgasms from kissing if possible. Own those lips forever that even when she’s gone and she’s officially kissing another brother, your name is what pops up in her mind while she’s kissing him. Yeah, dat kain tin.
GIVE HER SEXUAL HEALING
*cue in Marvin Gaye’s Sexual Healing*
Touch that body like it has never been touched, leave your name on the lips like you want to leave your name on the sands of time. Own that P forever and give her a permanent soundtrack. Let your face be what pops up in your mind whenever she hears the word “Daddy (cos you her daddy), ” give her the good loving that can never be rivaled. Let’s see if she won’t be thanking the supernatural beings for your D and doing the anniversary of your break up years after y’all are over.
BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN ALL YOUR FOREFATHERS (AND EVERY OTHER PERSON’S FOREFATHER)
*cue in Neyo’s One in a million*
Let her feel like a million bucks when she is with you. Love her, respect her and let other women envy her. Surprise her with gifts, love her like she has never been loved and always be there for her.
Do things that will make her want to stick with you forever and let her know if you have your way, you will never let her go.
HAND HER YOUR MUMU BUTTON
*Cue in all of Drake’s music*
Hand her your mumu button, let her know she has the whole of you and you would move mountains for her, all she has to do is ask for it. Let’s see if her next can beat this.
LET HER KNOW ITS EITHER HER OR NOBODY ELSE
*cue in Timi Dakolo’s Iyawo Mi*
Show her your future, with the bright lights and the colours that make the rainbow seem dim. Then plant her in it and let her know it is her or nobody else. Build your world around her and let her know she owns it and you would not share all those things with anybody else.
HELP HER FIND HER
I still remember my recent ex who believed so much in me he helped me see how big I could become and how much he was ready to push me to achieve my dreams. He would buy books, tell me it would be fine when he seemed like I would never realize my dreams and help me through the hardest days.
We’ve been exes for two years now but I still remember him. I have breakthroughs in my career now and I know deep down that if we were on speaking terms, he would be the first person I would call to share the news with.
When you help a woman find her, hold her hands through the hardest times and be the man who believes in her dreams, I don’t see her forgetting you.
These things should be what you should do for every woman you care deeply about, not because you want them to move on and always want to run back to you, but because it is the right thing to do. But hey, who says you can’t do a little for the ego too sometimes?