Chris Bamidele’s Corner: Wedding Blues… Episode 3 by @Degreatest2

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wedding blues



Dayo smiles as he drops the call. The last thing Bola said on the phone was “I have a befitting surprise for you, expect a text message from me in five minutes” he smiles because he knows the kind of woman Bola is and could be. She showed and taught him everything he never knew or experienced about sex since he became an adult. Sex with Bisi was always boring even before she suggested they both go on sex break for religious purposes 3 months ago, but he never complained and he never cheated on her, he had always been a one-woman man even while he was in school.

But in 3 months of having sex with Bola, she had shown him more than what he could handle, he now know different sex styles and their names. She’s made sex the most interesting thing on earth for him and he simply can’t stop himself. She taught him Spooning, Hip flex-er, Missionary 45-degrees, Supported doggy-style, Camal Crisscross, V is for Vixen and other exciting sexual positions which totally blew his mind. His phone beeps “Are you ready for your surprise?” it’s a text message from Bola; they never communicated via BBM or any phone chat app that might leave a trace. They both decided it’s better to restrict every form of communication to phone calls and text messages so they can delete the records without leaving any trace behind.

“I was born ready” he smiles as he types and hits the send button. He keeps looking at the phone, smiling as Bola sends another message

“Are you dressed yet?” he takes a look at his shawl lapel tux, and a crisp white shirt lying on the bed, he checks his wristwatch and types a message

“Not yet, thought you had a surprise for me, tux and all would get in the way” he sends again and waits for her to reply

“How long be4 u leave for church?”

“I have 45 minutes before Tega gets here, we leave for church together” he hits the send button and types another message

“Sure this surprise is gon’ worth it, but we gotta be fast. Don’t want Tega meeting you in my room” he hits the send button again. The only thought in his head is Bola’s naked body on his bed doing unimaginable things to him few hours before getting married to her sister. He paces around, his phone beeps again.

“Who says anything about ur room? To d car park at the back, Oh ye groom-in-waiting. In a blue tinted Sienna, engine running. Hurry… *winks*”

As Dayo descends the staircase leading to the car park situated at the back of the hotel, he is confused for a moment, “What is Bola doing at the car park? Is there something she needs to carry from the car into the room and she can’t carry it alone?” “No, there can’t be” he tells himself. She must be planning something very naughty inside that car, even though she knew he never liked two of them being in a car together except if Bisi was in the car because he doesn’t want anyone to raise any suspicion as that might spell trouble. And to avoid the trouble that could arise from suspicion is the reason he got a permanent suite in a small but cozy hotel that is well tucked away somewhere in a lonely street on Victoria Island.

He approaches the only Blue Toyota Sienna that has its engine running in the car park. He leans forward, peers through the tinted window but he can’t see much – he closes his eyes and opens the car door gently.

“Oh My…!” Dayo exclaims “You’re wearing a cheerleader costume, you are going to a basketball game or something?” he asks amidst laughter and surprise.

“Oh yes baby, I am your cheerleader today, I will be cheering you on as you sentence yourself to a life of boredom with my boring sister…” she whispers into his ear as she pushes the automatic lock switch before taking his left hand and guiding it under her short lacy skirt as she throws her head back on the leather seat. “Baby, feel me. I am all wet for you….” She moans

Dayo reaches across his body, cupping her boobs with his free hand; she touches his face, her perfectly-manicured nails on his skin sending shivers down his spine, just like all the times. Bola raises up his tee-shirt and slowly starts to feel his body, she is playing with his nipples. Their lips come together and move in time with each other as they kiss; he moves his hand up to her ponytail’s hair tangling his fingers in it. She moves from his lips to his neck as she flips the lever beside his seat, making the seat to recline and Dayo lying on his back. She sits up and unbuckles his belt with one hand using the other to run her fingers over his stomach. She moves across, striding him…

“I – Love – You” Dayo pants through Bola’s slow circular movement on him. She moans and smiles…



“Hey bae, you are getting set for church right?

“Tega, you are a criminal shey you know; I am going to be someone’s wife in few hours. And not just someone, your best friend and you are calling me bae” Bisi says over the phone

Tega chuckles “I know I’m a criminal but you should at least let me commit the crime one more time before you slip out of my hand”

“Hmm… it is my wedding day, this night I am going to have sex with my husband alone. We’ll be staying at the Wheatbaker Hotel for 2 days before travelling for our honeymoon. So I’ll find time to see you somehow within those 2 days, even if you have to come to the hotel”

“Hmm… I’m looking forward to it” he punches the air in excitement

Ole like you, I know you are happy. By the way, are you not with your friend? Bisi asks

“No yet, I should be with him in about 10 minutes, but he is driving himself though, he insisted on driving a new Chrysler Sebring convertibles he just bought to the church because that’s the car your man wants to drive to the reception – with you by his side of course. That’s why he bought it”

“Hmm… Lovely, Dayo sure knows how to impress me”

“Of course he does. But you know you don’t love him, I’m the one you should be with. You know?”

“Tega, you have started. You and I getting married can only remain a wish or at best a fantasy, and let’s keep it so”

“Have some little faith, you can never tell if…”

“Talk to you later, the video recording guys are here. Bye and be a good boy” she cuts him short and ends the call.

“Wait… hello” Tega checks the phone, he realizes Bisi has dropped. He dials another number, it gets picked immediately

“Dude, how far? Everything is set for the reception? Don’t mess up abeg!” he listens for a few seconds as he nods his head, and soon drops the call



Dayo’s black tux was exquisitely cut and a perfect match for his suave manners. He radiates an air of quiet confidence; the single breasted shawl lapel Yves Saint Laurent suit was tailored to precisely match the contours of his body, and all eyes stray to him as he stands to his feet alongside his best-man to welcome his bride into the spacious auditorium of the Catholic Church of the Assumption, Falomo, Ikoyi. Bisi walks forward with her train behind her, her left arm resting lovingly on her uncle’s right arm as he leads her in place of her dead father. Her face expressionless beneath the transparent veil as she approaches the altar, she looks at the two men standing in-front of the altar, she loves one, she is marrying another… she needs some strength to go on with today – just today…


The weather is perfect as the newlyweds step into the Chrysler Sebring convertibles. The journey from Falomo roundabout to Golden Gate Restaurant on Glover road is about 3 minutes.

“Baby, I love this car, it is cute and sexy at the same time”

“I am happy you love it, anything for you my baby; anything to make you happy.” Dayo responds to her

“Baby, I’m happy, you make me happy all the time. Just that right now, I’m so tired, this photography thing after the whole church programme has drained me” Bisi says as she runs her fingers gingerly across Dayo’s outstretched arm on the steering wheels.

“Sweetheart I know, but we still have the reception ahead of us you know” Dayo says, without taking his eyes off the road

“Anyway, I will manage but I need to reserve a large chunk of my energy for my baby tonight, I can’t wait baby, I need you inside of me to fill me up tonight, it’s been 3 months” she coos romantically

“That’s true love, the 3 months actually seem like 3 years, but tonight is the night, I have missed you badly” he says as he leans over to kiss her, she stops him…

“Hey careful Mister, the cars in front of us are slowing down, I think the traffic is building up”

“Oh! I think it’s a police checkpoint, you know because of all these bomb threats everywhere in the country, the police have doubled their effort in checking human and vehicular movements especially in some high priority target area like this environment.

“Oh ok, I can see some police in front, checking cars and swiping something under the cars and around them. What are those things?”

“Oh that should be Under Vehicle Inspection mirrors and possibly a bomb detector. Nowhere is really safe these days”

“Oh ok” she replies flatly, the traffic moves slowly. She brings out her phone from her purse and makes a call.

“Why would this girl switch off her phone?”

“Which girl?” Dayo asks her

“Bola now, I just want to know if everything is set inside that hall, I have been trying to call her since we stepped out of the church, and her phone has been switched off since then”

“Oh! Maybe she is so busy and she left her phone somewhere or something like that, making a hall ready for a wedding reception is a serious work you know”

“True, anyway I trust her to do a good job, that’s why she didn’t come to church so she can have enough time to make supervise those people in there” she said as they approach the police at the check point.

“Well-done officer” Dayo greets and waves at the policemen in uniform as he makes to drive through.

“Happy Married Life sir, where is our own cake?” the officer holding the bomb detector smiles as he acknowledges them. He motions for them to move on. But the other policeman with the Under-vehicle mirror stops him.

“Oga, please open your booth” he yells

“Officer, I am just coming from my wedding and I’m heading to the reception just at this junction here. What could I have in my booth?”

“Just open it, I need to be sure” he snaps. Dayo lifts the lever without looking at the policeman and the booth flips open.

“Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssusssssss Christ. Oga come down, come down, come down!” The policeman beckons him rudely. Within seconds, Dayo hears passersby and occupants of other cars shouting ‘Jesus, Jesus’ the policemen regroups into a formation as if someone is commanding them, all of them cocking their guns and pointing them to the two of them. Dayo and Bisi raise their hands above their heads. They look confused, what could be in their car booth? What could all these policemen be acting up for?

“Chae! Chae! So, this is what you people do, you kill people for rituals and wear wedding suit to pretend that you are coming from your own wedding so you can pass freely at police checkpoints. God don catch una today” one of the passersby who has his hand on his head exclaimed. Dayo moves towards the policemen, who by now have surround him and his wife, peeps into his car booth. “WHAT!!! Bola! How?” Bisi moves swiftly towards the back of the car “Ehn! Bola! Yeee! Yeee! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Bisi screams as she faints, her body hitting the side of the car before collapsing on the asphalt.

“Oga, you are under arrest for the murder of this woman in your car booth. The woman you and your wife have just identified as Bola”

Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.

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