10 Insane Things People Have Done to Lose Weight: Don’t Try Number 5!

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Not everyone these days is satisfied with their body weight. Not everyone can stay fit and slim. We all know it’s not so easy to get to that body size we always envy. It requires exercise, a healthy diet and dedication. And even after all that, you could still relapse back to your former size. All sorts of exercise routines, drugs, weight loss programs and even herbal treatments have been employed to get people to lose all their extra fat. Some of them have worked, some haven’t.

As for me, I am a firm believer in exercising. It has worked for me even though I am mostly lazy.

But not everyone is like me who sees results in a few days of working out. Some people exercise rigorously and instead of losing weight, they add more. Some are not just patient with the process while others want instant results.

Listed below are the craziest methods people have employed to lose their body fat.

  1. Jaw Wiring

 

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        Jaw wiring is an oral mechanical device fixed to keep the jaw in place and to prevent the consumption of solid food. Originally, Jaw wiring was not for weight loss; it was particularly to heal fractures but it is popular today for its success in stopping people who can’t control their eating habits. It permits some jaw movement and clear speech but discourages the eating of solid food.

Does it Work?

They say it does. However, I knew a girl in school who did it and still found a way to push Goody-goody bars between her teeth. Other times she melted chocolate and drank it.

2.  Smoking Cigarettes

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A lot of models and professional Ballet dancers use this method to lose weight. And this is how it works: Smoking causes the taste buds to be less effective. This makes food lose its taste. Nicotine on its own, is an appetite suppressant. Hence, as one smokes more cigarettes, one eats less. 

Does it Work?

Yes, it does but the Ministry of Health warns smokers are liable to die young.

3. The Plastic Tongue Patch

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This was created by Dr. Nikolas Chugay, a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. It is yet to be approved but this is how it works: a patch is sewn on the tongue with six stitches and it is done in about 10 minutes. The patch then makes it extremely painful and even difficult to eat solid food. One is required to go on a liquid-only diet that supplies about 800 calories a day. 

“As you’re swallowing, say, a cheeseburger or something, that tongue is pushing things up against the roof of the mouth and back into the throat,” explained Chugay. “And so while it’s doing that, it’s going to basically be uncomfortable if you have that on top of the sutures, which are basically fishing line. So now you have two little sharp points on the tongue, rubbing up against the top of the mouth, and it’s going to be uncomfortable.”

Does it Work?

Yes, it does but when the patch goes off and you can eat again, what do you think will happen? By the way, it costs about $2,000.

4. Tube FeedingDownloads8

Originally meant to nourish people who cannot eat due to illness or injury, this method is now employed for weight loss, especially for brides to be. A feeding tube is inserted through their nose and it goes all the way down the esophagus into the stomach. And it will stay there 24 hours a day, for 10 days, and eating is avoided. A rich-in-protein, low carb formula is fed through the tube, sending in roughly 800 daily calories.

Does it Work?

Yes, it does but the tube will one day go off and like the tongue patch, the person will be back to square one. Makes no sense. And oh, yes, it is expensive too, about $1,500.

 

5. Tapeworms 

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The idea is to swallow a tapeworm that goes into your body and absorbs food and nutrients and thereby causes weight loss. One tapeworm might not be enough to make a difference initially but the patient is told not to worry as tapeworms can grow up to 30 feet long and since they have both male and female reproductive organs, the carrier can spread the eggs in their bathroom and may have them pass back into their system again.

Does it Work?

Like, hell yeah! It works so well, it can kill. It can cause seizures, digestive blockages, organ function disruption, brain and nervous system damage.

 

6. The Chewing Diet

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This doesn’t sound so bad at first until you get to the end part. Here’s how it goes: You put a considerable amount of food in your mouth and you chew it 32 times, which will last about 30 seconds. Then you tilt your head backwards and let the food trickle down your throat. Anyone that is left in your mouth has to be spat out.

Does it Work?

Yes, it does. Created and popularized by Horace Fletcher in the Edwardian era, he lost 40 pounds (18 kilos) in just four months. He believed that chewing allowed food to be properly absorbed into the body. Insufficient chewing would lead to constipation and clog up the digestive tract. But I bet he never thought about how disgusting it was. Yuck!
7. The Sleeping Beauty Diet

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No long talk here. The person that is sleeping cannot eat. That is the whole idea. While you sleep you don’t consume kilojoules, forcing your body to burn up kilojoules already stored. This was popularized by Elvis Presley. People who use the method take sleeping pills and would be off for days. 

Does it Work?

So they say but I was also told that “a little sleep, a little slumber and poverty creeps up like an armed bandit”. I’d rather be fat and rich than slim and broke.

 

8. Breatharian Diet 

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These group of people believe they don’t need food to survive. They claim that only fresh air and sunlight are required to survive. It is a spiritual exercise carried by a branch of Hinduism. They say it is not a weight loss program but people have used to to lose weight.

Does it Work?

Yes! Right before the person dies! It has been linked to numerous deaths of devotees who died of dehydration and hypothermia.

 

9. The Vision Diet

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The idea is that if food looks less appealing, you might not want to consume it. So, some very ‘smart’ Japanese people came up with diet sunglasses that have blue lenses. They say it makes food look unappetising and hence it reduces your appetite. The lenses are said to block red light which they claim can stimulate the appetite.

Does it Work?

I don’t know. All I know is that it is very simple to take off those glasses, put them aside and eat that food in front of you.

 

10. The Last Chance Diet

lat-chance-dietFrom the name you’ll know something is really off here. I’ll call it Once Chance Diet. It was created by Dr Roger Linn in the 1970s. The One Last Chance Diet is basically about starvation where nothing but Dr One Chance’s special liquid protein Prolinn is taken. Now, here’s the yucky part. The liquid protein is made up of slaughter-house leftover by-products like crushed animal horns, hooves, hides, tendons and bones. Other stuff like enzymes, colorants and artificial flavors are included.

Does it Work?

It was reported that between two and four million people tried the diet but 58 of them died from heart attacks.

 

PLEASE, DON’T TRY ANY OF THE ABOVE AT HOME, IN SCHOOL OR ANYWHERE ELSE. GO AND EXERCISE AND WATCH WHAT YOU EAT!

Sally

Sally

Sally is the author of the Fish Brain series and Boys With Toys. She has written other online series like The Immortals’ Code, No heart Feelings, Novocaine Knights, To Tame a Virgin and In Pursuit of Kyenpia. She lives in Lagos with her husband and kids and loves the occasional bar lounging with friends. She blogs on www.moskedapages.com or you can follow her on Twitter @NovocainKnights

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