Why Do Single Ladies Love Committed and Married Men?

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I am sure there must be something about a married man, or a guy who has got a committed relationship for that matter, because ladies seem to prefer these guys to the ones who are single and not committed at all. One would think maybe such women who knowingly court married men are greedy, or maybe it’s the fact that the men are unavailable that make them so appealing, or just that women love to just be in competition over men. Or is it because a man who is already taken is more experienced? Is he seen as able to commit more? Is he more desirable because another woman has pre-screened him? Is it that the food on someone else’s plate always looks tastier? Or maybe if someone else wants him or has him already, he must be worth wanting. But whatever the reason or the answer may be, married men especially seem more attractive for single women to date – in my experience.

Maybe, I need to get into a woman’s head or better still talk to single women who like to date married men and guys who are committed in another relationship. But I find it amusing and confusing at the same time especially when these ladies are still hoping to get married to some single and hardworking guy somewhere out there, but constantly claim that dating a married man is better.

In the past one year, I had reasons to go out sometimes with my colleagues, most of whom are married, and I discovered that most single girls we came across would rather love to be with the married ones amongst us, and the scenario is always odd to me. Or how would one rationalize an available woman that has got a thing for unavailable men, which makes her totally unavailable to a single and available man? But I think most of the time, single women who go for married men either consciously or subconsciously like the idea of being in pseudo relationships—relationships that don’t have any potential of requiring them to make any real commitments to the men in return. But why do they do this? Why would any woman want to pick a guy who’s already been taken, when there are a million single guys around? Well, I tried to think up a few reasons which might be true or not depending on who is looking at the reasons, but hey! I am just a guy.

Now first reason is that some women who go for married guys actually didn’t know the guys were married when they first met them. In cases like this, the women are usually lied to or somehow tricked by these men into thinking that they’re single, when in the real sense, their families are either abroad or living in another city. Any woman in this kind of relationship could be pardoned or overlooked, because it’s not really her fault. But sometimes, even when this woman finds out the man had been lying to her all along, she still continues with the relationship, telling herself she has fallen in love with the man and can’t easily undo her love for him.

Another reason I see is because such women are of questionable ethics and moral standards who don’t want a committed relationship anyway, these women just want a man sometimes, and not all the time. They usually just want a man for some kind of self-gratification, and they date married men for money and other sweet things they can offer, they date married men to take materials things and give sexual pleasure in return, they are in it for convenience.

Some women also go for married guys because they’re women who have such a low opinion of men, they think men are all the same; to these women, there’s no difference between a married man and a single one. So because they don’t really have any positive expectations for any long term relationships with men, and because they no longer entertain any hope of ever having a man all to themselves, they don’t really see any reason not to date a married man or knowingly share him with someone who probably has more of his attention.

Lastly, some single women go for married guys because they are just on power trip; they are predators who hunt for the fun and challenge of it. They know they are explosively attractive and just want to see how far their explosive booty can take them, so they specialize in seducing and dating successful, rich and older married men, and eventually steal them from their wives, either by making them leave the first wife, or simply make them an addition in the long run. I bet there are so many of these women in our society these days, to them, older married men are the ultimate prize; they date them, love them, and possibly marry them. But on the real, for them, it is just a power trip.

So, are you a single woman dating a married guy? Or you simply do not agree with my conclusions above. Let me know through the comment box. Stay Safe.

Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on www.degreatest2.wordpress.com and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.


  1. Hnmmm, where do I start from? Is it from the perspective of a man or the woman? But however you are right! But have you think about the men too? If all men are responsible maybe we wouldn’t be having this discussion (lol) but haven’t said , ladies of now a days want comfort some due to their experience with single guys, but every one most have a reason but hey my husband is “untouchable” for any of them lol (nice one)

  2. Y’all ladies, did you hear that? Mrs Tville husband’s is untouchable! ok na! Thanks for reading. there is really nothing we can do about this matter. we just have to manage it as it is. single girls will forever date married men. right or wrong is another argument.

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