Tips to Getting a Friend with Benefits

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Before we go on, this post is strictly for guys who are currently not in any relationship and would want to have lots of fun without being too reckless. So, if you have a girlfriend or a wife, quickly close this page and read my other posts, because I don’t want your wife/girlfriend to have issues with me – Yes, with me.

Now back to the post. All of us know or have an idea of what or who a friend with benefits is. He or she is still a friend but could be called perfect type of friends. In this arrangement, the two of you can enjoy endless amounts of casual sex without any of the messiness or demands of a romantic relationship. As long as you remember to establish the correct boundaries and neither party forms any emotional attachment now or never. And I kid you not; it can be the perfect type of relationship, I have been there before so I know what I’m saying, though not as easy as it sounds, but it is possible. And note that I am not talking about transactional sexual relationship where you give sex and take gifts. I am talking of two friends who are cool with each other but who are having a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved or having any kind of serious commitment. I am talking a kind of friend you can politely call up when you’re feeling horny and it’s late, and she will usually show up

So, now that we are clear, how do you as a guy hunt for a friend with benefits? Follow these tips and you can thank me later.

  1. Career Girls Are The Best

These types of friends are too busy to date but trust me; they still have sexual desires that need to be fulfilled. You’ll most likely have more success targeting a female friend who has a busy schedule and works way too much than the one who doesn’t. When you are a friend to those independent women who want it all, but genuinely don’t have the time, this is where you step in as a bros. the gist here is, women with busy careers most times make great friends with benefits because they love schedules and will always give you a deadline. To them, everything has to be on schedule, on their schedule. But, if you take this route, the woman involved is likely to be older and you might end up with a sugar momma. But, consider the upside, it means they’ll most likely be wealthier. So, get close to that career babe, fix yourself into her schedule, organize some drinks later, get busy with her, and watch what happens.

  1. Colleagues Are Perfect, But Be Discreet

One major trick of turning a colleague into a friend with benefits is to be discreet about it. Don’t discuss it with your mutual friends and colleagues and don’t blab about it. If you guys have shared a quick kiss before, or a brief fondling when alone in the office, and she has any inkling that you’ve discussed this with your buddies; she will run a mile away. Female colleagues may be just as horny and sexual as their male counterparts, but they don’t want to be viewed as easy, slutty, or promiscuous.

  1. Complain About Relationships

When you have identified the friend you want to move to FWB level with, make sure you complain about relationships. I am not talking about your own relationship here; rather what you need to do is, destroy the girl’s belief in conventional relationships. Especially if you are single, and she also just probably had her heart broken or she is simply not dating anyone at that moment. Then, it is possible she’s probably holding out for “Mr. Right”. All you need to do is, make it your mission to destroy that illusion. Tell her that “Mr. Right” doesn’t exist and she can just make do with what she has right now, the ‘what’ being – you. Have deep conversations over the struggles of dating and finding that special person. If she discusses her negative experiences with you, use them to your advantage. Make her realize how simple it would be to have a relationship that was purely about sex, devoid of the crap associated with dating. Outline the benefits of a friend with benefits situation in a hypothetical way. Do everything in your power to get her seriously thinking about it and see what happens. All humans have sexual needs and sometimes all it takes is someone to speak the truth, break it down, and make it easy for her to say “Yes.”

  1.  Get Drunk

The surest way to get it a friend with benefit is to get drunk with a friend and let nature take its course. It won’t be difficult to invite your friend over for a drink, or maybe you just have a sit-out somewhere far from her place, then make sure she has more than enough drink and then suggest you both go back to your place, afterall you guys are friends. But whatever you do in your crib, make sure at some point you go in for the kill and see what happens. If it goes bad, then you can blame the booze, but if you succeed and you have amazing sex and you both wake up the next morning filled with regret, you can also blame the booze. But who knows, you two might eventually discover you have the perfect friend with benefits situation, all thanks will still go to the booze. Whatever the outcome, it’s worth a shot or two – or more.

  1. If Her Boyfriend Is Abroad, Just Ask Her

If you know or have any female friend whose boyfriend or fiancé is abroad, it is quite easy to turn her into your friend with benefits. You only need to ask her straight up. Especially when you know her boyfriend is in UK or Malaysia or wherever even if na Sudan the guy dey. If she was your friend before then, it might be embarrassing but a guy has got to what a guy has got to do. Friend with benefits situation is not about romance, love, or feelings. It’s about no-strings-attached sex. And since the boyfriend is faraway somewhere, she will need sex once in a while (I’m sure). And you can never tell if you would be the lucky guy to be hitting that ‘p’ unless you ask. But it is important to be respectful and honest when broaching the subject. Lay all your cards on the table. Describe what you want and be adult about it. You need to make it clear that you are not after a romantic relationship or trying to break her relationship, it is purely about getting it on. But, note that this might affect your friendship because she might be very uncool with it. And if she is very angry about it, just tell her you were making a bad joke, and continue to being friends.

So, let’s say you have succeeded getting a friend with benefits, be careful not to blur the lines between being a FWB and having a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, because feelings are not part of the FWB equation. And this means that you keep the activities you do together solely in the bedroom, as one of the great thrills of a FWB is that no one needs to know about it. Also on the hand, be prepared to get rejected by your friend even after trying out all the tricks mentioned above. Stay Safe.

Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.


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