The Type of Sex That Doesn’t Count

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It is a common knowledge that when girls gather, they argue about different things ranging from fashion, hairstyles, make-up, boys and sex. Sex may not be a really common topic as so many girls try to pretend they are not sexually active. Some believe talking about it automatically make them look like prostitutes but when you hear girls talking about sex, they are almost too passionate about it; just like soccer is to men.


I was at the beach one saturday trying to clear my head when I heard these girls arguing. Out of curiosity, I moved close; enough to hear what they were saying but not close enough to make them suspicious that I was listening in on their conversation. Not that they cared as they raised their voices whenever they felt the need to make their messages stick in. I was so drawn to what they were saying that I felt like joining the discussion. It was one of those things that has always piqued my curiosity. They were arguing about what should be counted as “sex”.


My question is, is there really a type of sex that should never be counted as sexual intercourse?”


These girls have different opinions about when someone should not be added to their body counts. According to two of those girls, sex counts to them if they are doing it with their boyfriends or if they have more than one, the main boyfriend (apparently, girls keep side boyfriends too). Two other girls argued that it should not be counted as sex, only if the guy did not ejaculate. One of the girls said it should not be counted if it was a one-night stand sex. One girl did not agree and argued vehemently that sex was sex, so far there was an act of penetration. She even went as far as classifying “fingering, fellatio”  which we all consider as part of foreplay as sex. To her, if it imitates the action, it should as well be classified as sex and we all know these things involve insertion and withdrawal.


For a while, even after they left, I sat and thought of the things these girls said about sex. So many questions ran through my head and I decided to google “what does not count as sex” and I got so many interesting answers as to what does not count as sex. To some, if it was between two ladies, it should not be counted as sex but intercourse with another man or man to man is definitely sex. Some said “halvsies” doesn’t count as sex. For those who don’t know, “halvsies” in this context, is when the sex was interrupted before they both had the chance to orgasm or get into the action properly.


Some said sex should not count if both parties decided afterwards that it was a mistake and that it should never repeat itself again, like when you sleep with your best friend while both of you were very drunk. Some counted drunken sex, drug induced sex as “it never happened”. For some, it never happened if the guy used condom. It should only be counted if the guy went in without any protection; flesh to flesh. Some said if whatever you consider as not being sex is done to your sister, wife or girlfriend by a known person like your landlord and you get really pissed, then it should be counted as sex.


There were so many opinions but at the end of it all, it boiled down to the fact that our opinions are different from each other; my poison may be your food. Therefore, what counts as sex to you may not count as sex to the other. In my opinion, if I was sexually active and decided to go celibate till marriage because I turned a new leave or became a christian or just decided to chill off sex, my past sex life should not count and be used against me if I decide to come clean with whoever it is I’m sharing my past with. It’s just that I see this as a new beginning and the past is the past, it should be kept where it belongs; the past.


Beyond my opinion, what do you consider as “it never happened” sex? Should it be counted as long as there was penetration or should not counted if it was halvsies or it is not with your partner? You can use the comment box to share your opinions.

Alice Temitope Dako

Alice Temitope Dako

A passionate reader, a photographer of thoughts and an ardent book collector. A nerd in love with the world built by words...

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