Nikolai Talks (5): The Baby Mama Effect

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Ladies please take it easy! Fellas please take it easy! We are all begging you to take it easy. Carrying bele no be simple task, but from what I see, it is increasingly becoming an adopted trend! Pregnancy is something that should be adored and glorified as a gift from God. Why is it that in this day and age pregnancy has become such a common, accepted and justified condition under the wrong circumstances? Father’s day recently passed and OH YES did I see the bitter baby mama posts take full control of Facebook newsfeeds. “He’s a deadbeat dad.” “He ain’t ever bought pampers.” “Shout out to all the baby mamas like me with no child support.” Do we honestly need to hear all that? It is time to give it a rest. I know not everyone is a baby mama by personal choice, but there’s a great majority of women that go seeking for the ‘bele’.

Ignorance can no longer be an excuse. Ladies, you are the ones who will carry a child in your stomach for nine WHOLE months! You are the ones who will go through the pregnancy symptoms day in an day out! All a man ‘really’ does is put some small fishes inside you and goes his own way. Do you really think he is worried about swollen feet and morning sickness? Don’t think so, men and women are not the same.  That might sound blunt but it’s the truth. Men can be outright deceiving and highly animalistic creatures when trying to quench their thirst for sex. They will fool you with their finely scripted lines playing the role even pass Romeo himself!  It is up to you as a woman to hold your ground and take such critical decisions in your own hands. The bulk of women having sex today know the repercussions of their actions, but choose to overlook them. There is always time for enjoyment of course, but at what expense?

Normally, what is deemed fit as the norm in our society directs the path that we most likely will follow. There are positive and negative traits that people choose to inherit from their community. Today, the undesirable ones seem to have a greater impact in our lives. It’s nothing new to hear, but I want those ladies out there whom might struggle with listening to know that playing ‘the baby mama role’ is not an exemplary route to trail behind. It’s not a good look but somehow has become a repeated habit. Nowadays, there are so many young women who strongly feel as though they have no other option but to get pregnant. This could be as a result of peer pressure, what is seen on T.V, and sometimes mainly through their households.  I understand completely that one’s environment influences their behavior/ personal growth, but when you reach that ‘ripe’ age knowing you want to experiment, you clearly also know how to evaluate right from wrong. I am not saying that having a baby is wrong, but it’s not always everything you see others do that you must follow. We are reminded daily that becoming a baby mama can cause huge setbacks in one’s life, depression and even resentment. It is highly apparent but is still disregarded. Having a child is a lifetime commitment that requires full attention and support. Before engaging in ‘the sex’, analyze your current situation, the man who will be held responsible and your financial resources. Your conscience and reasoning should be clear.

A lot of ladies are looking for a man to ‘lock down’. The ones out there know themselves and in fact, some hold certifications in this ‘business’! They think getting pregnant will help them tie down a man who will provide financial stability in their lives and love them forever. I think that’s pretty funny since we all know love doesn’t grow overnight and a lot of men are stingy with money. They hop around from one bed to the next ignoring the fact that a lot of men aren’t always searching to be put in the family way. As a result, they are publically put to shame when confronted and left solely to cater for their child. You also have the younglings who think they are helplessly in love with one random fella like that and believe pregnancy will secure their relationship with each other. They end up in similar situations, beating down their spirits as they have to sacrifice much more than they had planned. Some women are lucky enough to get child support from their government, but a lot are left with nothing. How many men do you think will allow you impose in their life any kind of way?  I don’t know any!  Even if the guy agrees to accept responsibility, your intentions will never allow him to be fully invested in his obligations. You can’t just carelessly have ‘the sex’ and expect miracles.

A baby mama (baby mother) is normally a young mother who is not married to or has been abandoned by her child’s father. Just by the mere definition alone, you can tell it’s not a positive term. Getting pregnant out of wedlock is something that technically isn’t proper in the first place, so then imagine the effects of ending up as a baby mama. There are so many preventive measures available in today’s society to prevent reckless pregnancy, but we still behave as though we have no self-control.  A lot of women are blessed beyond measures to have children while others helplessly wait for the day they will bring another life into this world. Ladies, please let’s try to appreciate and treasure our bodies to maintain our principles.

Nikolai Obee

Nikolai Obee

Nikolai Obee (a.k.a Ms. Don't Use Me For Example) has a highly exuberant, but yet quirky personality. She’s a free spirit at heart and is constantly looking to broaden her horizons. She’s always open to others viewpoints and is an insightful listener, but never hesitant to speak her mind. Nikolai’s the typical girl next door, just with an animated twist! Follow her on Instagram @NikolaiObee Follow her blog @Nikolaiobee.blogspot.com

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