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Do you feel insecure about your relationship and snooping behind your partner’s back to find out what they’re up to? Do you have the compulsion to read your partner’s mails or going through their cell phone when they are not looking? Or you just have the habit of diving for their phone whenever it rang, in the hope of uncovering a secret lover, a secret message or something incriminating? Then, this post is just for you.

Snooping on your partner might seem like a good thing to do, it might give you some sense of security in the relationship, you might feel you have the right to know everything that is happening in your partner’s life; but it’s also riddled with a lot of insecurities, frustrating moments, loads of jealous tirades, and excessive clinging. When I was in the University, a married woman in my study group would always warn us never to call her mobile phone whenever she was home, even if what we wanted to tell her was about the group assignment or anything related to school work. She said her husband was always quick to dive for her phone and would conclude she was cheating if it was a guy at the other end of the phone, they eventually got separated and later divorced.

Sometimes, it is very tempting to snoop; one might even snoop without thinking, especially if one has a partner that leaves his/her phone unattended to for a while, it used to be diary but I have not seen anyone writing stuff down in a while, now it is social media, text messages and e-mails most times. I remember one ex-girlfriend of mine who asked to make a call with my phone while I was watching TV in the living room. She went into the bedroom with the phone and after some time came back fuming and throwing my phone on me with disdain before going to bed. Once in the room, I tried to ask her what happened, but she didn’t tell me till we went to bed (I also didn’t get the booty that night. LOL) so, next day, I asked what my offence was, and I was amazed when she told me I stored her number with only her first name while I stored someone else’s number with “Baby”. I tried to recall whose name I stored with “Baby” on my phone, none came to mind, and I simply told her so. She snatched my phone again and scrolled to my younger sister’s number which I stored with “Baby Sista” apparently she saw the “Baby” but in her anger, she missed the “Sista”. She still doubted me until I called the number, put it on speaker, and my younger sister picked the call.

It is surprising that some of us can be really weird in relationship. When our relationships seem to be going well and we feel the love blossoming, we just can’t imagine things to be so perfect. We suddenly would try to find flaws to pick, or try to uncover some ‘non-existent’ dark secrets of our partner, however odd it may be, and then we go around snooping and snooping until…

Well, my advice is; think twice before you put on your snooping glasses, because as exciting as snooping may seem, it can actually bring about a rift in your relationship that you wouldn’t have expected. Sometimes, we end up making our own partner fall into an affair in our constant pursuit of loyalty and security, and most times we fail to ask ourselves how we would feel if our partner always suspects us, however how hard we try to make them understand that we’re not a lying cheat.

But whether you’re sure your partner has something to hide or you just want to know everything they do when you are not there, make sure you’re prepared for the consequences of snooping in a relationship. So, as you go checking their pockets, their phones, their e-mails, and rummaging through their pigeon holes, I want you to know one of these three things could happen.

  1. You Will Always Find Something You Wish You Hadn’t

As annoying as this may sound, it does nothing to change the fact that it’s true. Almost every time you snoop, you are bound to find something or the other that you may not like, even if it is something very insignificant.

  1.  You Will Get Caught Trying To Snoop

This can be just as disastrous as the first one. If you’re snooping and trying to find any evidence of some secret shag, your partner might just walk in on you while you are at it, and I really don’t know what your explanation would be. That you don’t trust them enough, and you are looking for evidence or what?

  1. You Will Regret Snooping

Every time you snoop, I assure you that you will always end up regretting, whether you find something or otherwise. If you find something, you might regret finding such a secret, and if you don’t, you would just be as frustrated or you would regret ever doubting your partner. Either ways, there will be regrets, and certain times, it is better to let the sleeping dog lie.

So, do you snoop on your partner? Do you have any experience concerning a snooping partner? Why not let’s share it in the comment section. Stay Safe

Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on www.degreatest2.wordpress.com and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.


  1. This subject matter is particularly of interest to me because, I can relate personally to it. I attest to the fact that; however tempted one is to snoop, let it go. The side-effects are worse than one can imagine. The security you thought you needed won’t come. Instead, you go into deeper insecurity, and even feel emasculated (whether or not you get caught). Been there, done that, NEVER AGAIN!!!

  2. Hmmmmm. Joba, that is so true. the security from snooping is an illusion. it will never come. Thanks for reading. we all have been there done that, I think

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