Cheating Myths and Misconceptions

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CHEATING MYTHS AND MISCONCEPTIONS

One of the greatest challenges to a committed relationship is when one partner goes outside of the relationship to look for a connection, either physical or emotional. And when the other partner finds out about the infidelity, they often make all kinds of assumptions about how and why their partners would cheat on them. The assumptions, however, are most times probably wrong and the reactions might just be as wrong too. A lot of times, people have certain misconceptions or should I call them myths about cheating, cheating partners, what constitute cheating, and the truth behind infidelity. And these myths have ruined a lot of relationships that could have bounced back after one partner cheats or even before a partner cheats.

IT IS NOT CHEATING IF THERE IS NO SEX

So many people in relationship are cheating on their partners without any sex involved at all. You might be staying up half the night secretly texting an old flame or some attractive colleague in your office, or that friend of the opposite sex you share your most intimate thoughts and plans with. If you are the one doing that, you would probably not see it as cheating, but I bet your partner would see it so. But whichever way you see it or your partner sees it, when you give an emotional part of yourself to someone with whom you could potentially cheat with one day, it’s cheating.

AFFAIR IS ALL ABOUT SEXUAL ATTRACTION

Sure, some affairs are only about the sex, but most of the time, affairs happen because of an emotional connection. Sometimes, hanging out together and sharing feelings is as far as an affair ever goes, but the sense of emotional closeness also often leads to sex. So, it is advisable that we all find a way to be emotionally close to our partners.

ONCE A PARTNER CHEATS, IT’S THE END

This is not always true, even if your friends and families want you to believe so, people will tell you once he or she cheats on you once; he/she will do it over and over again, and the best thing you can do to avoid that, is to call off the relationship totally. Truth is, affairs happen, and people do recover, only that you hardly ever hear success stories because no one wants to discuss the past especially when it comes to cheating and a forgiven partner. But couples can learn to successfully rebuild their relationships, and make their bonds even stronger once they’ve worked things through. We should realize that we don’t live in the movies or in the romance novels, so distinguishing infidelity fact from fiction can help you and your partner gain a better understanding of how an affair happens; what to expect if one does, and what you can do to prevent infidelity.

ONCE THERE IS PROBLEM IN RELATIONSHIPS, AFFAIR MUST HAPPEN

The truth is almost, if not every relationship has problems, and the solution to those problems is not having another affair. The fact that something is wrong with the relationship doesn’t necessarily mean it has to end in cheating and another affair. Having problems in your relationship doesn’t justify cheating, an extra – affair would only happen partly because the affected couple doesn’t understand yet how to work together to solve the issues they have.

ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER

I know there are some jerks out there, men and women alike. But not everyone who cheats is a serial cheater. Some people have one affair and it is a one-time thing. But what happens after the affair has ended can either set your relationship on a stability course or blow it straight out of water. I have seen married couples who have been able to deal successfully with the issue of a cheating partner, so why can’t partners in a relationship do same. All I’m saying is, do not throw the baby out with the bathing water if your partner is caught cheating. Do not take any rash decision, there might be a reason for it even if it is unjustifiable, and you might be able to work things back to how they were.

MEN HAVE AFFAIRS BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS ON THE PROWL

This is not so most of the time, sometimes, an affair happens to people and men who are not even looking for it. Affairs often begin when fire in the main relationship is no longer burning brightly, when the relationship is not as comfortable as it used to be, when the man is suddenly feeling really comfortable with someone else outside his partner; like the person sitting beside his desk at work. Because they would listen to him more and not throw tantrums or become judgmental and act all moody like his partner, and then the closeness and coziness is followed by sharing intimate secrets, which can then progress into an emotional connection that’s consummated with a full-blown affair.

So, I believe every relationship problem can be worked on, even if not all relationships are worth fighting for. You should know what you want in a relationship and if you truly believe you want to go through with yours; things can be great again even after cheating has happened. Stay Safe.

 

Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on www.degreatest2.wordpress.com and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.

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