Today, I got so angry I could not breathe. It was over a really small issue and that was what made me even angrier. I’ve been proud of the fact that my anger was a thing of the past until today when I realised that part of me was not dead but just waiting for the right moment to wake up from its slumber. My old therapy of doing chores till the anger dissipates did not work as I drove myself to wash plates and clean the kitchen but was still angry when I was done.
I was so angry that I started thinking about things I had no business thinking of in the first place. I thought of deadly stuff, what led me to that situation and I started blaming myself for being in that position to be angered. Blaming myself did not help matters, as it got worse; my head began to ache badly and my eyes were getting really cloudy. Why did I have to allow someone like myself get that angry? Why did I give the person such power over my emotions? What happened to that girl that vouched to keep things at bay and never let anyone get so deep for the sake of her own sanity. These questions ran through my mind till I found answers.
Things happen to us not the way we want it but in a way that make us become better through them. Experience gives us an edge over others and teaches us how to relate better when we are faced with such issues again. Rather than be blinded by fury and do irrational things, we should try and imagine that particular experience preparing us for a better position, a better person, a better job etc. I’ve rarely seen the positive side of making decisions or talking while angry. You end up saying things you never meant to say that may end up scarring your offender for the rest of his life.
Excuse their ignorance for you and not for them because when you are angry, you are not yourself. Anger breeds contempt and unforgiveness and makes you blind not just to the person that made you angry but everyone around you. You figure you can’t help anybody else or let anybody in so they won’t hurt you which is bull. Like it or not, you get hurt more than once in your life. If you don’t learn how to deal with it, you are going to hurt yourself and the people around you, over and over.
Angry, miserable people don’t just make the decision to be angry or miserable one day, the past experience they had that were not handled well made them that way. If I can’t forgive this little thing someone I call my friend did to me, what can I then forgive? Will I be able to forgive that stranger that steps on me without uttering an apology? Will I not lock myself up totally and kick people who cherish my friendship away from me? What happens when my sibling or kid is going through the same issue? Will I be able to give my advice without remembering that someone did that same to me and then angrily dish out my opinion? What advice will I give? Will my advice not drag them down the same pit I dug for myself out of unforgiveness?
You can’t give a thorough advice without giving yourself one. If you do, you are the biggest hypocrite; you’ve not forgiven yet you want someone to forgive another. Maybe you should consider the fact that no one is without fault and we offend one another at all times. It could have been you in the position of your offender. How will you feel when you find out your friend is holding grudges against you despite your apologies? Sides can be swapped at anytime and we can not tell at whose mercy we may be tomorrow.
When God told us to love our neighbours as ourselves, he understood that the only way we can totally forget is when we see others as ourselves. I mean, if you bite your own tongue, will you cut it out? Loving others like you love your own self means you can forgive without even being asked to, no matter how much they hurt you, you forgive them. If a friend decides to keep on hurting you at all times, then distance yourself from that person. Friends hurt one another but not more than they help each other. If the person always tries to talk you down and always make you cry, time to tell yourself you’re done. You need people who will influence your life positively and not make you feel less of who you are.
Still, forgive as much as possible. No better therapy than letting it all go. When you forgive a person, you feel much better than before, so why not do it for you? Angry people are destructive people. They only listen to that tiny beast in them telling them to avenge the wrong done to them. This beast is so deadly because it often doesn’t rest until you have done as it wishes or shut it up by forgiving. When you forgive, it becomes easier to be forgiven. Besides, anger rest in the bosom of a fool. You are wiser than allowing such a small issue ruin your happiness. Tell that little beast, “I’m not a fool and you won’t rest in me.”