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From the Destiny’s Child classic “Independent Women” to Neyo’s 2008 hit, “Miss Independent” to Jamie Foxx’, “She got her own”, women are always quick to chant the lyrics to a song that celebrates their independence or the strength they have got on their own.

It is a beautiful, exhilarating and wonderful experience to be able to sing along to lyrics of songs that celebrate the Independent woman who can do everything on her own, by herself and for herself. And the song should now be so sweet, it is a number one on Billboard charts and in countries like the UK, the US, Australlia and Canada? Then we are all for it. We will sing it in the shower while we use our soap as the mic(if it is not the slippery one and if it is not a bathing gel), we will sing it in the kitchen, using our spoons as microphone and we might even dress like the lead video vixen, get T-shirts that reiterate the lyrics of the song and hashtag our every tweet and Instagram pictures with #Independentwoman #MissIndependent #IamsoindependentIcandoalmosteverythingbymyself #AreyoumadcantyouseeIamindependent.



But really what is independence? Unable to save ourselves out of financial situations while we run to a man for help? Unable to change car tyres in an emergency? Or looking for a “driver” anytime we have to go somewhere? Does independence start and end in the all of four minutes a song lasts? Or is it simply about the hashtags?

Heys Independent sisters, here are the things you should know how to do or must do to be able to really earn that title.

How to change tyres and check the little things regarding your car.

I know changing tyres isn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, but do you know how strong women are? Do you know as much as we might allow men to tell us we might be emotionally strong but not physically strong, we are still as strong as they are? If you get stranded by the roadside because your tyre is flat and a man gets down to help you from his own car, then no wahala. But the moment you stand by the car, in your heels and human hair, looking like a princess in distress while waiting for your Prince Charming (or Ramsey Noah/Emeka Ike as it usually is in Nollywood movies) to come and save the day, then my dear, ya not independent o, ya not even close!

Be your own driver!

My girl pal, Seilat and I always tell each other after we have tried to no avail to find boys to drive us to the Cinema or some event, that what if we don’t have these options, can’t we just take a freaking cab? We are working women for Pete’s sake. Which is the same thing I would say, you need a driver to get somewhere, can’t you just be your own driver? You don’t have a car? Then get into a cab? You can’t afford one, then enter a bus and keep praying that the day you can afford a cab/a car should fastforward and come soon. You don’t want to enter bus? Then sit in the house and watch Television.

The moment when your mobility is dependent on a man and his car, then I really don’t see how you are independent. I really don’t see it.

How to fix little things in the house

Learn how to change switches, learn how to fix little electrical appliances, learn how to put things in place and sing Miss Independent while at it if you like. Just don’t laze around and keep yourself stranded because you cannot do something about the TV or the adaptor or the switch. And if it is something you cannot do yourself, then get an electrician, don’t be waiting for a man to come and help you out.

Learn how to take care of you and others

I always say, if you have an active sex life, then it means you are well aware of the fact that a baby can pop in at any time even when you are being too careful. If you decide to have this child, you do realize that is another life dependent on you, right? Now, if you are still dependent on others, how do you want to take care of another life?

Learn how to be content

This one is for younger women in Universities especially. At this age, whether you like it or not, you are still dependent on your parents/guardian but what makes you a woman who can hold her head up high is when whatever you’re being given by them is okay for you. Then you don’t have to rely on your boyfriend or other male friends to give you money before you can live. Cut your clothes according to the material you have. Shikena and the rest is easy.


Independence has never been something you just sing or chant or claim, to be independent, you gotta work your ass out for it! Beyonce, Genevieve Nnaji, Rihanna and all the other independent women you claim to be like are not sitting down like Disney princesses waiting for their Prince Charming to come and fix their problems, they work their asses off!



Content Writer|Screenwriter|Coke Addict|Feminist|Amala Activist|Future Hero. Twitter&Instagram @Tomilola_coco

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