Abstinence by @damstylee

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It used to be alarming. It’s not anymore.

Once upon a time, it used to be a taboo, an abomination that mustn’t be heard of. People would literally gasp, squeak and leave their mouths aghast. Mothers would collapse in shock and faint while their husbands would look dejected with tears rolling down their sunken faces.

That was then.

Today, It’s not so.

In fact it seems like the reverse these days.

Some parents now gasp when they find out their children are still intact. Intact in the sense that they are still virgins.

I once heard a saying that the only virgins on the planet are new born babies and the ones in the womb.

Alarming?  Not remotely.

Shocking?  Not anymore.

Sad? Hell Yea!


If you marry as a virgin, you’ll suffer. You better open your eyes.” Girls now tell each other.

What?! You be virgin? You don f**k up?” Their male counterparts say amongst themselves, taunting the ‘intact’ ones among themselves.


It’s sad when you remember that children once looked forward to unleashing ‘the cookie’ on their matrimonial beds the night of their wedding or the ensuing honeymoon.

Gone are the days when being a virgin was a thing of pride, when girls giggle in anticipation of seeing that blood stained wrapper or bed sheets and guys beat their chests and boast about how glorious their first times would be.


Morals these days have been abused.

Battered, harassed and mocked.

Porn and her brother; Rape are the order of the day.

Sex orgies and Threesomes have suddenly become household names.

Durex and  Postinor are suddenly multimillion dollar companies. All because we sent Morals home on holiday.


It is safe to say this generation is gone. We can only hope the next ones don’t catch the bug.

Revivals and prayer sessions won’t be sufficient.

Death threats or strokes of a cane or koboko from parents won’t help either.

Get out sex education manuals. Organize orientation seminars. Incorporate abstinence lectures in schools and their curriculums.

The problem cannot be extinguished sadly as it has eaten deep into our society’s core but the solution for taming it is not beyond us.


Stop abstaining because of the fear of HIV or STDs.

Start abstaining because it’s the right thing to do.


Mike Dammy blogs at damstylee.wordpress.com and you follow him on twitter @damstylee.



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