YOUR HOUSE-HELP OR HUSBAND’S HELP?

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YOUR HOUSE-HELP OR HUSBAND’S HELP?

Mrs. Rolake Davies is the COO (Chief Operating Officer) of a leading foreign manufacturing firm in Lagos; she is responsible for the development, design, operation, and improvement of the systems that create and deliver the firm’s products. So, we can rightly say she has a well-paying job and one that takes most of her time. She is 42 and has been married to her husband who is 45 for almost 10 years, they have 3 children together, the youngest being 5 years old. After her last child, she soon concluded that juggling her work schedule with taking care of the home-front was becoming tedious by the day, so she hired a domestic maid almost 5 years ago.

Joke started working for the Davies when she finished her secondary school in Saki, Oyo state, and her parents could not afford to send her to a higher institution, she eventually followed a distant aunt who promised to get her a job so she would be able to save money and maybe pay for her university education by herself someday. On getting to Lagos, she was introduced to the Davies and was told to just help out in the house, with a promise that she would be assisted with her university education if she exhibited good manner and stayed a good girl.

Mr. Davies never had any issue with his wife getting a domestic help, he has his own printing business and he also writes, so whenever he is not in his office, he is at home sitting in his study and writing or editing stuff. He rarely had anything to discuss with Joke except when she was serving his food or she had to collect his car keys whenever she was asked to wash. But after the third year, Joke was enrolled in one of the LASU part time schools, her outlook on life changed, alongside her personality and her carriage, one thing led to the other and Mr. Davies started having regular sex with her once they are alone together in the house, without the knowledge of Rolake of course.

But she did find out, she was supposed to travel to the UK that evening and her husband dropped her at the airport around 6pm, before going back home. Around 8pm, it was announced that the flight had been cancelled and rescheduled to the next day due to operational reasons, she didn’t want to stay in the hotel offered them by the airline and the network was all messed up, so she couldn’t call her husband; she decided to take a cab home. It was raining and almost midnight when she got home, the gateman innocently opened the gate for her while she let herself in with her own key; getting to their bedroom, she couldn’t find her husband, she checked him in his study, but he was not there, she later decided to ask Joke if her husband had gone out or something of sort, she opened the door to her room and she found her husband in the arms of Joke, nude – peacefully enjoying the rainy night!

She screamed and fainted…

The above picture is what happens today in most homes behind the ‘madams’ of the house, but why not some woman with some class and proper education outside there? Why the maid?

During the week, madam is so busy and genuinely trying to climb the corporate ladder, while the weekends are meant for doing the nails, the hair, the spa and catching up on those parties or red carpet events which are also very important. So there is really not much time to even notice if anything is going wrong in the house that is being fully run by the housemaid. Because of the absentee madam, the maid has suddenly become like the second mummy to the kids, most times, they even call her ‘Aunty’ and prefer her company to that of their mum; the maid now knows the food that madam’s husband likes, she knows his favourite shirt and tie on a Monday, she is always in the kitchen, she irons his clothes, polishes his shoes, and now knows the size of his genital.

Do not get me wrong, I am not trying to heap all the blame on the women who have corporate jobs; I have heard too many stories of men who are just useless, they make sexual advances to the housemaid, and she is too scared to refuse so she won’t lose her job, and if she tried reporting it to ‘madam’ it would be a lose-lose situation for her as the only solution would be for her to leave the house, so the maid plays along while hoping madam would not find out. Other maids do it because most ‘madams’ of the house are too unfriendly to them, while the husband is a bit friendly, so the maid can only talk, watch television or feel free whenever she is home alone with ‘daddy’ and before you know what is happening, the maid would want to show the ‘madam’ of the house that she is just as capable, and she would want to put madam in her place. A certain housemaid I knew long time ago was tired of her madam maltreating her and looking down on her; she seduced the husband and they had a relationship going on for quite a while right under madam’s nose, the man later gave her money to rent her own place and start a business while their relationship continued.

Some men caught in the shameful act of bedding their maids have complained about women who have turned “career women” they say, these kind of women have become so distant and aggressive that they have become a turn-off to their husbands, they deny their husbands sex, because they are either too tired or moody to stress themselves. So, the man had to look for pleasure elsewhere, and it is more cumbersome to search for pleasure outside when one is rightly placed in front of him.

I personally don’t think there is anything wrong in a woman trying to build a sterling career, but do not neglect the fact that when you leave the total running of your household to the housemaid, you are paving a sure way for her to take over and be the woman of the house. Look, a housemaid is a complete woman especially in this time and age where hiring a domestic worker below 18 years is gradually becoming a crime. So, do not look at her education or even race and conclude that she cannot be the other woman in your husband’s life, because anytime you leave the house or travel because of work; you are leaving your husband with another woman who most probably knows your house and few things about your husband more than you do.

While I’m not in any way suggesting that all housemaids sleep with the man of the house or every woman should start suspecting their maids and go around accusing their husbands, I think every woman should find a balance somehow so that the housemaid will not take over your rightful duties and become the other woman due to your own negligence. And let me tell you, being extra nice to your maid does not guarantee that you are safe, but being horrible to her and maltreating her might just be a faster way of pushing her to want to deal with you especially if your husband is such a man that cannot bridle his libido.

But, what can one do to avoid this situation? I wish I knew, but I am just a guy, so if you have any suggestion or you are a married woman and you have been able to deal successfully with this issue, kindly share with me in the comment section. Stay Blessed.

 

Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on www.degreatest2.wordpress.com and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.

8 comments

  1. Welldone Mr Chris…What can be done to avoid this…hmmmm!Only God knows cos we are all humans and no matter how we treat the maids, what dey’ll do is what they’ll do..Human’s can’t be trusted. We just need God to guide us and keep our home cos its not a funny scenerio @ all……Welldone.

  2. Thanks Olubukola, God will guide all you women in making the right choice concerning husbands and housemaids as applicable!

  3. OK im going to do something radical here and suggest something controversial…are you ready for it Chris….how about….The husband respects his home and the marriage vows he made before God and keep his genitals in his pants. Kind of radical right???!!!

  4. The woman of the house should stay alert as always and not assume the husband is a saint or the house help is decent.She should watch how they both relate with each other,that is,whether there is any awkwardness on their parts.She should also try to watch her househelp’s demeanour towards her for any sign of change.Above all,the woman of the house should be prayerful and not take anything for granted.

  5. Great article, my comment coming a few years late. Not blaming women, but men are men and women are women. No matter how modern we think we are, we have a million years of biology people want to forget about. I am attracted to a woman who will take care of me, cook for me and such. That is my nature, and I think the nature of most men. Some women want to live corporate lives, fine. But many men would find themselves more attracted to the maid in that case, like it or not. We ignore biology and nature at our peril.

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