This is a super sensitive topic in a society like Nigeria and that is because we don’t like to address the issues leaping at us in the face, we would rather be bothered about things that don’t matter and shut our eyes to these important things.
It is not news that unmarried couples live together in Nigeria and a large percentage of them actually even have kids!
I am not here to suggest how to start a family or how not to, I am just here to give the advantages of living together before marriage.
Note: I said before marriage. So I am not advising living together without getting married.
- You get to really know the other person, like really know them. No matter how much time you spend with them when you go to say hi during the week or when you spend weekends together, you cannot really know them until you actually move in with them. There are some shocks that you will get after the honeymoon is over that will not be so shocking if you have both been shacking up together before that time.
- You get to know if there is actually a future for you both. Believe it or not, hanging out together with friends, going places together and doing the most amazing things with your partner is great but it is only great until you move in together and realize their husband/wife material is only one yard and cannot even tie gele conveniently. Moving in together can expose some things you will not be comfortable with later on in the relationship and it can help you decide if you really want to be with this person.
- You get to share responsibilities. You ease into the marriage life early enough to “rehearse” for the main thing. You can rehearse breakfast in bed, waking up to each other’s beautiful faces and sharing NEPA bills. Hehe you can also split money for buying fuel since NEPA will ensure there will be darkness every other time. Sharing responsibilities before the real thing will help when you eventually start sharing responsibilities when the real thing begins.
- You get to have plenty fun. You can have all the fun of being together without the whole wahala and expectations of a married couple. Since you are still unmarried, you can spend a lot of time with your friends while your partner does the same and you can even have a party in your flat. It is a whole lot of fun being together this way.
Living together before marriage might not work for a lot of people and because Nigeria is a very religious society, it is heavily frowned upon around here but if you choose to begin your lives together that way, why not?
The reasons stated above are little out of the numerous reasons why it is not such a bad idea. And contrary to what people think, it doesn’t always allow the man take you for granted, rather it gives you time to save up for that dream wedding while you both have each other close.