What That ‘Hoe’ Never Shared With You by @emini_ANOTI

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Rape is one topic that we can never talk about enough. Currently, the world is having a rape culture where it is so easy to rape and go scot free. At a point, I was scared that rape had turned into a normal thing, that the victim has no choice but to lie there and endure the pain while the guy ravishes her against her will because she is scared of what the guy might do to her if she resists.

Each victim goes through different traumas and how one copes will totally differ from the other. The fact that most of these victims can’t even talk about their experience does not help matters.


Most of the girls live double lives afterwards in a bid to look normal to people. They pretend to be one thing to people and then in their closets, they are crying their eyes out. You can never imagine the pains these people are going through. They can’t talk yet they can constantly hear the groan of their rapists, feel his hot breath on their cheeks, his hands yanking their hair almost ripping it out in the process, the forceful entry, the slaps, the grunts of satisfaction as they lie there feeling very helpless in their head. Some rape victims will turn to drugs and alcohol just to help them deal with the horror. Some draw into their shells and decide to work their backs off, some become terrible loners, some become lesbians while some sleep around.


Victims that become promiscuous mainly assure themselves that they are normal. They find a guy they like and without much stress, they jump in bed with him. It is not as if they could not say no but they just want to test if they are really over their horror. They get so anxious in the bedroom but will never show you. These girls bring their A game to the bed because they feel when they enjoy the sex, the flashbacks will go but that is basically not happening as after the sex, the flashbacks are even stronger.


These girls relive their horrible rape experience after every sex they have especially when they are trying to pretend they are normal. Every encounter feels like they are being raped all over again. The shock, the pain, the nightmare comes back and knocks them down so badly, they become detached from the guy. They refused to return calls or visit. They wait for a while before heading for another guy. They will sleep with random guys over and over just for that assurance that they are normal. They keep hopping from one bed to another trying to find that “normal balance” that is missing and then people start to call them hoes. Some even sleep around just to tell themselves they are in charge of men or their own sexuality.


I know it is cliché and you’ve heard it from somewhere before. Girls have defended their non-virgin state with rape just to get cheap sympathy or pity or whatever they intended from the guys. Some guys are so sick of hearing it that any girl that says it will be shown the door quickly but a true rape victim finds it difficult to tell you her story. When she trusts you enough to share it with you, she withdraws and then you wonder what is going on. A rape victim does not enjoy sleeping around, she gets home and beats herself up for being stupid. She stays up and cries till her eyes are too swollen and weak to open.


Fact is, that girl you call a hoe probably can’t help herself. She’s trying too hard to let go of the rape and sees it as something too meaningless to have a migraine over. Like nicotine, she will rush to sex when she has a nervous breakdown in order to escape depression but like a knife victim that keeps stabbing herself in the thigh, she will keep on going back and keep on hurting the more until she heals. It is best to study her and try to reach out to her. She was not born a hoe, she was turned into a hoe by that horrible circumstance called rape.

Alice Temitope Dako

Alice Temitope Dako

A passionate reader, a photographer of thoughts and an ardent book collector. A nerd in love with the world built by words... www.theinkheartnlog.com


  1. Judge not* forever etched in my memory, true talk. Most times we are used to people saying stuff about other people without knowing the inner tumoils that go on in their lives. Thanks for re-instating this lesson.

  2. You’re welcome darl…. Judging people based on their actions without knowing what is really going on with them is just plain hypocritical because we expect people to understand us and not judge us.
    Thank you for reading through 🙂

  3. I agree with you 70% because our mistakes in life are what makes us what we are today but I have to let you know humans will always be humans & humans will always talk wether good or bad but a rape case is a stupid alibi to be a hoe. Hoes are hoes because they choose to be and 99% of them can never change and its not because of the pain involved because as humans, we always have choices. That hoe choose to dwell on the pain and make a miserable life outta herself. Rape is evil, I’d skin a rapist from his dick to knee cap if I catch one but know this, men are also victims so let’s not blame just the men here, some women put themselves in positions to get raped too

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