We Are Breaking Up: The Case of the Insatiable Female

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Being on bed rest gives you a lot of time to do things you usually won’t do like surfing the internet for almost 24 hours, only taking breaks when you have to eat, take your drugs and nap. You have time for all the Twitter drama and facebook boys looking for love everywhere. It gets really boring if the social network “streets” are sane but when there are twitfights, nudes, sex tapes, sex chats and break-up stories trending everywhere, it is 100 percent fun. As for me, bed rest or no bed rest, I live for all that Twitter drama but that particular week, I was really sick and had to stay at home; Twitter was my only source of entertainment.

 

I was going through my timeline when I saw a tweet of a guy talking about Dubai trips, wedding ring, 5 years and a Twitter handle without the @. Hungry for gist, I quickly copied the handle and searched. It belonged to a girl that resides in Ghana. The girl was tweeting at some people that were her fiance’s friends to tell him to come and take his ring back. According to her tweets, her boyfriend was metrosexual and that was why she was throwing 5 years and his ring back at him.

 

Not sure if the word meant the same thing I know it to mean, I quickly went to google and searched. According to Wikitionary, metrosexual is a man concerned with personal appearances such as personal grooming, fashion and aesthetics in general (usually urban, heterosexual, often affluent). It further defined metrosexual as a man who sociologically has the same attributes as a gay man but is interested/attracted to people of the opposite sex. This means that the only crime the guy committed was paying attention to his body more than an average guy should.

 

I put it up as my PM (private message) and one of my friends; a guy pinged and asked me to give him the gist. I did and all he could say was “women, you people are never satisfied”. I sat for a while and thought about how true that statement was. Most women are actually insatiable, they don’t want to compromise at all for their spouses but want the men to do that for them. They expect the man to manage the 50 percent they are bringing to the table while they can’t condone the fact that he is putting 95 percent down. Like that girl, her boyfriend took her to Dubai on romantic trips, did so many other nice stuff for her and was faithful. Her only reason for breaking up with him, with the twitworld as her witness was that the guy paid too much attention to his body; something she felt only her was supposed to be doing.

 

I know most women believe that they are the only ones committed to their relationships but that’s a lie. Once a man finds a woman he loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with, he is always ready to do everything to make it work. Men love just as hard as women do. Maybe we should understand that there is nothing like perfect. If you think your present boyfriend’s missing 5 percent is worth breaking up over, your next may be missing 30 percent.

 

There was a time I was always impatient. Once a guy did something I did not like, I would move away from him quickly without waiting for any explanation. In doing that, I missed out on the best I could have gotten from him, the best he could have been for me. Patience is a virtue every woman should have. If you think your bestie’s relationship is all rosy and perfect and yours is boring because he is not doing certain things your friend’s boyfriend is doing,  the guy is not giving you expensive gifts like your friends are getting, you should stop looking at your friends’ relationships and face the man you are dating. It could come off as shocking to you what your friend goes through in the hands of her acclaimed loving boyfriend. Before you call him to tell him it is over, ask yourself over and over these questions:

a. What attracted me to this guy?

b. Why did I say yes to him when he was not the only one asking me out?

c. Do I still feel the same way about him like I used to when we first started dating?

d. Have things gotten really bad that the relationship can’t be fixed?

e. Is breaking up with him the solution to this problem?

 

There was something I learned from a movie. If you think you can’t stand your partner anymore and you want to break up with him, take a sheet of paper and divide it into two with a line. Label one part good and the other bad. Write down the good things he has been to you (not the material gifts he gave you) and the bad things he has been to you. If the bad outweighs the good, you can then break up with him. While taking this test, make sure you are very sincere with yourself. In the course of doing this, you may even discover that the problem is not even with the guy but with you. Understanding where the problem lies is the best, before you pack the same baggage to the next man and you keep feeling like no man can be right for you.

 

When should you break up with your man? Use the comment box to drop your opinions.

Alice Temitope Dako

Alice Temitope Dako

A passionate reader, a photographer of thoughts and an ardent book collector. A nerd in love with the world built by words... www.theinkheartnlog.com

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