The Happy Single: Enjoying Your Singleness by @emini_ANOTI

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There are times it gets terribly lonely and you just need that special somebody very close to you. It can even be worse when you turn around and your friends are “loving up” with their partners and you are just left alone to love up with empty space. As a single girl, I know these things can be so painful and can be very depressing as it may make you rush to say yes to the next man that asks you out.


I can remember when my singleness was getting to me. I have 5 sisters and imagine all of them sitting down to talk about their boos and I had nothing to say. Even my younger ones were talking about their boyfriends and I would scream “What is wrong with me?” in my mind. Then, I would jump at any offer of “be my girlfriend” just to have something to say too and not feel left out. I was basically pretending because my heart was not in the whole thing. I was happier being single than I was dating and then it hit me. Why can’t I be happy being who I am rather than trying too hard to feel like part of something?


The views about relationships these days are very pathetic. The fact that people don’t even know why they are in a relationship with a person, is even more ridiculous. I mean, sometimes you ask someone why he/she is with someone and the answer they give you just make you shake your head. It is like being in a relationship is about societal norms than loving your partner. People just want to be in relationships not because they see the other person as a worthy partner but because they are expected to date, just like I was doing. I am past my teen age and they expect me to have someone serious I’m dating.


I’ve seen quite a number of people having boyfriends and girlfriends just because their friends have and are pressuring them. The most foolish reasons I’ve ever heard are dating so that the boy can buy you material things you can’t get from home or you just don’t want your money to get them, boy dating a particular girl because being with her will make him more popular in school or just for the sex. People have so many crazy reasons for staying in relationships and the reasons are alarming especially when the relationship is draining life out of them. Frankly, I feel people love the idea of being in relationships more than the people they are with.


I’m a single girl and that is not because men are not flocking around me. There are so much men that I can decide to date one per week if I choose but nope, I remained single by choice and I am loving every moment. I found myself living for myself and grooming myself to be a woman my husband would be proud to call his. One time, I was talking with a friend and he said most women will end up being treated as trash in their relationships and marriages because they don’t know who they are. Some girls are nothing without their boyfriends. They want to eat, fix their hair, shop for new clothes; the boy is the one providing and you want that boy to respect you and not treat you like a rag?


If you want respect, love and all the good things in your relationship, you have to start with discovering yourself, loving yourself, grooming yourself. Do not because people are doing it, you should jump into something that will destroy you. Enjoy every moment. You do not need a man to make you happy. Besides, if you are angry, sad person, it will be hard for anyone to make you happy. Work on yourself. Men love women of standards and not substance. Use your single days to acquire the best of standards that will draw the best of men to you.


If you feel you are not ready to be in a relationship, don’t force it just to satisfy the people around you. Enjoy the time you are alone. Shop, laugh, take yourself out on dates, build an enviable life for yourself that will make your “future boo” proud of you.

Alice Temitope Dako

Alice Temitope Dako

A passionate reader, a photographer of thoughts and an ardent book collector. A nerd in love with the world built by words...


  1. My oppinion but in a better form. Well said dear,I hope people actually read this & work with it.

  2. Every thing you talked about is true and you brought back the lime light to being single and independent. Nice one Al. Nice one.

  3. Many married people that skipped this hard truth about singlehood are regretting it but can’t be single again except divorcee,seperated,widow,widower and all but singles still have the golden opportunity to plan the ‘irreversible phase of life’ called Married. Thanks for that destiny moulding piece,kudos! Alice

  4. This is well articulated. I like how each point was explained too.

    What many fail to realize is that they’ve got to live not by standards set for them.

    Failing to enjoy the single period is great disservice to oneself.

    Nice 1 writer…

  5. Well said hun. Its a good thing to understand that being single isn’t a crime or abnormal, its just a declaration of independence and loving it only shows how you value and love yourself, because if you love yourself, you automatically attract love.

  6. So true Alice. Many a times we just jump into fruitless and mindless relationship and the scar from it sometimes lives with us through life like a prize. Enjoy your singleness and discover who you really are. If you don’t love yourself for who you are, no one will do.

  7. Wow I love this piece!! I was in a relationship for like 2yrs and it jst ended early this year and I just don’t feel like dating now not bcos I am not over d breakup yet but I jst feel like being single for a while and jst focus on my self,u knw get my priorities right.

  8. Perfect choice, jay. It is always best to wait and sort ourselves out before to the next relationship, baggage and all. I know a perfect choice is coming your way soon 😉

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