Ofilispeaks – Afro: The Girl With The Magical Hair Part 2

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So last year I started working on this fictional fairy tale story about a girl who had an afro…a HUGE and humongous AFRO with magical powers. It was a spin on the classic Rapunzel story but with an ethnic bootylicious seasoning to it. I wrote it primarily for my love of natural hair…the way it tends to rise up versus fall down in some cases and mainly because of its beauty and authenticity. A beauty that has been eroded by media, fashion and yes fairy tales…so I flipped the entire Rapunzel story (literally flipped it). Check out the result below and let me know what you think about it…jisike…

If you haven’t already, read the first part here!

 

THE GOODIE BAG AND SELLING POINT

But for nights he could not get the music in the ground out of his head. He wondered who was singing and why the queen was walking around in the woods and how her hair had transformed into a glowing mass of awesomeness.

The prince had to see for himself. So one early morning when everyone in the kingdom was still fast asleep the Prince made his way to the edge of the forest and began retracing his steps to the singing voice. But this time he did not hear a singing voice…it was instead a rap flow like no other:

I kick lyrics so dope that the brothers call ‘em head spinners
I got the tongue that is outdone anyone from the rising
To the setting of the sun or the moon

I consume the room with doom
When I hear the kick of a 808 bass poom
Boom, bam, God, daym
I’m hittin’ so hard you could say it’s a grand, slam, dunk, punks
Get broken off for chunk when they feel the funk

Of the rhythm fresh that I give ‘em
Let it hit ‘em, split ‘em, did it now I’m rid of ‘em, yeah
I put that on my unborn kids
Afro in effect so you know how it is

I rock rough and stuff with my Afro Puffs

He followed the rap sounds and soon found the bush the Queen had disappeared into just days ago. He proceeded to separate the bush with his hands. To his astonishment he saw a big hole in the ground, remembering the words of the Queen and in the most shrillest of voices the Prince yelled out “Afro…let up your hair.”

Instantly, at least almost instantly the rapping stops and the hole is filled with hair, hair so vibrant and tough that it made Rage’s Afro Puffs look like cotton buds. The prince instinctively jumped on the hair and began climbing down to the bottom of the hole. He gets to the bottom and sees the most beautiful booty face in the world. The prince is mesmerized by her beauty and impressed by the neatness of the cave, it is orderly and filled with books, mathematics, physics and chemistry, Lolovita Kingdom History part 1,2 and 3 and the classic How The Kanekelon Lost Their Hair.

Afro is startled, “who are you?” she asks almost stumbling on her own hair.

The prince tells her about the mysterious singing voice in the ground that he heard several days ago and the Queen entering the bushes and her rejuvenated and glowing hair. He also tells her about the song “if you ask me…nah who I go ask?” he wants to know about the matter wey dey for ground.

Afro begins telling the Prince about how she was kidnapped and forced to live in the hole for years. About how the Queen uses her hair’s healing power to keep her own hair young and healthy so that she could apply as much relaxer as possible without damaging it. Finally with tears in her eyes…Afro asked the Prince if he could get her out of the hole.

The Prince was touched by her beauty and the honesty in her voice and greatly felt for her.

But sadly he was not superman…he could not leap tall trees in one bound, he was not faster than a flying mosquito and he was not more powerful than a speeding squirrel…and his Kyrptonite, well he had no kryptonite per se but he was afraid of fighting. He was just a Prince that loved music and books. This plus the fact that the only way out of the hole was someone climbing Afro’s hair made the Afro hole rescue mission impossible…

They were both sad…but the prince promised to return. And he did many times, visiting her and keeping her company careful not to run into the Queen…so he came late at night and left in the morning before the sun had come out.

They talked about books Physics, Lolovita History and did what people their age would do. He showed her his Goodie bag and she showed him her selling point. They fell in love, but their love was limited and trapped in the bowels of the earth!

THE GREAT ESCAPE PLAN … ON PAPER

They say love can make men do crazy things…well it can also make them do smart things…

One day while walking around the kingdom sad to be away from the love of his life. The prince noticed some people braiding hair. It was a twist twist pull action and repeated often enough…a long braid was formed.

So long that when you looked at it, it looked like a piece of rope…a rope?

What if he could braid Afro’s hair? It was magical, so the braids would be strong and her hair was huge so the braid will be long…like a rope. They could even conceal the braid in Afro’s hair until they had braided hair long enough to escape from the hole. All they needed was a single braid.

Brilliant! For the Prince was quite brilliant =D

That night the Prince rushed into the hole, almost forgetting to say Afro let up your hair and almost crashing to the floor of the cave. He was excited…he had an escape plan that did not require super powers. For the next few days, he would go down the hole and braid Afro’s hair. Just one single braid!

It was tough work, but the Prince was determined to make it work, he would use a comb to part the hair and line the twists before looping it around and repeating the process again. Often times he would get shocked in the process from the comb’s static electricity that was created from combing Afro’s hair and other times his fingers bleed from the sheer toughness of Afro’s hair, but he was determined…he would braid in the night till late in the morning over and over again.

Soon after many days of finger bleeding, inadvertent hair shocking…the single braid was complete. It was a long braid, long enough and strong enough to climb and escape the hole. They were both excited, after weeks of imprisonment, they could now escape.

They both agreed to execute their plan the following night when they would both be well rested.

The Prince kissed Afro farewell and began climbing her hair out of the hole, he was excited, so excited that he did not notice a strange figure above him…until…boom!

It was the Queen’s evil face and patchy hair, the prince was so startled that he came tumbling down slamming his head on the floor and passing out from shock plus the impact. Afro knew something was wrong…and could already feel the Queen coming down her hair…she instinctively grabbed a stray piece of metal shard and began to fervently cut out the single braid. But it was too late…the Queen had already seen the rope…I mean braid.

THE SHOCKING TRUTH

Throwing the braid and metal shard down, Afro starred at the hopelessness of her situation. So close to escape, but now so far. The Queen stood in front of her furious with her shadow over the prince, who lay there unconscious.

“How dare you break our deal!” the Queen said furiously, almost popping a nerve.

“I am sorry” Afro responded. “please forgive me and spare the Prince’s life and I will never try to escape again…I promise.”

The Queen is uninterested, instead she searched the cave looking for something…

Afro has no idea what, but then she sees the shine almost instinctively she knows what the Queen is looking for … It’s the metal shard she just used to cut the braid…it now looks more like a weapon…a knife to be precise, the Queen lunges forward to grab it and almost simultaneously, Afro jumps over the Prince to protect him from the impending stab. The Queen grabs the knife over her head and…the strangest thing happens…

The Queen suddenly freezes…trembling all over. Her hair spikes up….even the fake weave…then she winds her hips like a this…Like a that…Like a this…Like a that…and to her right and to her front…with her yansh to the back!

“What is going on?” Afro thinks to herself. Teeth clattering…trembling all over…it must be the Skelewu dance! But why?

“STATIC ELECTRICITY,” Afro yells as the Queen falls to the ground in a frozen heap.

The metal shard must have become charged during the back and forth cutting of her hair, the charge was so much that it literarily shocked the Queen to Skelewu and then death!

Afro now lay over the Prince, holding him. But he was still motionless. She shook him, gave him CPR, slapped him, even kissed him disney style…but still he did not move. He just lay there lifeless.

Afro begins crying…scattering her hair in anguish in acceptance of her inevitable faith and unenviable position. The Queen was dead…but sadly so was the Prince…and worse still she was still trapped in the hole…possibly forever…

She caressed the prince gently with her fingers and then it happened. A spark and then another…the prince shuddered.

Could it be…she placed both hands on his chest and like a defibrillator it shocked the Prince. She repeated it again and again shocking the Prince with her now electrically charged hands. After what seemed like a dozen or so shocks, the Prince suddenly jumped off the ground….alive! And in front of him was Afro in all her beauty…shocking him…

The Prince was alive! They smiled and shared a long kiss….grabbing the now stray piece of braided hair rope in their hands, their path to escape….their path to freedom.

At the end of the day Afro’s hair was truly magical…it killed the Queen and saved the Prince. They both escaped the hole and lived happily ever after…Actually not happily all the time…but most times they were happy, except when the Prince snored or Afro accidentally shocked him in bed…but for the most part they lived happily ever after in Lolovita land!

THE END

Ofilispeaks

Ofilispeaks

Okechukwu Ofili is the author of 3.5 books and writes political satire for the BBC/RNW What’s Up Africa show. He is also the founder of okadabooks.com and blogs daily at ofilispeaks.com.

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