I don’t know why men at the top, whether married or not, ugly or fine, are always objects of their subordinates’ affection.
For this discussion, I’ll be concentrating on the boss who is still single. If you’re here looking for reasons why you should not have an affair with your married boss, this is not for you, mbok. If your conscience does not bite you, that you need to read an article on how to stop you from following someone’s husband, your case should be taken to the national conference.
So back when I was still single, I used to have this constant fantasy of dating my future boss, whoever he was. Of course, in my fantasy he was fine, loaded and was good in bed. I imagined the times he would call me into his office and we would have steamy quickies and I’ll walk out without anyone knowing what happened. And then someday, when the relationship got serious, we’d announce to everyone that we were engaged and all my colleagues would have this newly-found respected for me.
*sigh* Years later and what happened to my fantasy? I grew up. And entered a real work environment and saw that things were not as I had imagined. That’s not to say I hadn’t met good bosses that were worth my time. I have but I ran away from them like they were diseased.
But sadly, some people are still like the former me. They enter an organization and their greedy eyes want the biggest meat in the office. Their mentality is ‘if you wan chop frog, kukuma chop the one wey get belle’. Not that I’m saying that relationships like that don’t work; some of them have. But you need to go ask such people how it went down and they’ll tell you the dynamics were a lot different from the ones you find in normal relationships.
My advice to you if you’re thinking of towing that line, is DON’T!
And this is why.
- It is unprofessional. When you were applying for the job was it part of the job description for you to go into a relationship with your boss? You went there to work, not to get hot in the pants for your superior. Be professional. Face your duties and never mix business with pleasure.
- Your co-workers will beef you. And you don’t want that. When your boss starts to show you special treatment, it sets you as a target for general hatred. Even if you are secretive about the affair, it will show and you’ll become the object of gossip. People will begin to wonder how you got the job in the first place and will doubt your capabilities in your duties.
- What if you break up? What happens after that? Maybe you’re lucky and your boss is a mature guy and lets you go without a fuss. But what if he’s not that mature? What if you hurt him so bad he gets bitter and fires you or starts to give you a hard time in the office over the littlest things? Or maybe he puts in a bad word for you somewhere that matters. Please, avoid all that stress.
- Still on the break up. Let’s say it went smoothly. Are you still going to be comfortable being around him, considering all the affection you once shared? And what if you see him with another person in your office, how would you carry on that way and face your duties with efficiency?
- Your boyfriend or your boss? At home, he’s your bobo, your baby, your boo. In fact, you are the boss at home but at work it’s a different ballgame and many times he has to put the company before you. In short, to throw off suspicions he might do this to the extreme. Can you handle that?
- What happens during a lovers’ quarrel? Does it spill over to the workplace? Would you be able to concentrate on your duties being in the same space as he is and not feel the heat of all that pent up anger from home?
- What about a promotion or a raise? Chances are he may consider another person ahead of you even if you deserve it, his reasons being that he would not want anyone thinking he was showing you favoritsm. Are you ready to fight harder for what you truly deserve in the work environment just because your man wants to protect his own work ethic?
- Office policies. Almost all organizations have rules barring inter-office relationships, therefore you most likely are breaking a rule by becoming your boss’ girlfriend. You don’t want to do this and get yourself into any type of trouble.
- The boredom of it all. You are with each other at work and with each other outside work. It’s like you’re married but not yet, being that you’re spending most of your hours together. After a while, this could choke you and you both may start looking for spice in your relationship. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone you see after work hours and someone you spend weekends with so that such moments are really treasured?
No particular situation has all the answers to a perfect relationship. Even with all I wrote above, you could have something beautiful, uncomplicated and lasting in the end. But why take the risk and lose your good job for something you are not guaranteed will turn out well?
Be professional and stay focused.
Wish you the best in your endeavors!