Real Men or Real Cheats by @degreatest2

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I was on my Facebook page sometimes ago and I saw a friend’s update; here is what it says.


“I don’t care how alarming the percentage of cheating men is….I know of a truth that I’m marrying one of the faithful ones left! most def! I mean pple should stop this mess**smh** There are still some real men around!”


From religious or motivational angle, some people would say the above statement is a positive confession, They would argue that there is power in positive thinking and positive statement; while some would regard it as mere wishful thinking; something that is not realistic in our real world, simply because all men cheat according to most women I have come across. Sometime ago, I was discussing this topic with a blogger friend of mine who usually rants about lots of issues, ranging from men, daily encounters and relationships.


She was serving in Bayelsa state and was having the usual evening gist with her fellow corps members, when their discussion veered towards availability of faithful men. She told me the general consensus among her female friends who were part of that discussion was that, faithful men had gone into extinction and a woman can only manage whoever she chooses to be with, and as long as the man respects the woman by not flaunting his affairs in her face, she couldn’t wish for a better partner. A male corps member in their midst also believed that women should not fight their cheating partners, but pray for them a lot, pamper them, make their body available to them, and subtly correct them till they change. In other words, a woman should remain submissive until the man sees the error in his ways and stops cheating, but my friend didn’t agree with them, according to her, she wasn’t someone to prepare herself for a lifetime of unfaithfulness and undue submission to any man. Her opinion was, as a good girl with good morals and values, she deserved a better man and would not settle for less; she was convinced that after being born and brought up in love, she expected nothing less from her spouse than what she has to give. She cited the example of her dad who had been married to her mum for 25 years but still calls her his girlfriend, kisses her in public, helps out in the kitchen, not ashamed to declare his love for her anywhere, and to her knowledge, never had an extra-marital affair.


For me, I have met single ladies, who claimed to be so sure their partners cheat on them but they believe that ‘good’ men are scarce to come by; therefore must stay and fight to retain the one they’ve got, they believe it is timid and absurd to leave a guy just because he cheats with a random girl. I also know of ladies who would go ahead to date men who they know for sure are in one relationship or even two, they have no problem in being the other girlfriend for the time being; they seem to believe that no guy is absolutely single, and a woman has to dislodge another woman to become the preferred partner. Most times, ladies who claim their boyfriends cheat on them, equally have some guy by the side; a back-up plan maybe, but the truth is, the cheating cycle continues where men cheat on women with other women, and vice versa.


Do not get me wrong, I believe there are honest men and women out there. I have seen them, I have come across few of them but their population grows thinner each passing day. Young people especially in this clime now date and marry for the wrong reason(s); a typical young guy who is averagely successful would prefer that lady who is prettier but over whom he has to fight off other guys and endlessly impress, to the one who is not as pretty and over whom he does not have to fight off anyone. Young people these days tend to choose whom they want to be with solely on things they could see; money, beauty, influence, abs, height and skin colour. We want to date just anybody and somehow change them exactly to who we want.


When it comes to cheating, love or beauty might not just be enough deterrent for a man, maybe a deep sense of commitment or purpose. But the question is, do ladies even give us a chance, do they encourage us not to cheat, do they think we can be with just one woman for the rest of our lives? I have heard women say ALL men MUST cheat because we are polygamous in nature, so I am here thinking, even if the man does not want to cheat or he is not cheating, women will still think he is, so whatever a man does, he is guilty as charged. But my questions really are:


1. Are there truly real men or real cheats?


2. Is it true that men are polygamists in nature?


3. Do our women encourage us to be faithful/unfaithful?


4. When men cheat, who do they cheat with, fellow men or other women who want/wish to be with faithful men?


5. The above Facebook post – is it positive thinking, statement of faith, statement of fact or mere fantasy? Over to you ladies…

Christopher Bamidele

Christopher Bamidele

Chris Bamidele is a passionate and unapologetic Nigerian; an amateur writer and aspiring TV director who holds a first degree in Mass Communication, but majored in Radio and TV Broadcasting. He is cool headed, a realist, and an optimist to the core. Chris Bamidele blogs African stories on and tweets @degreatest2. He currently lives in Lagos.


  1. Wow, this is really lovely. I believe there are truly real men. Looking forward to more articles from u. Once again,welldone.

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