How To Spot A Bitter Ex by @tomilola_coco

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I am not a fan of being friends with your exes or even keeping them close. Call me a child or whatever but I believe the feelings you have for your exes never really go away and even if it did, you would still have a soft spot for this person anytime they come around.

Unfortunately, some men refuse to believe this and they don’t see any reason why they should allow the ex close or even be the first number on her speed dial during an emergency.

What some of these men don’t realize, is that some exes actually use this to spite the woman in the man’s life. Now, this doesn’t happen all the time but it sometimes does and it is not always pretty when it happens. It becomes messy and terrible and leaves a bad taste in your mouth like a poorly made Nollywood movie.

An ex who is a pain in the ass is usually one or all of these things.

  1. She has no respect whatsoever for boundaries. So she shows up at his when y’all are together or she calls whenever she suspects you would be together or she just simply always shows up. whenever this happens, two things have to be done. One of those things include having a very long and meaningful talk with your man about this woman who has become a pest and the second is a decision that will stem from the discussion you have had. So depending on how your man takes your conversation with him, whatever decision you take next is going to be based on whose side he has decided to pitch his tent.
  2. She is rude. To you and to your relationship. To be honest, an ex shouldn’t even feature in your relationship this much. But the honest truth is that these things happen. And if you have a boyfriend’s ex who is simply rude because of God knows what reason, then you have to put her in her place and tell your man to ensure she stays away.
  3. She is always all up in your business. Sometimes this comes off as being friendly. She would ask questions, try to be around you a lot while she is always putting her nose in your business, make her stay away. Or rather, make him make her stay away.
  4. She is overly friendly. No crime in her trying to be friendly but when friendly is a bit too much, then maybe friendly needs to be checked. I am not bitter, but I certainly won’t be the fan of any of my ex’s girlfriends. I mean why? Why would I call them to check up on them or to ask them to go shopping? Why would I ask for a girl’s hangout or a visit to the Spa/salon together? Why? Maybe because I am trying to get some sort of information out of her to use against her and the relationship? Or maybe I am trying to get time alone so I can strangle her and have the man back? When she is too friendly, something is up and you need to politely make her stay away.


The presence of your man’s ex in your relationship is largely due to how much your man allows her close. If she is making you uncomfortable or posing a threat, then let him know and if he doesn’t see why you are being dramatic, then let him go.

They deserve each other.



Content Writer|Screenwriter|Coke Addict|Feminist|Amala Activist|Future Hero. Twitter&Instagram @Tomilola_coco

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