How To Kiss: 10 Things You Do That Make You A Terrible Kisser

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Kissing is not what we think it is. It is not an intimation of sex. Kissing is not supposed to be a step to what happens next in the bedroom like most people imagine. Kissing is an alternate language; like a second language for lovers where they tease, connect and discover an accord. A good kiss expresses those feelings that lovers can share only indirectly; passing a silent message across that words can’t describe. To understand how to kiss passionately and be good at it, we have to first know the things we should not do that will make kissing a terrible experience. These are 10 things you do that make you a bad kisser:


1. Jumping the gun: it is always better if both of you want the kiss. If she doesn’t want it and you just assumed that she does, you’ll come off as a terrible kisser as she will be stiff and very impassive, making you look bad. Make sure she wants the kiss just as much as you do. Study her eyes, her lips and be sure it is not just your hormone playing tricks on you. If you are not sure, ask if you can steal a kiss. Better than the akward silence that will follow after your “terrible” kiss.


2. Bad breath: let us all be sincere, no one likes talking to someone with bad breathe or have them breathing down your neck much less sharing a kiss with them. No matter how perfect you are in kissing, bad breath is a total turn-off. Apart from brushing regularly, invest in a good mouthwash and also have a pack of healthy minty chewing gum with you; you never can know when they will come in handy.


3. Excessive french kissing: this is a common mistake most people make. They confuse passion with penetration, therefore they over-use the tongue. Their tongue is everywhere; in your mouth, on your tongue, running over your teeth. They could have as well strangled you as you feel choked. Slow and steady wins the race, remember.


4. Kissing with too much spit in your mouth: the sight of saliva all over your partner’s face is just disgusting. Rather than enjoying the kiss, he will be much more concerned about the saliva you are painting his face with. Wet is good, yeah but slobering is terrible! Swallow excessive spit in your mouth at intervals and when you know your lips are dry, take a break and start all over.


5. Taking off clothes within seconds: what’s the rush? Some people believe kissing should be the hint you need to know that he wants to get down with you. Kissing is far more intimate and erotic than sex. It says a whole lot of things without speaking. If you are of the school of thought that kissing intimates sex, you should really go back and learn what kissing is about. Enjoy your partner’s mouth and take your time. No need tearing off clothes like a dog in heat.


6. Vampire Traits?: when one uses too much teeth . Instead of nibbling softly, he/she bites so hard that your lips are swollen after the whole thing. Some even have their lips injured. It is not suya, it is the human lips. Softly does it all the time.


7. Kissing not Teething: he/she forgets the lips and constantly bumps your teeth with theirs. It is not only aakward having teeth clash together, it is very uncool. Stop it, before you chip a tooth.


8. Sucking on the tongue: the idea is to play with the tongue and not suck on it like it is your favourite candy. It can be really painful and takes out the passion. The other person becomes self conscious and is no longer feeling it.


9. Face guzzling: placing tiny, feathery kisses all over the face can be really cute and romantic. It is even more erotic when there are just the lightlest nibbles involved like you can rarely feel the the teeth digging into your flesh but you are properly turned on by the light nibbles and kisses. When you are all over the face with wet tongue, that’s not it. That’s what a puppy will do to its owner. Licking the face and leaving saliva all over is just gross.


10. Swallowing the lips: this one is funny and disgusting too. They open their mouth and take your lips; both bottom and upper lips in their mouth at once. Just imagine someone sucking on orange with all their might, exactly what this is like. Except your aim is to have their lunch as dinner, do not do this!!

Alice Temitope Dako

Alice Temitope Dako

A passionate reader, a photographer of thoughts and an ardent book collector. A nerd in love with the world built by words...


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