#DamiBants: Women, Do You Want a Bad Boy or Are You Miss Fix It?

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Women, Do You Want a Bad Boy or Are You Miss Fix It?

I was having a conversation with a group recently and majority of the men insisted that women love bad boys. They were certain that women are only attracted to men with flawed characters. This brought many questions to my mind, chief of which was, “Do all women want a bad boy?” NO.

A bad boy to me is defined as a seriously problem-ridden man, including the beater, the cheater, the immature, the string-alonger, the gold digger, the sex addict and so on.

Women who need bad boys have an issue I termed the fix it syndrome. They enjoy buying scrap and turning it into a machine that never falls apart. They live for the credit of being the greatest fixer in the world; when they’re not Olivia Pope.

Such a woman will see a serial cheater and still go ahead to date him, expecting the love she has for him or showers on him to change him for the better. Another one will date an alcoholic and rather than get him to seek professional help they will believe love will make him put down the bottle. Is this a relationship or a full time job with no pay?

Others will ask, “What if you truly change him?” Change comes from within. He isn’t going to change because you love him so much. He will change because he loves you and doesn’t want to lose you. He has to need you enough to change a bad habit. In return, you cannot pamper a bad boy. A bad boy needs a stern woman; someone who will handle him with hard hands and care. And even at that, not all of them respond. Is that a bargain you are willing to make?

Personally, I want a great relationship. It doesn’t have to be perfect but it doesn’t have to spell doom from the start. I want to work on things not become a mechanic. The attention the fix it syndrome doles out is one I also need in my life… do I look like Iyanla?

Women need that mix in life. They need to find a man that has a good balance. It is always better if he tips towards good more than bad though. The only “bad trait” women need from a good man is awesome, mind-blowing, no hold-barred, unadulterated sex. That will make you happy when some things make you sad.

Take a cue from those who have relationships with less stress and less drama. You do not want to go into something that will nearly or quite possibly kill you. The heartbreak you will suffer from loving a man you failed to change for the better is worse than the normal heartbreak… the pain is double. You will blame yourself for failing to change him while you stew in the realisation that he did not love you as much as you thought he did.

Save yourself the pain. Leave the bad boys and choose a good man today!

You can Follow DAMI on twitter: @AVARIBERRY for #DamiBants; Every Thursday at 8PM.

Dami Elebe

Dami Elebe

Radio Personality on The Beat 99.9 FM and Writer. Sharing opinions is a full time job. There is pleasure in letting people into your mind, fearlessly. Welcome to my unorthodox life filled with opinions. After all an opinion is like an armpit, everyone has them and most of them stink… mine sure will make you question yours.

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