Nigerians have to be the most occupied people. We are occupied with a whole lot of things ranging from how to make money, how to take care of ourselves and our families, how to pay NEPA/PHCN/EDC/whatever-it-is-those-power-guys-who-never-give-us-the-power-we-pay-for-call-themselves-these-days’ bills, worrying about insecurity because our government simply don’t care if we drop like flies and die by the thousands everyday and hoping our president realizes that he needs to freaking do something about the state of the nation, something that doesn’t include donning his favourite cap and attire and attending/hosting expensive luncheons and events while the nation is threatening to fall apart.
We are occupied with all these things in our everyday lives that the smallest and minutest things happen to use and we just don’t notice. Our personal lives sometimes threatens to fall apart in the middle of all the chaos going on around us and we don’t even have a clue, sometimes our relationships hit the rocks before we actually come to the realization that something has been wrong all along.
This is not our fault, it is a blame meant for the things going on around us that we cannot even apportion responsibility to.
However, we can have in mind that if any of these few signs are happening in our relationships, then we are facing an imminent shipwreck.
There is more silence than a graveyard- at the beginning of every normal relationship, there is laughter and plenty laughter and plenty, plenty laughter. You both laugh at everything and sometimes, at each other. spending time together beats your pastimes and nothing else in the world matters than your partner’s dry jokes.
When this laughter that accompanies your relationship gives way to the silence that now plagues it every now and then, something is wrong or about to be wrong. The moment lack of communication becomes a huge part of any relationship, it means there is trouble.
You are beginning to take your partner for granted- the thank yous have vanished and now replaced with a “isn’t it your responsibility” look or statement. You have now started to believe that no matter the BS you toss this person’s way, they will stay forever while you remain an unfeeling bitch/jerk.
Let me tell you one truth, you see, someone who truly loves you will certainly take your bs and crap but the truth is when this becomes a constant and you don’t care what they feel when you do these terrible things to them, they will begin to draw far away from you, until they actually decide they have had enough and leave.
So ask yourself, are you becoming an unfeeling SOB? Or DOB (Yes, I meant daughter of a bitch. Whatever that means)
You stopped having fun a long time ago- when you look back, you realize it has been ages since you both did something for fun. In the beginning, this used to be often, nowadays you realize it hardly ever happens. Find time to make fun happen again, go for a vacation, visit places you have never been or haven’t been in a long time, do something silly and naughty. Just do things that will make you both feel alive again, it will bring the sparks back.
You don’t express your feelings- yes you love him, yes you love her, but pray tell, when was the last time you told him/her how you truly feel? He or she knows, so what? There is nothing bad in letting your partner know every once in a while that they make your world go round, they make you smile and you love them to the moon and back.
And even when they piss you off, let them know it. As much as people like to hold this one in because they want to be understanding and don’t want to nag about every single feeling they feel, sometimes, it is just healthy to let the other person know the things that they do that hurt you because bottling it all in is very dangerous. One day it will explode and the result aint gon be pretty, I tell ya.