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Sometimes friends with benefits are the best for a situation, Yeah, I have had reasons from “I don’t need the wahala of a relationship” to  “It is just easier jare” to “There is no pressure” to “It is fun”

Well, to each his own. Everyone has a reason for the things they do, including sharing their private parts with their friends (except they aren’t exactly friends cos when sex comes into it, it ruins everything) and ruining friendships that could actually mean the world.

I am not a saint, I have done this before and needless I say that it was a huge disaster? Like disaster worse than a freaking train wreck? In fact, there is a certain he that I don’t speak to anymore because in all our wisdom we turned F to FWB and gbam! The whole friendship crashed like the Jonathan’s regime.

Let me list why it is better to let the friendship be without private part benefits. Please you are free to disagree with me, after all I am not god in these things.

-It ruins friendships: That friendship might have a bright future but believe me, once your P starts entering her P or vice versa, depending on you people’s favourite style, you are more likely going to be about this senseless relationship than the friendship that brought you people together in the first place and believe it or not, this person wont be the first you would call for any situation. It is simple, he or she services you nothing more…at least not anymore.

-You have never and would never go on real dates: Which I think for girls really matters. We might be cooling off our hearts by working just the Vee meanwhile, but the truth is, we all want that moment when we are made to feel very special. The moment where our Vee isn’t what matters but our hearts, our aspirations, our purpose. Real dates ensures that you both talk about that and understand each other more. But when all the relationship is based on is the benefits you both can give each other, this would never happen.

-You don’t want to date each other: Then why in God’s name is it still going on? Ah!

-When “the one” comes along it would pain you die. Whether or not you are a man or woman with emotions, forget, when the real person this your friend with benefits is feeling comes along, you would feel used and you would fade away faster than some people’s common sense (I refuse to mention names, leave me).

-You cannot take this person to important family events or any event whatsoever: Because they aren’t exactly your friend and it has not become socially or “familyly” acceptable to introduce someone as your FWB or PITFB (Partners in the fucking business. Word created by me, feel free to use)

-When the deed is done, the deed is done! See after rolling in the sheets, making each other moan like there is no tomorrow, getting so exhausted your legs cant stand anymore, that is all! You both get dressed and return to wherever you came from and if you are the one who was invited over, you get out and go to your house. Hopefully you have a car and don’t have to walk the streets of whatever city you are in to your house. If you ask me, pretty much messed up situation and to what end?

-This friend with benefit person, is probably giving out the benefits to ten other people too. And who are you to complain? I mean you don’t own the goods or the owner of the goods.



Content Writer|Screenwriter|Coke Addict|Feminist|Amala Activist|Future Hero. Twitter&Instagram @Tomilola_coco


  1. Tomilola you have written about FWB from a bias perspective. Everyfin has a bad side even dating or marriage…
    I’m not convinced I shouldn’t do this cos I’m on the verge of entering into one as we speak…. At least its meets a certain need without having to be commited or ‘tied down’

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