Being In a Verbally Abusive Relationship

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Anytime I write a blog I try and write from experience and give you the wisdom and knowledge that comes from that experience, when I write to you I am writing as someone that knows and has gone through it myself.  Unfortunately like many men and women around the world, I was in a verbally abusive relationship.

 

What is a verbal abuse? Verbal abuse is non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant monitoring or “checking in,” excessive texting, humiliation, intimidation, or isolation. Why did I allow myself to be with a man that verbal abused me? I honestly thought he could change, that if I showed how much I loved and cared for him, and how much he was hurting me, himself and especially this relationship he would changed but he never did.The relationship was affecting me mentally (thinking I wasn’t good enough) physically (losing weight up and down due to the stress) and spiritually (questioning why God would put such a man in my life and why was it so hard for me to leave him). In all my past relationships, I had never encountered being with someone that was abusive, when I met my ex-boyfriend, it was as if I had hit the JackPot! He came from a good family, had a good paying job, was handsome, nice car, “claimed” to be a God-fearing person, and was just about everything that I thought I wanted in a man and lifetime partner. (Later on I would find out I was wrong) I fell in love. Can you blame me? It wasn’t until 2 months into dating that things started to change, he began calling me names and saying the most horrible things you can say to a person, kicked me out of his house on two different occasions. I was confused and shocked. I told myself I couldn’t allow myself to be treated this way and would leave. But my ex the next day would be this charming, sweet guy that I couldn’t resist and I would go back to him. (I was too weak) I began telling my friends and they would tell me to stay away from him, it sounded easy, but it was too hard because I thought he could changed if we just worked out our problems. During our relationship I began to realize that my ex was an insecure man, when he was younger, he dated and fell in love with a woman for 4 years that broke his heart and he vowed he wouldn’t let it happen again. He brought the negativity from his past into our relationship. it wasn’t me, but him. I knew I was a good woman but it was him not being a good man.


Signs of being in a Emotional/Verbal Abusive Relationship 

  • Calling you names and putting you down.
  • Yelling and screaming at you.
  • Intentionally embarrassing you in public.
  • Preventing you from seeing or talking with friends and family.
  • Telling you what to do and wear.
  • Using online communities or cell phones to control, intimidate or humiliate you.
  • Blaming your actions for their abusive or unhealthy behavior.
  • Stalking you
  • Threatening to harm you, your pet or people you care about.
  • Making you feel guilty or immature when you don’t consent to sexual activity.
  • Starting rumors about you.
  • Threatening to have your children taken away.


Don’t think that just because your partner has never laid a hand on you that everything is okay, physical abuse and verbal abuse are the same thing, They both makes you think you are worthless or not good enough to be loved (And that is not true). During the relationship I questioned myself and God, I was angry that God put a man like that in my life and for some reason I couldn’t leave. I prayed and asked God to help me and to find the strength to leave and not care anymore, and HE did. I finally had the strength I needed mentally, physically and spiritually to leave. I was so angry that I wasted my time with a man I knew God didn’t plan for me to be with, but with self-reflection and mediating I now realized that God put my ex in my life to show what I don’t want, how a man shouldn’t treat me, and to realize my self-worth. It was a long process but I now realized why things happened the way it did. I’m now stronger from my experience and because of that my head is held high.


NO ONE DESERVES to be physically, emotionally, or verbally abused, if you know someone that is. Please send them this article or email me, Abuse is abuse. Some might read this article and call me foolish or stupid, but I say if you have never been in an abusive relationship it’s a different story, I hope my article was helpful to those that are going through it and to those that know someone in an abusive relationship.

Find me on Twitter @missalldaabove or Instagram @sixfootamazon or email me at imokwuah@gmail.com if you need to talk. God Bless

Ifunanya's Piece Of Mind

Ifunanya's Piece Of Mind

Nigerian Blood, American born. P.Square warned you in 2007 about me, well now I'm here and have no plans on leaving. I'm a sweetheart, music junkie, hopeless romantic, a sister, a friend but most importantly a chick with a whole lot to say. I'm letting everything out of the bag from the point of view I know best, my own!! From sex to relationships to music to whatever I'm feeling at that given moment. Nothing and no one is safe! On Saturdays you can find me talking with your favorite African celebrities, discussing juicy topics and playing the hottest tracks on www.udrradio.com. My mother always said if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. Well I do, welcome to my mind. Follow me on Twitter @Missalldaabove and Instagram @sixfootamazon

8 comments

  1. Yhu ve inspired me.I am sooo touched,surely yhur piece will go a long way to heal wounds caused by verbally abusive relationship.#hugs#

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