Marriage According To Nigerian Twitter

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Welcome to Nigerian twitter, where there’s a different perspective to almost everything. Let’s talk about marriage. What is the definition of marriage to a Nigerian lady? Most of these ladies see marriage as a ‘no-go area’. Others just want to pass that bridge when it comes and they’re mostly uninterested about it. But on Nigerian twitter (where it’s a regular topic of discussion), marriage means a lot to the average lady. Now this is what they think, or most think.

  • The man must pay for everything – Of course now, your work is basically to be a madam. Whether you have a job or not, the man must pay for everything. Your hair, the food, the school fees, the rent, every little thing. All you have to do is spend the money wisely and come back asking for more when it’s spent.
  • The husband must help with house chores – He’s probably not working on a Saturday, and he’s home sitting reading a newspaper or watching a sports channel. She’s doing the cleaning of the house and floors. It is believed that he should join her in doing house chores. In defense, “he’s not doing anything now, just watching TV and should join in chores.
  • Wives will cook whenever they feel like – Most times, the typical woman suggests that deliveries and eat-outs happen most of the time. She cannot enter the kitchen and cook all the time. This is mostly seen when the said wife works on an 8-4. She believes when she feels like she should cook, like it’s not an option.
  • Wives are not expected to contribute money – Ah ah, mba nu. This one is a lie to most people. The wives are expected to keep their money for their own use and then, collect from their husband whenever. So quick question to the ladies, what do you use all that money for?
  • Husband must learn how to cook/help in the kitchen – Most times, the excuse here is pregnancy issues. Women believe the man must cook and help all the time. Some even go the extra mile that the husbands should cook food (still very visible when said woman is a 8-4 person)
  • Its E! and Big Brother First – There’s a big football game on Thursday and E! Is having a style special on the Kardashian new collection. E! Comes first of course. Nobody wants to see 23 full grown men running around a lifeless object.
  • It’s a joint twitter account or nada – So you want those dirty hoe of twitter girls to DM you personally? No, boo. We’re having a joint account with our wedding picture as avatar and the ring as header image. If that doesn’t scare those hoes enough, come and meet me in the DM.
  • No, your mother isn’t coming to spend her holiday – lol! It’s like a sort of tensioning (especially if she’s not pregnant/she’s not from the same tribe or generally the mother doesn’t like her). Then, it’s a war of the titans.
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