Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl – Episode 5 (#LOAUG)

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“Or should we just leave it as Liz and friends?” T-barz continued.

“No ooo, use Lines” Liz objected.

Startled. I shouted “LINES”, the three idiots echoed after me, “Lines”

“Okay Lines it is then but the list isn’t out on paper so it’s our secret till then shey” He mouthed before taking his leave.

“Liz, why nah, you don start o” Liz and friends was better o” I protested.

“Okechukwu and daughters nii” Bola said almost immediately.

“Lines sounds good, we could just change the spelling. you know” Vivian said.

“Sure, nah” Bola added. I couldn’t hide the little joy in my heart.

Liz noticed “eh, eh, see you blushing o, don’t sha let those lines fall from your cheek ooo” she said. They all giggled.

“You all are jealous of them abi, don’t worry I’d take you all to Ibadan, you get even thicker lines from there, nonsense, e go fit your yellow face Viv, mumu, see as she dey laugh” I joked. We caught up on the old gist and Bola gave the ratings of her hostel tour. (All I can say is I no sha carry last)

Funny how fast second semesters always run. Was it not yesterday I was shouting at Bola’s house? Lecture free weeks! I started my exam period jacking – No BIS, photocopying of all handout, completing my notes, reading and reading again. GP gats to swell this session o.

The good thing about times like this is that the whole school is on reading diet. Everybody minds his or her business with his/her book.  So exam came and went like that (you don’t want to be bored with the details). You can trust your girl – did my best, copied the rest. 😉  *If you shake your head ehn, before you start to form holier than thou*

“Flowing gowns, purple or pink” Bola suggested.

“No o, little black dress nah” I argued

“That’s what we wore for the last one nah, have you forgotten?” Liz answered.

We were arguing about what to wear to the faculty dinner and awards night. Bola said we should wear free cloth so we could dance well. Her partner-in-crime concurred. Viv thought we should wear “and-co” like we were going for a funeral party.

“You know what, what if we wear the same colours of different styles or different colours of the same style,” I suggested after about an hour of argument. We finally agreed to do either after about another hour of argument. Oh! I have not given y’all the low-down of the nominees list. We were nominated for three awards, Best female clique of the year amongst, Queen Bees, Ivy League, Beisy Hoffs, Correct babes (whoever those are). The other nominations aren’t exactly “we” as in “us”. They are Bola for most sophisticated female and Viv for model of the year. Anyway na we we we all be (that part better said than read).

At about 10:00pm on the D-day, we set out for the dinner, no crime in being fashionably late since it was going to be an all-night affair. There in the front seat I set die in my ash-coloured ass-tight, lap-revealing, cleavage-covering short dress (at least if you look fresh lap, you go forget face nah). Bola was looking stunning behind the wheel, her silver necklace sitting well on her sexy cleavage on a purple dress, fully concentrating on the road with an “Angelina Jolie in Salt” look and just like every dinner and awards night we attended, it was only the two of us. Viv was off with her boyfriend, Dan while Liz was not with her boyfriend this time, she was going with one Debo guy who she met like a minute ago since her boyfriend was on IT, she had asked her boyfriend and he agreed. He is the carefree type, Birds of a feather.

P.S: I am a writer although I might not be able to tell my story adeptly but I can do that completely and truthfully.




MEET T-LINES for the past 13weeks or more you have been reading the escapades and sexcapades of Tolani Gbadamosi popularly known as Lines. Somehow, someway, somewhere in your hearts resonante some sort of emotion albeit love hate, pity and even happiness and i am glad that you have taken this series very seriously and read religiously week in and week out. Now is the time y’all finally meet me. I am Gbadamosi Tolani, a character created by writer Oluwabi Mobolaji,who is a reader’s writer and a writer’s reader and yes I am a guy….. scratch that I am a man before you start with your after thoughts. Surprised ehn. Catch me as I blog irregularly on .follow me on twitter @embijay and keep with the hashtag #loaug while you enjoy the rest of your favorite series. Ciao


  1. Shadow, dashingfabulous and follygold (regulars), I love you.
    Funke and oluwatosin, I am glad you like it.
    Dammy and Femi, I’d pass your message
    All in all, thanx a lot and please keep your comments coming in. Don’t forget to share using the hashtag #LOAUG

  2. Hey tee(lines), name’s bayo. I really wanna know you on a personal. More like buddies level. I errrm…maybe I should just stop here. I hope you reply this. Handle:@bibieswagz
    P.S: I wrote this like 4 times cuz I wanted it to be perfect.

  3. Steezy, check my profile, click on the email. Send me a mail. Let see what happens
    Jasmine, thanx a lot
    Dots, u want to make my lines peel ofF abi * blushing*
    Thanx all. Share using the hashtag #loaug

  4. Ok this episode wasn’t really thrilling. I suspect something big will happen in the next one. Or do I need to read this all over again?

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