10 Things Men Should NEVER Do In Public

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To put together this list, I looked at the nastiest, most off-putting stuff we do in public that has the potential to alienate women and, really, anyone within two feet. Of course, peeing your pants or doing one worse are a given. Instead, this list focuses on everything from having a public domestic argument with your girlfriend to puking in plain sight of a crowd.

Curious about what things you should avoid in public? Check it out top 10 things guys shouldn’t do in public.

10. Admire yourself in the mirror

Don’t be that guy that is so fixated with himself that it is bordering on lust. The type that can not go pass his reflection on a window, or any surface without taking a moment to admire himself. The bar narcissist who fixates on his James Bond poses in the mirror before, during and after he talks to a woman is equally funny and disturbing. By all means, check the mirror to make sure you haven’t got kuli kuli between your teeth or a stream of some yucky catarrh in your nostril, but if you can’t get enough of yourself in the mirror, chances are other people quickly will.

9. Pick yourself

Nose-picker-149You see it all the time: the guy in the parked car next to you picking his nose as if he’s trying to grab a coin that’s just out of reach, or the dude poking his ear like he wants to pull out enough wax to make a candle or the guy at the urinal driving a finger into his ass like he’s trying to read his own temperature. Sure, we all get itches, but satisfying some of them in public can spell more harm than relief, and is just one of those things guys shouldn’t do in public — ever.

PS. Don’t feel you are being coded. You never are.

 

 

8. Sit with crossed legs

This looks very good with girls, especially when they are wearing the always flawless mini. But as a guy, this is just wrong! True, some guys can pull it off. However, on the wrong pair of legs, what’s intended to express comfort and ease can quickly turn into a uncomfortable (for others) way of sitting. Better to keep your feet on the ground.

7. Blow your nose without a tissue

Blowing your nose with your hand, then wiping it on a stick, or tree bark, or a wall, or…need I say more? It’s just disgusting. Always have a pack of tissues/handkerchief handy, or, if you don’t and have to blow your nose, ask for one from someone nearby. If you feel shy about asking for a tissue, consider that the people around you would no doubt appreciate it more if it will prevent a river of snot from shooting in front of their feet.

6. Scratching

scratchI don’t mean the casual scratching of chin (tugging at the sexy goatee, rather) or scratching the head when thinking. I mean the concentrated rubbing of a spot. Number 1 on this sub item is the scratching of the balls. That thing can never look right. And don’t presume that if you put your hands in your pocket and scratch the jewels that it won’t still be obvious – I learnt that the embarrassing way. Also scratching of butt, armpit, etc a no go. Please. Biko. Dun Allah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Puke

We’ve all had too much to drink and thrown up the contents of our evening, well maybe not all of us but you get the idea. While you may be amazed at your mass of spaghetti, the kunu, the alomo you drank from your homie’s birthday, and foam from two jugs of beer on the ground, the public would rather keep drinking and not see the contents of your stomach. If the room’s spinning out of control, do your best to find a closed bathroom stall to save your evening (and everyone else’s). You’ll not only avoid the humiliation of puking in front of an audience, but if you freshen up your breath and stick to drinking water, you could keep partying (and keep your dignity).

4. Argue with your girlfriend

b0011313tsYou could have a valid reason why you’re arguing with your girlfriend, but everyone around you will only see you one way: as a hothead. And if you’re with other couples at a party, you’ve now cranked up the discomfort by creating an awkward atmosphere for everyone by engaging in this thing guys shouldn’t do in public. By trying to solve your nuclear debates at home with your girlfriend, you’ll help save the public from the negative fallout.

 

 

 

2. Pee conspicuously

pissAs you know, one of the top 10 things only men can do is pee anywhere. However, that doesn’t mean you should. A hidden spot behind a bush or alleyway to relieve yourself works fine (kind of), but if you simply turn your back behind a car thinking you’re hiding yourself, remember there are tons of people in front of you that can still see you clear as day. Plus, no one cares to sidestep a river of piss just to get into his or her car.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Cry

Dele-MomoduYes, it’s a given you might cry at a funeral. However, do you really need to shed a tear at the latest romantic comedy you took your girlfriend to go see? We all get emotional and have our ups and downs, but having empathy doesn’t mean having to turn on the waterworks. If your girlfriend weeps at a movie or while she’s reading, by all means comfort her. However, if you’re also drowning in a pool of tears, it’s going to make it a much harder job. Personally I think any guy that does this should be arrested. As the a philosopher once said, if you’re crying at the movies, it should be better be because the movie is so crappy that you are crying over the wasted money

 

 

 

 

 

King

King

King is a writer and guitarist. He is an opinionated, multi talented individual with love for music and everything it concerns

10 comments

  1. haha, Chris beat me to it.. that pix of dele momodu got me ROTF!!
    well, I sit with ma legs crossed comfortably There’s nothing y’all gon tell me about that.. & don’t even get me started on it being gay

  2. I think this is among the most importrant info for me.
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