Artiste in this article includes but is not limited to musicians, VJ’s and music producers. I now expand the definition to accommodate all those who have careers in the music industry.
You should also know that regardless of how what you are about to read sounds, this is not the fault of the artiste.
Let’s not be unreal and pretend that artistes right now aren’t just so hot. These days, they have it all. The whole package of selling points- to mention a few – good looks, educated, well dressed, charming, well traveled, finances in order, fun to hang with and that lyrical prowess could win a girl over.
1. He would never give you enough time: It is in the nature of an artistes job to keep odd hours -shows, studio sessions and all that are usually at night. This isn’t his fault. At first you think this is okay. But if you’re a girl who works and therefore has to sleep at night to make work in the morning, then you see how this could be a problem. You may hardly ever see your BF (listen to Omotena-Solid Star for more information)
2. You would get called names: See, I dated an artiste. I think I should tell you that for starters. When I met him though, he was simply a guy in University and the music came a little later. However, no one would remember that. You’d be slut, groupie, runs girl. Name it. If you are even a little chummy with his friends (who are likely artistes themselves), eventually, he may call you that himself. Because he heard it so many times and people believe stuff if they hear it enough.
3. You would always come second: when you love an artiste(and trust me, if you date him, you would love him), he becomes very important to you like anybody else you love. First priority in your life and all that. However, you would always come second to the music in his life. The commitment you admire will not translate to you. If it came down to a choice, he will pick the music. Repeatedly.
4. He will be fickle: one of the reasons for this is because you will come second [see (3) above], but there is another reason. Its not often you will come by people with so much drive. It’s not often that you will find Nigerian men who are passionate. Artistes however have passion in abundance. Nothing makes you feel like the the only girl in the world *in Rihanna’s voice* like when you are the entire focus of someone’s passion. However, this wears off easily. You need to be constantly evolving, ever exciting to maintain all that attention. And those are pretty tall shoes to fill. Especially when there’s always a next girl who is new and therefore fresh and exciting.
5. He will have other girls: look at the selling points above. Of couse, there will be other girls. Travelling throught cities and living the lagos night life, gosh, the people he would meet. Blonde girls with tattoos, girls who are in Nigeria for the summer, groupies, everyone would want the piece of that pie. Lets be honest, he would have free pussy thrown at him. Now attach that pussy to fancy girls and at some point, he would be sold. Often, more than once.
6. You will be jealous and paranoid: every girl will start to look like the next girl he could hook up with. Its not his fault that he smiled, talked to and took pictures with fans -as he should – but you will start to wonder who wants a photo and who wants your man(to be honest, a lot of girls would want him, but who would he give?) and you can’t be there at every show. That’s a heck of a lotta strain to put on a relationship. Add that to social media and blogs trying to find the stories
7. He will completely mind-fuck you: In Nigeria, we do not do psychology or therapy. However, you will need it. I saw a girl on twitter have a nervous breakdown, write out her emotions on a blog and then shut down all her social media accounts over one of these guys. You will feel like shit for not being unable to keep his attention[see (5) above], try to change yourself, compete with honest to goodness divas-girls who have it all, go through the worst emotional turmoil and find yourself always needing the kind of attention that he gave.
8. He will not commit to you: if you date and you really love them, then you might day dream of a future together right? DON’T! You could be the first girl or the real love or whatever, but there will be a million girls (or a pregnancy) before he would ever consider commitment. Trust me, you don’t want to stick around 10 years for that.
9. You will be Branded: you might as well have a tramp stamp with his name on it; “x’s gf” “x’s ex” or even “one of those x’s girls” will be whispered sometimes with awe and sometimes in scorn, will affect your future relationships and for some reason, all by itself act as a bad rep. See, when you probably started dating him, he may have told you let’s keep this hush hush – you may not listen cos you’d think he was not proud of you or whatever. But you should have. So that this doesn’t happen.
10. You would not have the space you need to get over him: try getting over someone when everytime you open your timeline and someone will tweet about his song, read the sunday paper and see his face in the entertainment section, go dancing with your girls and his song comes on, driving around with your next then turn on the radio and his voice is there(awKward!). It would be as though you were haunted. People would ask you where’s X, how’s X and I heard you are the girl dating X.
All these and you still wanna date that guy? Well, its not like I listened when they warned me.