#LetterToMyNext “I Want You To Take Me As I Am” by @itsbrill

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Good evening, folks!

It’s still the Letter To My Next series, and today we have @itsbrill in the building.


Dear Next,

As long as I remember, I’ve always loved such names as Kambili, Kimberly and Kenstonia and sincerely boo I would love you to have one of those beautiful names.

I want you to take me as I am boo, my former girlfriends didn’t take me as I am, they always expected more from me, am sure you wouldn’t be like them. I’m a student and you know we students don’t have so much money like Wizkid and Davido and most times we have to struggle to feed, most times we do the 1:0:1 or 0:1:0 ratio (I’sure you understand what I mean).

I can’t afford to take you to the cinema, “I heard that there’s this movie showing next week”, I’m so sorry boo I won’t be able to take you there, but why would we have to go to the cinema when we can wait for Alaba boys to bring it out on CD so that we can buy it at a cheap rate (200 Naira then buy popcorn 50 Naira and watch it for free at home, we can even lie down while watching, can you do that at the cinema?? I’m sure “NO” would be your answer).

While your friends would be at the cinema, we would be chilling at MAMA IYABO’S KITCHEN, which is close to my room, I would ask her to give you a plate of rice and beans (yummy!! I’m sure you would like her food, she is such a good cook, she is the reason why I’m looking fresh). Boo I would want you to be like Tamia (that American singer) telling me to forget diamonds, gold, cars and just bring myself.

Hey boo,  I am not that good looking, I have tribal marks all over my face, all the girls I dated before didn’t really love going out with me, they didn’t tell me though I just figured it out (I know you must be thinking I’m intelligent, yes Boo I AM), I hope you wouldn’t be like those my ex girlfriends, you know they say “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” .

In every relationship there are always fights, but I promise you dear that I would never hit you except when I’m smacking that ass. I would never look down on you except when I’m looking at those cleavage.

Most times when we would be going out, I wouldn’t have enough money for our transportation (you know all these drivers can charge ehn), so I will just lap you, you know it romantic that’s what all these white boys do in Hollywood movies right?

They say “Love cannot be chased, if it is meant for you it would surely come to you” so I will just sit and wait for you to come.

PS: Come from a rich family Please, I’m not saying Bill Gates at least Dangote would do.

– @itsbrill


LOOOOOL! Now that was a letter, folks! Even though I pray, for his own sake, that his Next never reads this.

Keep it coming, folks! Mail in your letters!




Quo non Ascendam. Writer. E-mail: wana@360nobs.com


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