Lamentations Of An Ugly Girl – PROLOGUE (#LOAUG)

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360note: We’ve done things the other way round, by publishing the first episode before the prologue. We present you with the prologue. Read Episode 1 here

Before I start, I’d like us all to agree on some conditions. I did not bring my life out here to be advised or told that “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” shit or “You’re beautiful in your heart” crap – *Abeg, how lady suppose be beautiful in her heart, so guys will be like “guy, check dat girl heart, it’s so beautiful mehn*. In addition, you must know that my life is not a Bond movie so there are days when adrenaline would ooze with caution and there are days when I am more boring than twerking to a bagpipe tune. That being said; fasten your seatbelts people.

I am Gbadamosi Omotolani, 21 years old, chocolate skinned, 5ft 9, almost hourglass figure. You must be imagining one fine Ini-Edo-like girl, wait until I tell you about my face. I am a custodian of the Ibadan culture in the sense that I have three tribal marks on each side of my face. (Keyword thick; thicker than most of these flat screen TVs width). Ok, let me stop for you to throw up. I just did that myself.

Of all four children of my parents, I am the only one with tribal marks; the others don’t even have scars not to mention marks on their faces. Every time I ask my dad the reason for the marks, he always brings up this topic of how I am a true representation of the Ibadan people and I am meant to be identified anywhere I go.

I have tried bleaching, toning, peeling and all other unprintable things to take it off but like DJ Sose’s tattoo, up in my face till death. I have since learnt to live with it[tempted to call it disability], never let it deter my rep, its just made me put extra work into looking fine or manageable as the case may seem and wearing loud clothes like my friends isn’t an option. Why would I need to draw more attention?

My friends, damn, I miss those girls. Bola, slightly spoilt, second daughter of a business mogul, this girl is crazy but she is always fun to be with.

Vivian, light skinned, Omo Ibo, we met as fresh-men and have known each other since then, the babe, my direct opposite because she is fine. Now to the life of the pack, drama mama, Elizabeth, she is the CNN of the pack, very melodramatic, straight forward; she never misses chance of a good laugh.

They say true friends are like gems, these ones are diamonds, I remember one time, when the four of us were walking together and some guys came to greet us. They walked past me and proceeded to greet Bola.

Surprisingly, she said, “You saw someone before me, if you can’t greet her just walk”.

“Walk” Elizabeth echoed, strutting her fingers in demonstration, guys being guys, they just walked but the next time they sure greeted. So many other ways, we’ve all had to stand up for each other. School resumes in a week and I can’t wait.

P.S: I am a writer although I might not be able to tell my story adeptly but I can do that completely and truthfully.

 

Lines

Lines

MEET T-LINES

for the past 13weeks or more you have been reading the escapades and sexcapades of Tolani Gbadamosi popularly known as Lines. Somehow, someway, somewhere in your hearts resonante some sort of emotion albeit love hate, pity and even happiness and i am glad that you have taken this series very seriously and read religiously week in and week out.
Now is the time y’all finally meet me.
I am Gbadamosi Tolani, a character created by writer Oluwabi Mobolaji,who is a reader’s writer and a writer’s reader and yes I am a guy….. scratch that I am a man before you start with your after thoughts. Surprised ehn. Catch me as I blog irregularly on www.mymincedmusings.wordpress.com .follow me on twitter @embijay and keep with the hashtag #loaug while you enjoy the rest of your favorite series. Ciao

9 comments

  1. @jamess, there is a continuation soonest. I hope u’d like it.
    @gina and @shadow thanks
    @joke, me I am the ugly one
    @pearl apart from the fact that they would cost a fortune, I learnt my lessons from Micheal Jackson already…
    All in all. Thanx to y’all
    Can’t wait for ash and oluwa involvement’s comment tho

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