“Ahh baby, you are the apple of my eye, you are so gorgeous, you are beautiful.” “What’s your pin?” “Do you have BBM?” All typical things men write when trying to attract a woman but what happens when it goes wrong.
Nigerian men can be romantic when they want to but what happens when it’s TOO much, TOO soon. Ladies we have all gotten Facebook messages from men stating their intentions, some straight to the point and others very strange and creepy. I visited Nigeria two years ago (I LOVED IT!!) and every single time I come home, I travel to Anambra State where my parents were raised to visit my grandmothers and relatives, one day I went to Awka to go to an Internet café, I checked some emails, played some games, and went on Facebook. Not knowing that some of the men in that café were copying down my Facebook name. The next following week when I arrived back to Lagos, I opened my laptop to check my Facebook and saw I received (not 1, not 2, but) 16 new Facebook messages, surprised I began clicking on the messages only to realize the messages were from various men in the café in Awka (Chai, see me see trouble ooo!!) One of the messages stood out to me. First of all, the title of the message was and I’m not lying Iffy please accept my friend request, I love you so much!
The message went on as:
“You are indeed a pretty damsel and my indefatigable jewel of inestimable value, my name is Arinze and I saw you in the cyber cafe with your aunty and I developed an uncanny feelings for you cos u are indeed a damsel. am captivated and magnetized by your physical appearance and beauty which I can resist any more. Please kindly obliged me to come into Ur life cos I have already bowed in awe for u re an urbane. I hope to know u much better. pls lets keep in-touch dear. Arinze is my name, am from Agukwu-Nri and my village is very close to your village Enugwu-Ukwu (how did he know what village, I’m from?). I must confess that I love you so much with all my heart and in my heart you stand like a moving star, brightening my feelings like the virtues of the star lights heaven. You are indeed a woman of valor and I love you so much with all my heart and I promise to make you happy forever. am so happy that I met you and that makes me a fulfilled young man, immediately I saw you at the cyber cafe, my instinct tells me that you are the mother of my unborn kids. (mother of unborn gini,..Chineke!!!!) ”
I love you so much my darling jewel and lets be together and rule our world.
Love u so much my baby jewel Ifunanya
Now, tell me what’s wrong with this message?…. I will wait! Okay I will tell you! It’s too much, this man professing his love for me was a sweet gesture (I cannot blame him, I’m a fine babe, lol) but it was creepy and came off as really weird especially since I hadn’t said one word to him, most women reading such a message would be turned off! If you are a guy and write similar to Arinze to a girl you just or haven’t not met. I’m telling you STOP, it’s too much!
Advice for guys: If you see a woman you are attracted to, and the only way to contact her is through Facebook messages, Twitter, email, or even Instagram. Don’t be like Arinze!! (What Arinze wrote, is something you send to a girlfriend or someone you have been dating for a couple of months, not to someone that doesn’t know you.) You could be a really great guy but sending a message like that could scare the girl off, missing your chance because you were too intense.
1. Keep It Simple. A couple of sentences are just fine, not a paragraph, and definitely not a novel. (like Arinze)
2. Introduction, Hi my name is… not… babe what’s up? How you dey?
3. If you have never met her, start off with a cute joke, and then ask how her day is going (Women love that!)
4. Know the difference between being thirsty and complimenting. Compliment: “You are really beautiful” Thirsty: “Let’s get married!!”
5. Don’t get too compliment friendly, of course women want to be called beautiful and pretty, but if you sit there saying how sexy she is, she might just see you as just another guy admiring her beauty and not trying to get to know her
6. Ask questions, make it seem like you really want to get to know her and that she is more than just a pretty face, Example: What do you do for a living? Example: What do you like to do for fun?
Now fellas, I’m not guaranteeing that every woman you message using my tips will reply to your messages but definitely if you don’t message her like how Arinze did to me, you will have a much better chance that she will reply to you, after she replies the ball is in your court. If you have any questions or comments, I would like to hear them.
Find me on Twitter @missalldaabove or Instagram @sixfootamazon