In case you missed the last episode, read here – THE NEW WIFE SERIES: Mummy 1 and Mummy 2
I get the “You don’t look married” comment so often, I started to wonder..
Other than wearing my wedding band for easy identification, how should I really look to qualify as a Mrs? (I seriously need to be educated on this – please share your comments below).
I would never have imagined how many assumptions and expectations come with being a new Mrs. Consciously or not (more unconscious than they all would like to admit), people daily, expect you to look and act a certain way. And if any of your actions weren’t in line with their expectations, it had an automatic interpretation in their minds.
Talk about how everything you say/do can be ‘used against you’.
For instance, all my life until not so long ago, I could freely add and lose weight without fueling suspicions.
Nowadays, if I complain of stomach upset, headache or even toothache, it is translated to mean early pregnancy symptoms by default.
If I crop a photo of me on any social media platform, it would mean I’m hiding my tummy.
If I show a full photo of me revealing my tummy looking flat, some will zoom in the picture just to be sure (Someone actually confessed to doing this with my picture. I’m not making this up).
If I don’t upload any recent photos of myself for a while, it means “Aha, she’s very pregnant and can’t take pictures anymore”
With my martial status change, suddenly, I can’t have a normal conversation with someone without having questions like “When are we welcoming our twins?” thrown at me. They start to countdown 9months from the Saturday they eat rice at your wedding.
Someone even asked once “Una neva tire to play boyfriend and girlfriend? Una no wan born?”
Ha! I call Mr. Husband my official boyfriend for life. And it’s amazing that anyone would think of a real marriage as play because the couple haven’t started having kids. Marriage is a lot of work, with or without kids. It’s two people that come together in marriage and their primary responsibility is to each other. Everything else is secondary. People are hardly ever asking,
“Does being with her/him still feel as good as new?”
That should matter too. No? Don’t get me wrong. I loooooovvve kids and see them in my future. But so much emphasis is just placed in the wrong direction. There have been happy marriages without them. Some have also gained kids and lost their marriage. That in my opinion, is the tragedy.
If only we’d change our orientation….
I get asked the funniest questions, receive the most unsolicited advice, and am subjected to the most ridiculous assumptions ever so often. The culprits are some of the reasons I laugh so hard in my closet…just thinking about the things that go through their minds. To you I say, the reason we don’t watch Nollywood is, their movies are too predictable. Learn to enjoy the suspense ;). It has become such a pattern, and I know I speak the mind of many other new Mrs., especially the Nigerians.
…but still I love being a wife.
As featured on www.allthingztiana.blogspot.com