THE NEW WIFE SERIES: Show Me Your Friend

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In case you missed the last episode, read here – THE NEW WIFE SERIES: When Next Are We Coming To Eat Rice?

I was my own wedding planner.

Partly because, the whole process seemed like it would be a lot of fun, so I thought ‘Why pay someone to do it?’

Mostly because, as a last child(well, that depends on how your household is structured) you get so used to running everybody’s errands…including attending to one’s personal needs. Due to this, I’ve grown and learnt to do everything myself. This is of course besides the fact that I also don’t trust that anybody will do it as thoroughly as I would.

I worked in a family business in the months preceding our wedding. So, this made it was easy for me to get a few hours off in a day to do my wedding runs. And on days when I needed more than just a few hours, I reminded my mother that I am her precious last child and I had the rights (LOL) to get the whole day off!

So, I threw myself into fully planning our wedding – the church, court, and mostly planning the traditional wedding and reception party.

The support from my siblings and parents was huge. But more surprising was also the commitment of my friends to the whole planning of my wedding. So much so, one of them voluntarily moved into my family house with me about one month to the wedding just to help me out. And she didn’t leave my side until late in the evening, after the wedding reception was over!

Such are the kind of friends God blessed me with. Caring, selfless…

No two of my friends are alike in my eyes. All serving a unique relevant purpose.

“You keep single friends?!?!”

That’s the question a much older married lady asked me one hot afternoon as we spoke over lunch.

I think what helped to regulate my shock was that I had heard recurrent bants about how married women look down on their single friends. Suddenly starting to feel superior, so much so that it reflects in their attitude.

Asides the fact that I find this extremely laughable, I think it gives perfect insight into the value or not, these ‘now’ married women placed on themselves prior to marriage. The only way you can possibly think of yourself as better than someone who doesn’t have a rock on their finger (yet) is that you really saw yourself valueless without it…until you finally got it.

Life, as I like to think of it, is in phases. With not one phase being more important than the other because it is a total package, with all the phases interconnected. You must appreciate and give all of yourself into the experience of one to successfully progress to and fully appreciate the next phase. And even some phases are optional. But that doesn’t make the life of those that skipped them any less successful.

That not everybody will get married is a fact. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. That I got married was my choice. As much as I love my friends and wish them the best in all their endeavours, I also respect their choices. I’m always praying that they live happy lives…be it as married or single women.

….but still, I love being a wife


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Born & christened Temitope Ishola. Fast forward to 2013..Hi, I'm Tiana #InAnyOyiboAccent. I live in my head! Curious & Like to Share my Thoughts. Somewhere in between a tom-boy and a girly girl. Nature Lover. You can follow @TS_Tiana on Twitter & Visit for more.


  1. You be person, this lady. I was told to dump my single friends. To that I said, the people that were around before the husband will be around if he decides to dispose of me.

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