#ESSE The Wedding Planner S1E04

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This wedding planner would keep you absolutely entertained. Read Episode 3 here.

I woke up with love from all over – love in the eyes of the man who woke me up, love in the breakfast I was going to have in bed, love in the light background music playing in the room. I hadn’t felt this kind of love in a very long time. Now, I felt very satisfied, pretty sure I had given my best last night to John. He seemed very impressed. I could see it in his eyes and from his smile. I had my food which was a cup of black coffee with lots of sugar, toast and bacon. John cleared the plates once we were done with breakfast resting his head on my laps. I slowly rubbed my hands on his face and his hair while we watched the breakfast show on TV.

After we had done this for about an hour, I became bored. My mind had left the room and was already thinking of work-related-affairs. I sat there, thinking of a way to tell John this without sounding like ‘I didn’t want him’. I sat there praying for some kind of distraction – just like magic, it did. A knock on the door – it was the hotel attendant asking if it was okay to come in and change the sheets. John wore his boxer shorts immediately to open the door while I quickly slipped into the shower. By the time the attendant was done, I had taken a quick shower and worn my clothes ready to go home. He looked surprised.

“Home?” He asked.

“Yes babe, the children need to be attended to plus I’ve still got work”

“Okay. So we’re seeing next week right?”

“If you say so, baby”

He dipped his hands into the pockets of his trouser and brought out some naira notes.

“Have this, my love”

I stretched my hands and reached for the money. Then, I sealed his lips with a kiss. The kiss lasted way too long and was starting up something funny so I cut it off and proceeded home.

It was a Sanitation saturday, so everybody was in a hurry especially the market women. I looked out for a yellow taxi- there was no way I was paying for an expensive hotel cab, abegi – who wan chop der AC?. With no yellow taxi in sight, I waved down an Okada as I had to be home before the sanitation clock hit 10. Thankfully, I had a pair of flat shoes in my bag.

When I got home, I had a proper bath – much longer than the one I had in the hotel. I had scheduled to see another nature spot today. The first one I saw was not spacious enough and very expensive. I was very much casual seeing as it was a hot Saturday afternoon. The traffic was killing – people hustling to get to work, and various occasions. I tuned to the radio, humming and dancing to the music.

As I was in the traffic, my phone started ringing. I looked at it and it was one of those ‘i-dont-have-your-number’ people. I couldn’t pick it up, not that I felt like picking up even if I was able to. The caller calls again and this time consecutively – five times. The traffic had reduced and I kept driving along, ignoring the calls. I had just gone past the 3rd Mainland Bridge, when I heard the ping of a text. This time, I picked up the phone quickly and had a quick look and it read:


Now, I was scared, very much scared. So, I tried calling the number back but to no reply – now it was the turn of the person to play the joker. I turned back when I saw a diversion and started driving back home. Fear gripped the better part of me, I couldn’t even think straight. I got back home and threw myself into the big chair in the living room. I was going to sleep and was interrupted by the phone call. It was the person I was waiting for.

I picked up the call.

“Hello” I said in a cheery voice.
“This is Esse right?”. It was a woman’s voice. Husky.

“Yes, it is”
“You’re lucky you followed my instructions. Majiri and Nene would have been dead as at now if you had disobeyed”

I trembled with fear even more. How did she know of my children? Who was providing her with such information?

“I don’t get. What do you want?” I asked like a wet chicken.

“You are the one planning Bruce Iwu’s wedding to that skinny bitch uh?”
“I’m planning his wedding, don’t know of the skinny bitch you speak of”

She laughed.

“Nelo Ez…whatever and yes, that wedding won’t hold.”


“Long story cut short. I have twin boys for him. They’re 5″

Now, my mouth was wide open. I couldn’t even hide my disappointment with Bruce. Not like I was surprised, it was a rich kid behaviour.

“Just tell him Tari Douglas called and that he’s done well to block every means of communication between us. Follow my instructions and well, you won’t be in their trouble”

She ended the call.

What was I going to do now? I was slightly happy that it wasn’t a friend trying to punish me, or an enemy either. At least, it wasn’t really my problem. I wasn’t going to bother myself with problems that weren’t mine. To call Nelo? No. She’ll just freak out plus she was in Paris now. I had to find a way to get to Bruce before Nelo got back so we could fix Tari (if she could be fixed).

My thoughts were diverted to the PTA meeting when my children got home from the neighbours’ screaming of it. As usual, they never failed to remind me of the fine for parents who were absent. That was ten thousand naira for a child and twenty for two? Mba. I didn’t have that amount to dole out to the school.

I grabbed my bag from the chair and hurried to the school leaving them in the protection of Urenna. I arrived in the school, signed the attendance book and sat down. As it is with PTA meetings, everyone wants to be heard. Some will go the extra mile and even say nonsense. Anyway, they kept talking. I wasn’t listening. All I thought of was Bruce and the Tari babe. I didn’t blame her at all, wasn’t easy being a single mother. Deep in my thoughts, the soft hands on my shoulder brought me back. It was Nyame who just walked in. She sat on the seat behind me and we exchanged pleasantries. Nyame was a friend, wife of a rich importer and exporter. She was always on business trips here and there and didn’t have time. The meeting had become boring and all I was waiting for was the motion for adjournment.

Then the chairman mentioned it was time for General business and people rose up their hands to prolong our meeting. They were five in number, let’s hope they didn’t prepare a speech from home. The first man spoke of the class 4 teacher who marked his student’s books and didn’t correct their errors. The second was going to complain of the same thing and so she just sat down. The third was Nyame. Now, I was surprised considering the fact she was hardly with her kids. She rose up and spoke about the school uniforms and how horrible they looked.

There was confusion in the whole room now. People started making noise from all angles. Why would they change the uniforms? Didn’t they just change it about a year ago? Anyway, it was tabled for the next meeting and the meeting came to a close. Thank God it wasn’t up for deliberation.

I retired to my house and straight up to my room to sleep. Tomorrow was a Sunday and I had to make it to church.

I am your regular next door neighbour, bringing happiness and joy to you.

Your joy is my joy. Your excitement, my excitement.

I am humbled by every wedding I plan.

And I am more humbled when everything works out well.

Just smile for I have everything worked out.

I am, your wedding planner.

So this is my package for you this week. Wait for what I’ve got next week.

I remain your wedding planner,


As featured on www.thecrazyyouth.wordpress.com



I am your regular next door neighbour, bringing happiness and joy to you. Your joy is my joy. Your excitement, my excitement. I am humbled by every wedding I plan. And I am more humbled when everything works out well. Just smile for I have everything worked out. I am, your wedding planner. I am Esse.


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