My Worst Memory Of Maiduguri Pt. 5 by @VonDBeatz

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EDITOR’S NOTES

We skipped from Episode 2 to Episode 5 because Von D had a sudden burst of inspiration to write about the aftermath of the whole incident seeing as today is the one year remembrance for Shizzy, Heych & D2. Next week we will hop back to Part 3 Read on and don’t forget to pray for Nigeria.

Also, there is a new track by Shizzy at the end of the story. Enjoy it

Also, today is #ShizzyHeychD2day. You can join the conversation on Twitter and Facebook and drop your thoughts. We will really appreciate it. Thank you very much for following this series

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Episode 1 here | Episode 2 here

A TRUE STORY

29 September, 2013. Volgograd , Russia.

I am sitting on a couch, deeply lost in my thoughts and paying little attention to the laptop in front of me. It’s a very cold night in Volgograd and the wind is howling outside, sounding really eerie. The internet says it’s about 4 – degrees Celsius outside but it feels much colder than that. The cold, combined with the vodka in my system is making me really moody tonight. I stretch back on the couch, my mind over six thousand kilometres away. At about this same time last year, I received a message that irrevocably altered the course of my life. I sigh to myself as I adjust the pillow my head is resting on, a million thoughts running through my mind. One year and what do I have to show for it? Fine I lost Shizzy, Heych and D2 but what have I done for them in the past one year? I have not been able to accomplish any of the things I promised myself I would do for them. One word; I’m bitter – with myself, with the world, with whatever… I would dare say I am really close to questioning my Maker but I know better than to do that. I left Maiduguri last year October after the cold blooded assassination of three of my dearest friends Shizzy (Abdulmalik), Heych (Halima) and D2 (Yakubu) and life hasn’t been the same for me. I get off the couch and move to the dining as I try to put the events of the past year and the aftermath of my friends passing, into perspective. Meeting their parents had been really emotional for me; the few weeks I had spent with Shizzy’s parents still fresh in my memory. I remember how queer I had felt during that period, always thinking how ironic it was that I was the one alive, spending time with Shizzy’s parents  while only a few weeks back, we had both been together in that same house. The period after that had been really lonely and depressing for me, I spent the whole semester away from school and only went back for about three weeks to write my exams and then, relocated back to Lags for my Internship. I sigh to myself as I get up to make some tea. Jay just called me a few minutes back and she has done a very good job of lifting my spirits up. But the torrent of thoughts in my mind is almost overwhelming.

My tea is ready and I’m back to my sit. I open up my chrome browser and launch the tweetdeck app to monitor the tweets on #shizzyheychd2day.  A-Maz, being ever prolific with ideas came up with suggestion that we come up with a way to make the 29th of September every year a Memorial Day for the trio we lost. I sigh to myself as I sluggishly sip my tea and scroll through the tweets on my TL, re-tweeting the relevant once while scrolling through. My problem I think, is that anything I, or we, try to do to honour them always seems too little or insignificant to me. I really want to do soo much! As I scroll through my phone messages, my heart skips a bit as I glance through a conversation I had a few weeks back with a really close friend of Shizzy. I remember feeling nostalgic and very depressed for a few days after our conversation and right now, going through the messages again bring up sharp pangs of emotion in me. The conversation had left me feeling like I had been talking to Shizzy through an intermediary… it’s hard to explain so I will just place a copy of a portion of our conversation here;

[Note that I have used a false name in order to hide the identity of the person I am chatting with as I do not wish to infringe on her privacy. Nevertheless, I have published this conversation with her full permission]

I am @vondbeatz while the lady is codenamed @x

@x :

“Hey, How u doin today”

 

@vondbeatz :

“Heeey! Am gud…. Jst stayin home all day 2day :D” …. “feel soo lazy Lolz….ow bout u?”

 

@x :

“Lolz. Am ok, feelin kinda down nd sad”

“Dreamt bout Shizzy”

“It ws so real, we tlked as though he was alive :(“

 

@vondbeatz :

“Rily?…ur missin him:)….I dream about them a lot too”

“N it always feels sooo ril”

“…The one year remembrance is comin up soon”

“I wanna do smthn special 4’em”

 

@x :

“Yea, thnk u shld”

“We were talkin n he said he misses bein on earth nd he misses all his frnds especially VonD”

“He said nt bein wit u hurts him a lot”

“He asked hw Sound Unit is doin, buh I said I dunno”

“Cuz I rili don’t knw”

“I told him we now get along well wit u nd he ws soooo hapi”

“Wen he was alive he teases me, dat I’m havin a crush on u cuz I always ask aftr u wen he coms to my room”

“He’d be lyk heeeey my [x] is havin a crush on my frnd :)”

“Nd I’d be lyk “shizzy take ur tym o”

 

 

@vondbeatz

“Wooow…he sed dt?…my life’s bin upside down sins he left…I fil lost”

“Sound unit is now dysfunctional…its nt bin d same without him around”

 

 

@x :

“Awwww”

“Woooooow”

“Am so sori to here dat D”

 

 

@vondbeatz

“:)…so he used 2 tease ya ehn…hehe…dnt mind him”

“He had a way of bringin ppl 2geda…”

“Ya….muzik’s nt jst d same for me…if u cheq my twitter bio it says retired….der’s no mor fun in it 4me anymod”

“Ppl say am givin up on our dreams…I dunno if dts tru…”

“4me its just…muzik wasn’t bout bein succesful n famous….I was just enjoyin d whole journey…n d numerous crazy thinz we did…”

 

 

@x :

“Omg”

 

 

@vondbeatz

“….Nw…I feel like a part of me died with them on that day…”

“Hard 2 explain…nobody understands..”

“Sumtimes I feel guilty…coz I kno he would want me 2 continue…but 4me its nt jst d same anymo…”

“Its nt worth bein successful…if he aint here 4 us 2 be successfull 2geda…

“I’m talkin too much…sowie dear…dnt mind me:)”

 

@x :

“No no no pls u can tlk”

“I undrstnd hw u feel”

“Just do wat u feel it’s ryt”

 

@vondbeatz

“Ummm…did u read a story I posted on one website like dt a few weeks bak?”

 

@x :

“No I didn’t”

“Do u knw I askd him who kill em nd why wld d person do dat?”

“*Killed*”

 

@vondbeatz

“U did?…wt did he say?”

 

@x :

“He jst nodded nd said I don’t wanna knw”

“He asked if I’ve seen his corps”

“I said no nd he said, it was just one person who did it….dat was all he said

“Rili don’t undrstnd wat he means by dat”

 

@vondbeatz

“*sigh*…. He won’t tell you ehn…I’l stil find out sumday..”

“Wow…u guys rily talked…am kinda jealous :$”

“Jst one person?…hmmm”

 

@x :

“Aww pls don’t, I feel hapi we tlkd”

“Papa said d same thn too…he must find out”

 

@vondbeatz

“Hehe…dnt mind me:)”

“Ma dreams about dem hav always been fuzzy”

“I only wake up n realize dt I was dreamin…n den remeber dt dey gone…..den d ache comes bak:(“

 

@x :

There’s dis his T-shirt I luv…NO WIFI

I askd him 2 gimme buh he said he can’t

 

@vondbeatz

“:) I kno d shirt…”

“If I’d known I cud’v kept it 4ya”

 

 

@x :

“Awwww I wld luvd dat “

“I wish to hav somthn of his”

 

@vondbeatz

“I wud get smthn 4 u dnt worry:)”

 

 

@x :

“I hated myslf for wakin up lst nyt”

 

@vondbeatz

“I kno d feelin…:) dreams u wish wud never end”

“Wish I cud have more conversation with him”

“Dnt be too sad dear…everythin’l be alright Godwillin”

 

@x :

“:) yea sure”

Its about 3:30am right here and I cannot recall the moment the drink in my hand changed from tea, to a Russian Beer of which I am clueless to what is written on the can. Reading this conversation always makes me feel Shizzy’s presence around me. I feel like they all watching and the truth is that I miss them so bad it hurts. Maybe I am half-drunk right now as I am writing this but hey… life is too short. I know you all watching me right now and so I take this time to tell you this; I miss you all and I won’t let our dreams die. It’s a promise. RIP! #shizzyHeychD2day

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Here is a Shizzy posthumous track  that was just released today titled “Nightmares” by Shizzy.

King

King

King is a writer and guitarist. He is an opinionated, multi talented individual with love for music and everything it concerns

7 comments

  1. really sorry about ur loss, don’t knw abt life.after death but I’d like to think they are watching….sincere apologies 4 ur loss..may they rest in peace

  2. Just stumbled on this story 2day. Reading it triggers such emotion, can’t stop the tears,I understnd a bit of what ur goin thru. I’m soo sorry 4 ur loss.

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