#ESSE The Wedding Planner S1E03

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This wedding planner would keep you absolutely entertained. Read Episode 2 here.

Toke’s wedding came and went on fine. Everything was on point and yes, the groom is such a cutie. He’s one light-skinned fine dude with beautiful dancing skills and the most gorgeous eyes for a guy. He even danced better than his wife throwing in all the 80’s, 90’s and Naija dance steps he could remember. I had fun, got checked out by a new man (which is the reason I have a smile on), got paid and got new contacts.

Now, let me tell you about the new man. I’m pretty sure you are itching to hear about him. He’s the complete chocolate package. A marine engineer, he’s 34, married with a kid, hails from Bayelsa and lives on the island (one of those LDR shit again, aw man).

Can I not meet someone in this GRA? Or am I not sexy enough? Anyway, his name is John, a classmate of the bride. Funny how the whole checking out process occurred right under his wife’s nose seeing as she was with him throughout. Oh well. Anyway, John hasn’t stopped calling me since that day and we’ve decided to meet up this evening. But before meeting married John, I’ll be meeting with a bride, Nelo, she’ll be getting married to the son of the senate president. So all in all, the day looks promising, so I’ve got to be finer than usual. By the time I’m done with my beauty routine today, infact, make I press pause.

First meeting

Nelo looks gorgeous in person. She had a well cut black skirt suit complete with ‘red soles’ black stilettos which she paired with a red YSL large chic bag – I like to size up my clients on first dates, it helps to know how which business language and terms I’ll be using with them. She sat somewhere in the reception of the Oriental Hotel where we agreed we’ll meet. I walked up to where she was seated.

“You must be Nelo?”

“I’m Esse, Esse Ayagba”

We shook hands and then went down to the restaurant to have lunch. I don’t need to tell you she paid for it, do I? She’s a Lagos big girl getting married to another Lagos big boy. We had something on the menu which I have never heard of/ tasted but Warri babes no dey everly carry last na.

“I’ll have the chef’s special” she said to the waiter.
Turning to me, she then said “How about you Esse”
“Same thing” I replied.

Then they brought something like rice in pepper soup. Only that the pepper soup was like black colored water. And then we had raw vegetables in another plate. The chef said it was a Thai special. I didn’t fall hands though, squeezed face and ate it all. Then when they brought the grilled fish and ketchup, it was like the Holy Spirit had worked wonders in my life. I just wanted to go on my knees, raise my hands up and thank God for such amazing gift of food that I know. After the meals, we got into business and she described what she wanted. Unlike many other clients, Nelo knew exactly what she wanted which makes my planning easier.

First, she wanted a nature spot for her wedding- a place where the grasses were green, had beautiful flowers with strong leafy grand trees with the perfect space. She was going to speak to the pastor to have the wedding in the garden and then reception in this same garden. I was very impressed and asked her to go on with her plans. She told me she’ll be off to Paris in two weeks for her wedding shopping and all I needed to do was plan for the location, the DJ, the cake, the food/small chops, and drinks. Every other thing was handled by the wedding committee. I re-assured her that it’ll go fine and then we called it a day.

I got home and made lunch for the kids. I had done this for almost two weeks non-stop and it was getting interesting. As I was preparing lunch, I picked up my phone to call Julian and inform him of the new job at hand. The phone rang a couple of times but to no answer. I dropped it and went back to cooking; maybe he was working out again. About five minutes after, my phone rang again and it was him. He told me he was around my house and had come to deliver some small chops for someone who was having a house party.

Twenty minutes after, he walked in sweating. Trying to draw my mind from the fit stud thing, I told him about the newest job and the wedding plan. I offered him a glass of juice as well. On getting up to leave, I noticed the bulge that was yearning for attention.

It was like curved and saying “Hello Esse, notice me!”

I just looked away and consoled myself that I was getting it from a man tonight and not a youngling. I glared at him (sorry, his bulge) for what must have been a minute and went back to my cooking. He must have noticed the awkwardness of the whole thing and left without even saying goodbye. It was better off for me honestly. The children got home earlier as they had started writing their tests and we had lunch together and a good nap afterwards. Majiri decided to sleep in my room while Nene, who’s acting like Miss Independent went to her room, telling her brother that it was only babies who slept in their mother’s bed.

He was enjoying mamas hands, didn’t care if he had lost to her this time.

I woke up first, in preparation for my date, then my daughter and my little boy. He’s such a deep sleeper. I had my bath, looked for one of my sexy lingerie sets – always important for days like this as you never know – did my make-up and wore my clothes – a pair of slimfit jean trouser, a slightly transparent black shirt and an ankara jacket a friend made for me. After a few minutes, he called and I kissed my kids goodbye and rushed downstairs.

We started the night at one of those Igbo joints around Ogudu. We had isi-ewu first and a bottle of Star, for him and Guinness, for me. Then we moved to dancing to some old high-life that was playing. Trust me not to carry last of course; I gave them all the styles on the dance floor. We had catfish pepper soup and some extra bottles before we left for his hotel where the real activity was going to go down.

I am your regular next door neighbour, bringing happiness and joy to you.

Your joy is my joy. Your excitement, my excitement.

I am humbled by every wedding I plan.

And I am more humbled when everything works out well.

Just smile for I have everything worked out.

I am, your wedding planner.

So this is my package for you this week. Wait for what I’ve got next week.

I remain your wedding planner,


As featured on www.thecrazyyouth.wordpress.com



I am your regular next door neighbour, bringing happiness and joy to you. Your joy is my joy. Your excitement, my excitement. I am humbled by every wedding I plan. And I am more humbled when everything works out well. Just smile for I have everything worked out. I am, your wedding planner. I am Esse.


  1. so far this series bore me… i keep reading, hoping something will crop up and spark some excitement for me but… maybe one or two more episodes before i give up on it~

  2. Bless yu…yu’ve got expression on a lock dwn,..yur flexibility wit words is beautiful….nice one ,I’m Lookin forward to more…

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