Non-African Women, What You Should Know And Do When Dating An African Man(Guide)

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I bet everyone wants to know what I believe a Non-African woman should know before dating an African men. Correct? Okay before I begin let me just say: Am I saying all African men are the same? No!! Am I saying majority of them have mommy issues? Maybe. lol. Dealing with an African men takes lots of patience, the only reason why we, African women have an easier time handling them is only because we are surrounded by them constantly and grew up around them, I know they can be frustrating at times.

God has blessed and created the most beautiful, handsome, manly men in Africa. However, our fine brothers have started looking into other ethnicities and are beginning to date interracially (putting their chocolate cookie in sugar cookies, raisin cookies, and Macadamia cookies) and it’s okay. One can not stop what the heart likes. There are lots of handsome men out there, in different continents and countries so I’m here to give advice on some things a Non African woman should have in the back of her head when dating an African man.

Here’s a list of what you can expect so you are well prepared:

1) Henny, dark liquor, Stout, or Heinkein or other heavy beers are their drink of choice. I don’t know why maybe it’s they want to have that drink as their “special drink” because it’s one of the few drinks most women wouldn’t necessarily see as their drink of choice. Yuck! So the men drink it right up! Oyinbo/Akata: Have at least a case in your house, if your man drinks alcohol and comes to your place and sees you have some, he will be a happy man.

2) COOK!! COOK!! COOK!! : Even if you don’t like to cook, try and cook a few meals a week. A Nigerian man loves with his belly amongst other things. You know what I’m talking about. Cough. A Nigerian man wants to be able to know that you can properly feed him.

Oyinbo/Akata: Cook your favorite meals, make sure it’s good, Nigerian men are spoiled by the sweet taste of their mother’s cooking so you are going to have to put that work in the kitchen. No African man is always going to want to do take out or go to a restaurant all the time. He wants to know you can cook!

3) Meat and fish are your best friend: I don’t care, I have yet to meet an African man that doesn’t like meat or fish. When you cook, you must add chicken, goat, turkey, or fish in a man’s food, if not it’s not a complete meal. I’m serious Give him a plate of rice without meat or fish and see his face.

4) Alpha male: A.M want to show how they are a man, they could show it through their fortunes, how they treats you, or by their religious and mental level. Some times you have to let a man be a man. Nigerian men have big ego and for some enough pride to stretch from here to China. Nigerian men are taught to be the head in the household, the need to take care of certain obligations for a woman comes naturally for them. (Paying for the date.)  They don’t like to feel belittled or not in control, and because of that some are very argumentative and aggressive to protect that Alpha male, macho man persona.

5) The most sensual, sexual guy you will meet. I don’t know what it’s like in the open public between you and your African man but I can almost guarantee it’s great behind closed doors, when you guys are… You know what. cough. An African man wants to pleasure his woman, and give her a good sexual experience; married or dating. Nigerian men consider themselves great lovers, if only that were true but even though this might not be exactly true for all Nigerian men, they at least try and put that work in, if you know what I mean.

Nigerian men are crazy but that’s only because they love hard. As much as they might be a pain in your butt or do things that might frustrate you, an African man has all the capability of loving and treating a woman like a queen. Dating them could be a little challenging if not used to African men, but with some understanding, love, respect, and some home cooking, you will do just fine.

Ifunanya's Piece Of Mind

Ifunanya's Piece Of Mind

Nigerian Blood, American born. P.Square warned you in 2007 about me, well now I'm here and have no plans on leaving. I'm a sweetheart, music junkie, hopeless romantic, a sister, a friend but most importantly a chick with a whole lot to say. I'm letting everything out of the bag from the point of view I know best, my own!! From sex to relationships to music to whatever I'm feeling at that given moment. Nothing and no one is safe! On Saturdays you can find me talking with your favorite African celebrities, discussing juicy topics and playing the hottest tracks on www.udrradio.com. My mother always said if you have nothing good to say, don't say anything at all. Well I do, welcome to my mind. Follow me on Twitter @Missalldaabove and Instagram @sixfootamazon

67 comments

  1. number 1 is wrong the rest maybe. Most African men are social drinkers… i.e drink outside. If they see alcohol in a womans house they will be worried

  2. i just recently married my husband who is from gabon west africa. now all we do is argue. he stay cheating and expects me to let it go and hold my tongue. but that will never happen so he refers to me as ghetto. he treats me great when he not getting caught up

  3. Hi Ifunanya, I loved reading your articles. I need some advice. I just recently started dating a Nigerian man, after being good friends for little over a year. He meets all your five points above. I’m black too but from a different cultural background and sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing things the right way to appreciate him. The other day we were at a business place and someone was being rude to him. I could see he was getting very angry so I stepped in and calmed the situation before he let loose. Later on he told me he was upset because he didn’t get to respond. How can I reassure him that he’s the alpha male and that I’m not taking over form him?
    Secondly, he says he wants to take things slowly so we shouldn’t publicise our relationship; but at the same time he seems to be trying to get me pregnant. Any ideas on how to approach this?

  4. I’m going out to Ghana to meet my Ghanaian boyfriend what should I expect him to be like and what will he expect from me? He is already calling me his “wife” I’m 52 he’s 31 I find him to be quite hard work at times and doesn’t understand when I get upset if he doesn’t call . He is Muslim I’m Christian will this work out?

    1. I’m sorry this isn’t the answer you probably want to hear, but it most likely won’t work out. You being Christian and him being Muslim, alone, is more than likely to not work, as those are completely different rooted religions. So unless one of you are willing to convert, then no. . . Secondly, you should be wary he’s already referring to you as his “wife”. You might be getting taken for a ride, hun.

    2. Hello Carole…I was wondering if u could update on how the trip went for you…have you been able to make it work.

    3. Hey I also went to Ghana and married a muslim man he has yet to get to the United States. He is also 31 and im 43 we been married three years. We have religion difference. I pray your man gets to come and I hope we are not talking about the same guy. Because they do marry more then one

  5. When you say taken for a ride what do you mean by taken for a ride do you mean a mug? I’m not a practicing christian and very open minded having lived I Turkey and used to Muslim and their way of life. Are you saying I shouldn’t go? He knows I haven’t much in the financial sense. This is why I came on here to get some impartial advice as everyone is so against me going. I’m not a lonely desperate white woman but a woman who fell in love by chance not design with a Ghanaian man.

  6. It’s your heart to follow. You know best if he loves you or using you. I have a friend who is married to a younger African man and he is very mean to her behind closed doors but the perfect young handsome husband in public. But that will reveal its self in time. Just make sure you have a trusted friend or family member by your side incase things don’t go as expected. But I’m a hopeless romantic and I think it could very well be real.

  7. MY boyfriend is West African. I saw his cell phone text by some other woman displaying porn and “does that make you horny”etc.. the kicker is this…she has a boyfriend who seems to be nice guy. What kind of sick game are they playing.? I spoke to the other woman and she says oh we are just friends, we joke. She should have said “I am arrogant and think you’re stupid” It would be less insulting. I give up…

    1. I am in the same situation and I am having a really hard time with everything. Is there any advice you have found on how to deal with this stuff?

  8. Hey Carol my name is Angel I am currently dating a Ghanian we need to talk cause I want to travel abroad which would be my first time and I would to make a female friend to travel with. I hope to hear from you soon my email address is thickandbeautiful44@yahoo.com I hope to hear from you. If you have already went, I would love to hear about your trip

    1. I I have a husband there I got married 3 ago and im still waiting on him in United States. So be careful . I m going back soon and my hubby is muslim and very young his bday is 12/20/85

  9. Take my advice and don’t marry one….I’m African American (or black American as Africans call us) several degrees, Christian, etc. Etc. Etc…. I’m I’m a circle of women married to AM and it’s not good. Yes they expect not to be questioned about anything. My husband agrees and when we argue he will say African women are obedient, don’t question their men, etc…..I.e, this means I can cheat, hide money, do what I want and she will be quiet or at best she will never divorce for it if the man is making good money…..trust me don’t do it…..most just want papers, if you find this is the case call immigration and let them know he is with you for papers and have your reason you know this is the case. For example you’ve found text from his wife back home or he is cheating here……just don’t do it…..

  10. Have them deported if you find that you are being used for papers….and omg some are bad about disrespecting Americans but yet they won’t go home until retirement, they will over stay the visa for decades and even use someone else’s paper’s……I’ve seen it all over the years……run, don’t walk away….HATS OFF TO THE AFTICAN WOMEN…..

  11. hello my name is kendra i was engaged to a african man .he is from sierra leon if im spelling it right any who we have a four month old daughter together.and we recently broke up. because of his family i miss him but i also dont want to settle his family refuse to see my daughter .because she does not have they last name. so he claim he left his family to be with me .. but i dont think so he is very closed in dont show emotion as much. and im about ready to give up becsuse its alot to deal with.

  12. Hi there lady’s
    I am African woman u saport 100/ Bless lady above .
    Yes dont do,You will be a slave for an Africa man,
    I am originally from africa and i do not have anything to do with africa man.
    if you have any questions you can email me at ayubutwaha@hotmail.com .

  13. I heard that Nigerian men didn’t get down Orally is this true?

    I went out with a Nigeran, and he asked what I wanted I ordered a glass of Reisling. He ignored my request and brought me water instead. Later on he told me he didn’t drink and that I shouldn’t drink in his presence.. We met at a Christian event at a BREWERY #Confused

  14. Hello this is a real experience that happened with me I am a Latino woman and met a guy younger me truth a friend that i met before, he is in Africa and when he said was interesting in me i insisted that i was older and far from him he said does not matter, they have tribe customs that i was afraid, some tribe do not slow them to marry others culture, some of them have many wives, He said was not marry I travel and found that they do not show any affection in public they can be beside you and be a strange, i was there for more them moths and them he demand money, we were in a relation for a year thinking to go there or to get him to my country , but during that time he cheated on me , one week before i knew we were planing to marry, his woman text me telling she was pregnant, is you are older him is very difficult they want children, and you will be seating alone while they drink and talk with his friends, they can be using cellphones and texting others women and usually African women do not care. They said if they feed and give me money i do not care, they do not like when a woman knows more them them- They do not like when a woman talk a lot.

  15. Hi I’m an AA currently dating and Liberian man who also lives in the US. He is very Americanized but he wants to go back to live permanently in Liberia. He wants me to go back with him. He is very good to me buy me nice things takes me out. But I am very wary of whether he will be a cheater in Africa because he does make a lot of money and very attractive. Can anyone give me advice about how Liberian men are??

  16. I’m dating a nigerian guy we are both in our late 20’s I met him when he first came to the states now he is pressing me to be his wife or he’s going back to Africa

  17. I am in a relationship with a Nigerian man that lives here in america..he is younger than me. He has 3 very young children in Nigeria. .I have met his family/mom/friends. He is not rushing me at all to marry . He loves to cook, he gives me anything I ask for and he is very affectionate in public. So is there anything I need to look out for or maybe I have a good one!! I’m open for suggestions. ..

  18. Simply put all countries have things they do different. But a man will be a man no matter where he’s from. American men are no better. You have to be careful no matter who u date or marry……we teach people how to treat us. If he truly loves you he will be willing to compromise.

  19. Thank my Ghanaian husband doesn’t drink or smoke. He’s arrogant as well as I am time to time, but oh well. My whole stay in Ghana he cooked dinner, and cooked the breakfast..I must say he’s God sent.

  20. I’ve been married to a Nigerian man for 12 years. All this is true except he doesn’t mind that I’m not a great cook. He feels that it is his responsibility to provide me with a cook bc his mom had many servants growing up. My biggest issue is while we live in America he travels to Nigeria and puts all our extra money into Nigeria and wants to give back to Nigeria. He hadn’t been for years when we married but his culture and love affair with the country increases the older he gets. We r both Christian and I constantly say Nigeria is ur mistress- leave and cleave! Now if our marraige doesn’t work all of our assets being in Nigeria would not put me in a safe place financially. I feel like he can never give me 100% bc he has a mindset that he needs to give and be a part of his country. He is a different person when he is there or spends a lot of time there. And he is a very good manipulator- and gets his way most of the time. Please choose with your hearts- but use your head!

  21. well are west african men better than east african men because ive been around east african men and they seem lazy not all but most all i see east african men do when they come to america is drive taxi’s but west african men go to colleges and become doctors I would prefer west instead of east also east african men suck at communicating with their wife/spouse/girlfriend I dont know why

  22. Hello! I have been talking to my Ghanaian lover since September of 2015. I went to visit him in Accra in February 2016. We bumped heads! He act so much different over FaceTime and Whatsapp than he did in person. I even got gifts and flowers. I must say I love him, but is very suspicious of him.

  23. Hi everyone! I’m a 24 year old AA/Jamaican living in nyc. I’ve been talking to this 26yr old Nigerian guy from Lagos for some months now….call me crazy but the first thing I asked was “do you have your papers” lol listen, let’s be real… 8/10 this is what they are looking for… I KNOw Bc I have plenty of family and friends from out of the country that wants papers. Well, needless to say, he has a 10year visa. He’s very caring and affectionate, I’ve met a few of his family members (brothers, cousins etc) his parents are in Nigeria. This has been very different for me! Why do they “love” so easily? I think after the first month or even less!! he started telling me he loved me.. My gaurds has been all the way up since day one. I explained he has to a lot of work dealing w me. The thing is I’m starting to have real feelings for him… Feeling my gaurds crack a little….And as we spend more and more time together in growing annoyed by a few things. As a few ladies have stated, when he’s wrong we commit speak of it, leave it be! He likes me to cook constantly, I mean I have no problem! Growing in a Caribbean household this is natural… But at this point I’m in school and working! Then me personally I’m very outspoken at times! Strong minded, I say what I say and I mean what I say… He hates it! We got into our first big argument over sex! He tried to have unprotected sex w me saying he wants me to have his child!! Ever since I shut that down he has been veeeeery distant, yet when I confronted the situation and tried to just break up he didn’t want that. How can he want a child by me so soon, it’s still so much to know and get use to plus marriage! So far he has been coming off sneaky! He has 2 phones lol maaaaaaaan listen! I’m just wondering if I should run while I still can or what! It’s one of those things where you know what to do but then don’t

    Overall when I think of everything the good outweighs, this has been theeee most interesting, INTESE, emotional, affectionate man I’ve ever dated. Lol not that I’ve dated many but yeaaah so confused..

    1. Give that to the Lord, he’ll work it out..I actually don’t think he’s playing you..Sometimes it don’t take some people (The African Man) to realize what they want, & who they want to spend the rest their life with. My husband has a 10 year visa, we already planned to start building a home in Ghana, when that 10 yr mark is up, even before 10 yrs,we getting out of the US. Keep God 1st in everything you do madam.

    2. I have the same problem! I’m 22, white and don’t like to cook, but besides that it sounds identical. He has a major problem with using protection and he told me he loved me after a week (!). He asked me after o month of dating if I even have a boyfriend (which I found very strange, since I thought he knew I was single looking at the fact that we’ve been going out for a month). And our kisses always HAVE to lead to sex, it’s like after a minute of kissing we either have sex or he gets really really angry at me. Even if we’re in public he treats one delicate kiss as if we need to find a room right now. I don’t know if it’s normal for African guys to behave like that or is he using me?

    3. I totally understand! I started dating a younger African guy a few months ago. He’s very loving, affectionate. I can see the sincerity in his eyes. He also has two phones. I’m really not very involved in his life. He says we are exclusive and I’m his but he doesn’t text much anymore. It’s very confusing!

    4. A Nigerian living in Nigeria with a 10year U.S visa? My dear, Nigerians do not get more than 2yr visas to the U.S, if they apply with a Nigerian passport…so you might need to check that out.

  24. ” Overall when I think of everything, the good outweighs ”
    Really? Yet here are the things you say to us –

    the first thing I asked was “do you have your papers”
    I think after the first month or even less!! he started telling me he loved me
    My guard has been all the way up since day one.
    he has to a lot of work dealing with me
    when he’s wrong we cannot speak of it
    He likes me to cook constantly,… But at this point I’m in school and working!
    I say what I say and I mean what I say… He hates it!
    He tried to have unprotected sex w me saying he wants me to have his child!!
    I shut that down he has been veeeeery distant,
    How can he want a child by me so soon,
    he has been coming off sneaky!
    I should run while I still can or what! It’s one of those things where you know what to do but then don’t

    My advice?
    Get rid of him quick while you still can. You guessed correct from the start, he wants you only for your papers! He wants you pregnant to give him more chances on stay in the Sates with his American child and perhaps he never marry you.
    Go find another interesting, INTENSE, emotional, affectionate man, but a man without all the problems.

  25. my sister is dating a Nigerian man who is 13 years younger than she is, he is 36 and she is 50. she met him there and fell in love in the space of one month and she wants him to come to the states to be with her. he immediately wanted her to have his child. he apparently had sex with her while she was asleep without using a condom. he talked about it constantly until she told him that she could not have a child for him. eventually he said it was ok. why would a young african man spend his life with an older woman who cant give him a family? he also told her that age was not a problem. She also dated women exclusively before him for over 35 years until she fell for him, he also said that was not a problem. I thought african men were homophobic? he said when he came to the US to live with her she wouldn’t need a woman anymore. she discovered he had an ex who somehow got a hold of his phone and texted here to find out who she was, told her that she was his fiancé. He gave her a huge story and she forgave him, the ‘ex has since popped up several times like a bad penny but he always managed to fix his story and she believed him. he has no money, she says she will look after him when he comes until he finds a job. he was denied a visa and tried to get her to file for a 90 day visa to come to the US to marry her but she said no. he intends to come and not return if he gets any kind of visa. she’s perfectly fine with that. he says he has no wife, children, no parents, only a brother and his sister in law and their four children, that’s apparently all the family he has. no uncles, aunts, cousins, nothing. she believes him. she has is opinionated, impatient and she tends to yell if things don’t go her way. he’s fine with all of that. somehow I don’t think that African men find those traits attractive. but she says he’s calm, quiet, doesn’t yell and that’s just not his personality. All told she has only been in his space physically for a little over two weeks and only in vacation mode, all other contact and everything she knows about him is through phone, email and texts, but she says she knows him and he loves her and wants to be with her and she wants to be with him. I find this odd. I find it scary because I don’t think that she knows him well enough to have him come to this country to live with her alone in her house in the suburbs. I just don’t trust him. How can everything just be ok with him? am I wrong to be concerned here? maybe I just don’t understand this whole love thing…

    1. I am an African man – from Southern Africa.

      (Sidenote: Not all Africans are homophobic. Especially the younger generation that has grown up with a lot of western media influence. Some may not agree with same-sex partnerships & yet still have friends that are in those types of relationships)

      It sounds to me like your sister needs to be very careful. The man sounds like he is just looking to gain access to the US but I may be wrong. However, she should still hold off on making any major commitments to him before she really gets to know him through his existing family, friends and community in Nigeria. This will help her confirm his identity & backstory.

      If it turns out to truly be love then he was won’t mind waiting.

    2. I’m Nigerian. I live in Nigeria and I am not afraid to say it like it is – It is a scam! You’re right, no young African or at least Nigerian man will agree to not being able to father a child…even an elderly Nigerian man will marry a much younger woman just to be able to become a father! We see this all the time here. He is looking for a visa to the U.S. Plain and simple. Please let your aunt know and help her to be strong, so she can cut him off completely.

  26. I’m dating a African from zambia I really like him but I never dated a African before I was born in America I’m a lil older than him I heard. a lot of things about how strict an mean African men can be

    1. The African man have their moments…being American I to have my moments too..but its all about compromising etc..the African men like to be respected, I been married to my Ghanaian husband for a year, when we get to that fighting point, we’d rather not even go there with each other. Don’t want to say hurtful things towards each other that we can’t take back. There’s good African men, & there’s bad ones. This is my 1st relationship with an African, better yet we got married. Even if we argue I have to involve my in-laws ,and yes they jump down his throat. I’m American living as a Ghanaian, but I’m still American, he’s Ghanaian ,and lives somewhat as an American. Keep God 1st it will work out for you madam.

  27. @Missy..I’m married to a Ghanaian, a year now to be exact. Went to Ghana and we got married…I know everyone of my in-laws which are here in the States. His mother actually match made us, said that we would be perfect for each other. My husband friends, I met when I was in Ghana, 85% of those people are well Christian valued.I think your sister need to meet his brother & sister in-law at least..when dating an African man, there’s alot of questions that runs through your mind. Like is this a scam? Or do he have a wife and family already? Is he marrying me for a visa to come to America? Let me tell you, if she’s Christian and she believes in God, he will bless her, if this Nigerian guy is just using her, trust me the Lord will block that. Being married into an African family has been a blessing for me, I asked for a God fearing foreign husband over a decade ago lol..and was blessed last March. The African people..some are good, some are bad. My husband was more than over protected towards me when I visited him last year. Very strict, & their all about family. Just know, if your sister feel the need to ask her partner questions, she should.. For you, you don’t have to trust her Nigerian boyfriend, put your trust in God.Your sister should be able to meet his family,as well as his friends, its only right.

  28. I love this article but it is not all true I have dated a Nigerian man and a Ugandan Both were very sweet And kind.. But the Nigerian man was not at all good in bed..and the Ugandan never offered to pay for anything..but even with that I still think that I would rather haven’t African men over an American man.

  29. I read some of the comments above and I’m truly appalled by some of the ideas communicated above. I’m a 30yrs old African man born in West Africa and raised in Canada. I agree with the points of this article (AM, need to cook, patience etc..) Though we are all different..I could relate to all of them. My frustration is more directed toward white women dating African men and hoping they will get the complete package. If you 50 and over living in the US (or else) dating or in a relationship with an African 20 yrs younger..do you really think he’s with you for your green eyes?? You are his ticket to a better life, he’s willing to exchange his passion, youth, vitality and exotism for that. It’s truly a great sacrifice..not based on love but pragmatism on his part. And white women should stop complaining when it comes to dating them. Once the soul of a man is created, it can never be changed or altered. These men are Africans and that implies everything that comes with it derives from their background. Don’t expect them not to cheat/drinks/fool around if they aren’t in love with you… just like any another men from any other place. And For the sake of God, don’t think you are being taken for a ride..when it’s truly the opposite. Most black men (western & african) would rather be with a gorgeous, soulful and exquisite black women then being tied up to an older white women. When it comes to understanding a black man soul and spirit most white women always fails miserably. Speaking from my personal experience, I’ve dated plenty of white women in my college years (some young and some older.)..and I always felt I couldn’t be completely myself with them.. always kept some distance with them..Well, if I felt like that with my western background, imagine if I had an complete African background ?? I truly hope that one day, Africa would rise up and take its rightful place in the world scene and reclaim its glorious heritage and ends hypocrisy, exploitation, economical relationship/weedings etc..

    1. So basically you are saying that no African man can or will be truly happy faithful honest and loyal to a white woman no matter what and it’s all because of their culture??

      1. Hmm..You didn’t read me well since you are oversimplifying and taking what I said out of context.
        African men are honest, loyal and faithful to the woman they love ..whether they white, black or yellow. But for that love to materialize between a white woman who has no understanding of about African men’s psychology, background or culture and get her knowledge simply from forum/internet/stereotypes or what have you..well I don’t see how that can truly happen. Hence what I said earlier. This goes beyond just culture, food or music. African men have a different way of life, psychology deeply rooted in traditions, heavy culture heritage (although the younger generations are more modernized , we still hold dear to what makes us African) and so…It will take tremendous effort for a white women to understand that and I have yet to meet a white women who understand what is means to be an African man..I am not saying don’t date them. I’m saying date them but don’t expect them to be or behave the way you want them to behave and complain afterwards when they don’t!

        PS: If you live in the West and get involved with an African Man overseas..well I think you should seriously do a bit more introspection on yourself..Are you desperate? Why aren’t you attracting an decent man from your country? Look for pattern in your previous relationships..after that if you decide to go that route, well at least be honest with yourself and roll with your decision.

        1. My fiance is from Benin and I have embraced his culture and his family and him being the “alpha male” he needs to be but I don’t care where u r from it is not acceptable for a man to claim to love a woman with all his heart and say he wants to make her his wife and then be sexting oter females, going out with other females, and telling other females how sexy they are and asking for pictures of them without clothes, and such things as that. Also African or otherwise there is no reason for a man to watch porn and jack off while his woman lay right next to him naked. If ur woman isn’t sexually satisfying u then u need to tell her so she can fix it and when asked if that’s why he does it he says no it’s just a thing. Then tells me that ALL the things I mentioned above only bother me bcuz its not my culture but I have spoken to his mother, sister, my best friend who is an African woman and have been told by all of them that no culture would accept that behaviour .

  30. Thats great Kevin and soooo very true too. I am african american my boyfriend that I love very much is from west africa he lives here in the United states too. He has been here a few years or so. It’s very different dating an African and we have to take the time to understand their culture and everything. I used to think that they were controlling and mean because people TOLD me. Now that I’ve been dating one for a while now I see thats its not really true. Any man can be controlling even in USA not just african man. My boyfriend is VERY sweet not mean whatsoever or controlling. I absolutely LOVE LOVE that he is african. Hard worker loves thier family extremely much and have big families I love that because i come from a small family. I say don’t go online to see if you should date african or not just date who you want because it’s who you want and love. Online isn’t going to give you the answer everyone is different. What if we went online to research if we should date our American men it would definitely be a TON of negative things too im pretty sure. If your going online just so you can look for africans 2 date in another country why can’t you find anyone in your country like kevin said? Plus their is A LOT of africans in the USA too.

  31. I’m telling any and all non African woman DO NOT!! I repeat DO NOT ever ever get involved with African men!!!! Well, unless you want good sex lol!!! But seriously mark my words you will regret it. I speak from much wasted time and experience.

  32. I agree with Cindy. Do NOT get involved. They lie, cheat and make babies everywhere. In my experience their mothers lie and make excuses for them. She hates every woman any of her sons is with. Example: Family from Kinshasha,Congo-including 5 grown sons. 1st son has a wife and 3 kids from africa and an american girlfriend and 2 kids all living in the US. 2nd has a wife and son in africa, a wife and two sons in the US, 3rd has two kids with two women in the US that he does not take care of and is currently engaged to a woman in africa, 4th No wife (hes the youngest) one kid he does not see, new female every weekend, 5th with an american woman 11 years with 2 kids, still in contact with his ex in africa the whole time. Now she has his baby! The whole family denies all the women and kids in africa but social media has made it possible to prove. They moved here on refugee visas but visit their home country they supposidy fear. They pay to be snuck into Kinshasha after flying into Brazzaville. The saddest part is when they move here they leave a woman behind claiming they will send for them. They come here and get into relationships and take years to bring the woman waiting in africa. The amercian woman has no idea for months or even years but the african knows and thinks it is normal.

  33. I don’t know why anyone should generalize. People are people, good or bad. I’m an educated African man, I believe in true love no matter the color, I prefer a lady, that’s why a lot of us go with the mature white women, or African women, they most of the time are gentle subtle, sweet, treats a man like a man, kind, compassionate and affectionate… Not loud, feisty, and full of negative attitude. Btw, There are a lot of black women too who are sweet and not loud, but yall know what I’m talking about. Anyway, many women fail to recognize thieir strength, a lady’s strength is mostly on how gentle and sweet you are. Leave the aggressiveness to the man, it’s not pretty.. Ghetto is not pretty. It’s uglifying. Leave it alone. Anyway, as an African, Lagos Nigeria to be precise, we love to be respected by anyone, not just by the spouses. So it’s understandable to equally earn that respect at all levels. Education, morally, financially, socially, the way we carry ourselves…etc. We are also quick to love, it doesn’t take a Nigerian man a whole lot to know what he wants. My mom and dad didn’t court for more than 2 weeks and they were married and lovingly together for forty years till my dad passed. It’s the same today. As a Muslim I don’t believe in drinking so that’s a turn off for most of us. A huge CULTURAL turn off. If I love you, I want to love you forever, (and we love hard) so I would want everything to do with you, especially you having my baby. Buying you a house or anything you want etc. But we also find ourselves erring… Goofing or fooling around sometimes, and it’s called messing up. Because we ‘re humans too. This is where individuality comes in; how you are able to resist temptation. That random sexy thing walking down the street, or living next door and how you can resist the temptation to look, make the move or even accept the mouth watering offer. Now, for someone like me, I’m good as long as my woman is giving it to me good at home. But if I’m not happy at home, I don’t need a sexy thing to walk bye to make me err, I’ll be the one out on the street looking for it.
    In a nut shell, I think a woman has more chances of having straight successful children being with an African man, coz he’ll be there to raise his kids. We don’t play when it comes to our children.
    A colleague at work talks about his girl and child so I asked him how much he pays for house, he tells me “my girl pays the rent” so I said but how much, he said”i don’t know”. I was so shocked and disappointed coz he’s someone I’m very close to. Not surprising hes an African American brother. Born and raised in Texas. I just moved to Texas two years ago and I’ve been living in my own house for over a year now. Raising my grown up kids, sending money back home to family etc. And we’re working at the same job with him earning just a little more than me. I’m not saying I’m better but we’re definitely very different.

  34. I agree with some, that you have to understand the culture altogether. I am, as a black american and happened to fall head in heals with a Liberian. Unfortunately, I had ignore so many signs to let it go and go about my business. I’ve listened to his horror stories of the war and his misfortunes of making irrational decisions; me loving to help others, I ending up getting hurt and very much disrespected as a human being. Being a child of the most high, I will forgive, and will never forget this life lesson. I m so happy if one is able to find happiness with someone of another culture. My childhood friend was married to someone from west africa for 17 years and warned me. I hope this blog is of help to anyone. You only live once and I chose to be happy the rest of my days.

  35. Wow, Thanks for this article and all the comments and experiences you have shared here.
    It is a big help for me to decide if I will pursue dating again an African man I just met from a dating site.
    I had been in relationship with a Nigerian man before who is much much younger than I am. We started as friend but ended up having a relationship. I loved him so much though I know that I am not his priority and though he only told me that he loves me once. He is a kind of person who will not let you know everything about him, he has many close friends and one of them he got impregnated and had baby with. He is angry when I ask about this girl only to find out that he had a baby with her. I am doubting if he is really not having sex with his other close friends though he always says he is not. One of his close friend had been bothering him because I think she also discovered that he had a baby with the other girl. I was devastated and hurt before and wanted to do that before but decided not to because I know he will not be change.

    With all the comment and this article now I am thinking if I will try again dating an African man though I do not know him yet and never met him in person. We just talked in whatapps and he actually says I love you immediately and everytime we chatted. He wanted me to come to his place but I prefer him to come over here with me.

    Still knowing him though he wanted to really see me in person. He never video chat and never sent any pic on real time. I even saw his fb account and found out that he is a kind of womanizer and loves clubbing though he said that he is really like that before. And he said that Nigerian woman is the one who will asks out a guy if they want them and they love sex very much. In my custom it the man who will asks out a girl and will not initiate any move to have sex with a guy. This is one big difference we have in culture.

  36. Whether you like to hear it or not Majority of Nigerians but also other Africans who come to Europe are not good People. They are DrugDealers or Scammers who only look for Papers. And they treat Woman horribly. They treat you like you are worth less then them, do NOT help in the House at all and would never lower themselves to Cook a Meal. They think they are Kings of the Earth just bc they got a Penis and the other Half of Humanity does not.
    In Reality Men are supposed to help Ladies bc Ladies are physically weaker, but with them is exactly the Oppossite. Spear urself the Grief and never get involved with them.
    Oh and 90% of them have Wife and Kids at home, and several Woman to support them financially.

  37. Hi all
    I’ve been dating my boyfriend for now 4 months .
    We met in a pub where I live and he was hear for access with his child from a mix race marriage , that didn’t work out .
    I see him every for night , but he also comes to see me when he doesn’t see his son .

    He’s been totally consistent ,
    Messages every morning throughout the day and then a pho call on an evening .

    We are both serious and madly in love , but I guess I’m also worried that it’s to good to be true.

    We go out for meals spend a lot of time together and we are very comfortable to be with each other.

    He’s told me his plans that he wants to live closer for his son and for me but also mentioned engagement .
    After 4 months is this a little quick or am I being paranoid

    Any comments welcome xx

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