#TheServiceCritic: Review of ORCHID BISTRO, Ikeja, Lagos

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Wednesday, 4.08p.m,

Hey beautiful people.

We are still on the quest for a perfect meal, recently I asked myself and a few others if it was possible to have a perfect meal, perfect in terms of quality, value, aesthetics & taste. I could not answer and neither could they. For me, the Orchid Bistro is one of the best kept secrets in Lagos, it  is neatly tucked away in one the shopping complexes in GRA, Ikeja. I had been to this place several times but for some reason, I just never noticed it, no signboards( to the best of my knowledge). I  still do not remember how i discovered it but I found myself there one day. I was in awe. It was such a charming dainty place.The only place I had seen such was in Paris. For me 8 out of 10 times, when I go out to eat  by the time I see the place and spend a couple of minutes with staff, I kinda know what my food or the service will be like. I’m correct 90% of the time….errr the remaining 10%…seals lips.

So, we were shown our table and the  waiter handed out the menu, I knew I was in for a nice time, the menu was quite easy on the eye.  ( a bit worn though) It did not have the all the impractical meals that you find on most  menus. (Do Nigerians ever order those dodgy named meals)? They even have a meal called Ireti’s stew, that got me laughing out loud.  It stayed true to its name, a bistro,- easy meals, no fuss serving, dainty setting.  My friend  Dr D settled for Spicy Prawn Pasta and I did not know what to do order for a while, eventually I settled for Lamb chops with mashed potatoes.  For once I ordered food in a Lagos restaurant and the waiter actually asked how spicy I wanted the meal and how done wanted the lamb to be…very well done if you please. No traces of pink , after all I’m a typical Nigerian that can’t eat anything that is not overcooked. OK! we moved on.

I ordered a Pina Colada while we waited for our meal, it came soon enough and i was sooo disappointed. It tasted like stale milk with alcohol in it. How can such a great looking place not serve a great Pina Colada? I felt like someone had slapped my face, this was not the Pina Colada I knew. the milky content (whatever it was ) tasted  grainy, I did not fancy it all. I did not complain to the waiter at all which on hindsight I regret, I should have mentioned it……. just to hear what he would have said. Well too late for that now yeah?  I was quite surprised that we did not have to pay for water.

orchid 3A

After about 20 minutes, a waiter came to the table, he politely introduced himself  and apologized that they did not have lamb chops in stock so they could not offer it. I was ticked off that it took the whole of 20 minutes to notify us, he however recommended a few meals but I just was not happy that I did not get what I wanted initially, I settled for Jerk chicken with rice, I had my doubts about it  but I was expressly assured that it was worth it.

The waiting ended and the food came.( not like it was long, but if you add the previous 20 minutes we had waited). The Spicy Prawn Pasta looked divine! This was stir fry pasta with bell peppers served with nicely marinated prawns.  As an ardent diner, I’m not sure I have been to many places in Lagos that paid such attention to their crockery. The silver cutlery looked well polished and  napkins were well starched. The pasta without tasting it, looked yummy. Dr D loved it.


 And next came the Chicken in Jerk sauce, it looked like the real thing but I did not want to be disappointed so i wanted to taste it  before assessing. It was well presented  with some side salad and rice. I took  a bite and I was dancing “eti-lingo”(a combination of etighi and alingo). Oh the joys of being a gulu.  It was deliciously seasoned and fried chicken tossed in jerk sauce. A bit spicy for me  but it was well put together, the portions were just OK.

orchid 1A

I had just enough space for dessert. They had a separate menu for desserts ,in Lagos? May wonders never end, and they had practical desserts for a local champion like me! ahnn….I busted into Rihanna’s  chorus…where have you beeeeennn …..all my lifeee? You catch the drift?  you are probably dissing me right now but I love my desserts that much, so who cares? What to order became my problem.. I decided on Coconut macaroons…yes I was in luck, it was freshly baked  and it was chewy, moist and not too sweet, just the way I liked it.

I quite liked the fact that the manager came round to ask how we enjoyed our meal.

There’s also a little extension outside with lovely exotic plants , it would be great for lovers of alfresco dinning.

Did I have any complaints about the pricing?  Not really, it was alright… For 2 meals, 1 cocktail,  and dessert, We paid about N10,000(About $60).

Would I go back there? An emphatic  YES!!….definitely.

P.S:  This review was written s few months ago, prices could have changed.



Layout/ Ambience/ Aesthetics – 9

Quality of  Food-7.5 (thinking about the cocktail again)

Customer Service-8

Value for Money-7


Have you dined at the Orchid Bistro?


Thank you for always reading.


The Orchid Bistro

58 A, Isaac John Street

GRA, Ikeja



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The Critic

The Critic

I love all things beautiful and luxurious. Pastry chef during the day, food writer at "other times". Dinning out? Ask me! Visit me at www.theservicecriticng.com for more.


  1. My family and I came based on a friend’s recommendation and I must say i felt so horrible spending that amount of money on a laousy meal.
    That was by far the worst mash potatoes I’ve ever had in my life. The pork ribs were drowned in BBQ sause which gave a nauseating feeling afterwards.
    The service was so tardy and we were treated like an after thought.
    Our table cloth was soiled and there was a power cut that seemed to last a hundred years
    Sad to say, but I will NEVER go there again


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