I don’t know how exactly it is done in America but from the few I’ve seen on television and in movies, people that get asked to be bridesmaids are usually close to the bride. That is, people aren’t just randomly asked to take up the role of a bridesmaid.
However, in Nigeria, some people actually get asked to be bridesmaids when they aren’t even close to the bride. For instance, I’ve seen a train where the bride barely spoke to half of her bridesmaids before her wedding preparations.
It happens, so we won’t act like it does. But as much as we are happy for the bride and won’t mind being one of her bridesmaids on her wedding day, we actually mind if these things happen;
-The overbearing friends/sisters/cousins: when those(who sometimes don’t make it to the train) become so chirpy as the pass comments about anything and everything, it tends to get tiring. When the try to “run” the whole show by telling you and every other person what to do, it honestly can be annoying. Nobody wants to listen to an “I too know” person while she goes on and on about everything.
-The amount: welcome to the age where becoming a bridesmaid is actually as expensive as purchasing an original Chanel purse. These days the amount of money you part with to become a part of the train is a whole lot(depending on the bride’s taste) that if you’re not careful, your salary would grow thin when the wedding is over. Unfortunately, you can’t cry out to the bride.
-The dress: ever attended a wedding as the bridesmaid in a dress you swore every minute of the day that you’d never wear again? At some point, I used to assume you get ugly clothes with funny fabrics when you pay little money. But I’ve come to realise that even with a large sum, you can still end up with an ugly dress. Yup. Blame it on the designer or tailor as the case may be.
Sometimes the dress might even be pretty but it becomes a decoration in your wardrobe after the day. I mean, when you have an event, your bridesmaid dress won’t be the first idea of what to wear. And it is actually depressing to pay a large sum of money for a dress that’ll forever sit in your wardrobe.
-Readjusting the dress: permit me to list this separately.
Meanwhile, let me give you one small gist. So I was a bridesmaid on this older friend’s train last year and as a dutiful bridesmaid, I paid my money, went early for measurements and made sure I did all I had to do because I just hate, just HATE wearing ugly dresses.
Then when it was a day to the wedding, I realised my dress was unflattering, ugly and oversized. I was asked to wait while they adjusted it and I waited and it still wasn’t fine. And then they readjusted and readjusted and at a point I just grabbed my dress, walked home while telling myself it is okay to wear ugly dresses sometimes.
This is annoying when it happens. Because you keep wondering why the tailor/designer didn’t get it right but you dare not vent. You’re the bridesmaid not the bride remember? The bride is the only one allowed to do all the venting.
-The hair: I have seen hairstyles on bridesmaids that have made me almost roll on the floor while I laugh my skinny ass out. These hairstyles are so ridiculous that you wonder whose idea it was to wear them. But a while back after speaking to a friend who has been a carrier of horrible bridesmaid hair, I realised that it is usually the bride’s choice and hard to turn down. So as much as you might not like it, you wear it regardless. Doesn’t that just suck?
-Long sermon: maybe this is just me and a few others but sitting in the church while the service lasts an hour isn’t exactly exciting. Pastor Adeboye mentioned a while back that pastors shouldn’t spend so much time preaching on the wedding day because the couples minds isn’t exactly on that.
Now, If one were just a guest, walking out for a while might be possible, but when you are a bridesmaid, you just don’t want to do that.