Arguments are good in relationships, they are healthy and they help the parties involved to get to a destination where they know what to do and what not to do the next time an issue occurs.
When you argue with your spouse, your aim is to settle at some point and set some things straight. If at the end of the day you can’t do any of the things listed above and worse, the argument leads into an embarrassment, then you would feel worse than when it all started.
Women are allowed to argue with their spouses. I mean it is a relationship where two people are involved and where each party’s feelings should be put into consideration. But one thing a woman should never do, is argue with her man publicly.
Oh yes I know we are in 2013 and it is the age of great technology, women empowerment, strong feminism, plastic surgery and ridiculous reality TV but have you asked yourself how stupid you would feel and look if this gets out of hands?
Let me share a personal story. My ex and I went over to pick his younger brother from Uni, a while back, and when we got there, we realised his brother’s friend wanted to come along too. Well, we picked my boo’s brother, his friend and all four of us journeyed back home. During our trip back home, my ex did something I didn’t quite like and at that point I thought, why wait till this gets cold when I can nip it in the bud right now? I mean so he doesn’t try it some other time? So I told him right there and then and in my firm, no nonsense manner told him never to try that again. The more he tried to speak, the more agitated I became and after a while it just got out of hands. Remember we had company in the car? Yes, they were witnesses as well. How did it make him feel? Embarrassed and stupid. He kept quiet after a while and when we got to his, he told me how he felt I had disrespected him and Us by deciding to air our laundry right there in the presence of his younger brother and friend. Then, I thought about it and I realised I was awfully stupid. Yes, it felt urgent at the time but it could have waited until we got home, alone and discussed the issue. It was the mature thing to do!
Now imagine if my ex hadn’t kept quiet and decided to be as dramatic as I was? What would have happened?
Imagine if for every time you felt you have been wronged in public you decide to let it all out right there and you create a scene while at it? How would you feel?
Whatever your answer to the above question is, now imagine this, you and your man at the mall and then he thinks you have done something wrong and decides to handle it there. Imagine if he immediately begins to argue with you while people walk by and stare at you. How would you feel? Not good right? I thought so too (Except you are the queen of being ratchet anyway).
You wouldn’t like when he does it to you. Do not do it to him. Respect they say is reciprocal.