Friends are good, really good friends are really good and their advice usually means well.
When you need help deciding on what dress to buy or what decision to make regarding a few things in your life, sometimes you just need a close friend’s candid advice. An advice that will help you make that decision rightly.
Sometimes you’ve even already made the decision, you just need a second opinion and so you ask.
However, these opinions/advice they give might do more harm than good. Here’s how to spot the advice that might make you feel worse and how to say No.
When a friend advises you to dump your man because he is broke and doesn’t spend money on you, here’s how to know if the advice would backfire if taken;
Is she in a relationship herself? Is she more of the i-am-made-for-a-rich-man-and-so-i-wont-be-wise-to-be-self-made-myself type?
Is she one who has had three or more relationships with several rich men in the past one year? Does her relationship life suck so much you know she needs some sort of intervention herself?
These questions and more are what you should ask yourself before taking her advice. Remember, her advice doesn’t make her a bad person. She’s still your good friend, so politely discard the advice and not her and use your own head.
This man you are being asked to dump, is he diverting all his hard earned money into a personal project? Is he saving towards a good cause? Does he have some responsibility he is dedicated to at the moment? If yes, you would be a fool to dump him for not spending the money on you and your frivolities.
Besides, who says you can’t be Miss Independent and even help your man financially if need be?
When a friend advises you to leave your present job and find a new one, you should consider the dangers in quitting a job when you have no idea where your next cheque might be coming in from.
She might be concerned, telling you to leave your present job because of how harsh it has been on you recently but the truth is the economy is harsher and so is joblessness.
Work very hard towards securing a good job and only then should you take the leap. Remember, no wise person tests the depth of a river with both legs. Only leave when you are certain of your next income.
“One more drink won’t hurt…” This advice usually happens on night outs when everyone is letting their hair down and getting rid of the stress they might have gone through during the day/week.
However, as much as it is often true that one more drink won’t hurt, one more drink sometimes does hurt.
The deal here is, only you know your limit and how you would feel hours after exceeding that limit. Ask yourself which is the sane thing to do, disregarding the suggestion or having to take care of a nasty hangover the morning after.
The choice is yours.
When your friends nudge you to flirt, saying its just flirting and your man won’t find out, is another advice that might get you into trouble.
One thing you should immediately ask yourself is “if this were my boo being asked to do this, would I feel okay if I learnt about it?”. Then also put it in mind that flirting sometimes lead to a whole string of events that might end up nasty. You might keep enjoying the company, the person you’re flirting with might want more, your partner might eventually find out, it’l hurt and things would get bad.
Just save yourself the drama and don’t acknowledge every hot man who stares at you/whom your friends nudge you to flirt with.
Most importantly, feel free always to discuss with your friends whatever you feel comfortable enough with. Just always know when to draw the line where advice is concerned and make sure important decisions about your life are taken by no other person than you.
If its not you, then God. Never hand over the decision making of your life to others.