When Harry Met Sally was one of the movies I had to watch while I was running my three month screenwriting course at the Royal Arts Academy, Lagos. It is a very good teaching material for film schools and my teacher recommended it amongst other good movies at the time.
Why this movie stood out for me and why I still would watch it a million times over, is that it tackles one of the most controversial questions of all times; Can a man and woman be best friends without sex getting in the way?
When Harry Met Sally was made in the late eighties and the question it strongly discusses is still a much talked about topic till date.
Most women all over the world have problems with their men having another woman(especially a single one) as a close/best friend. For them, feelings always develop at some point and it just might end up hurting everyone at the end of the day.
I have had something similar happen to me in the recent past, where I was in a relationship and my partner had a female best friend and need I say it did negatively affect us?
However, I have read/listened to different experiences and made my research and this is what I have come to find out
1.Communication is very much needed- if you notice that there is a new woman in your man’s life and he seems to enjoy her company and talks about her all the time, or if she has been there all along and you suddenly just aren’t comfortable with their relationship anymore, do not get so jealous and cause trouble because of it. Gently discuss the situation with him and reveal to him your concerns about his best friend and how much you want him to have friends but that you aren’t comfortable with this friendship of his.
2. Do not nag– or pick fights or argue about it. It is not worth wasting emotions over. Besides, you do not want your man running over to his bestie to discuss how “petty” you have recently become. So smile sweetly, pet him, do whatever he enjoys doing with him and slip it into your conversation as gently as you can, your reservations about him and his friend. Men prefer when they are not yelled at like errant kids and they listen more that way.
3. Make the woman your friend– If this woman has ulterior motives, the only way you can know for sure, is if you are close to her like she is to your husband. Become her friend, hangout with her, do things together and ask her questions about her relationship with your man without giving anything away. Watch her reaction while she responds and try to get your answers from the things she says and how she says them. A woman who wants an affair with your husband/fiance/boyfriend won’t be very comfortable around you when she realizes you are trying to be friends with her rather than making her an enemy. Besides, women are known to have instincts whenever another woman is trying to prey on their man.
4. Find out about her- take your time to find out about her and see if she is in a relationship, married or single. If she is in a relationship, invite her and her partner over for a dinner involving you and your man. If she is single, make sure you let your husband realize calmly that they are not allowed to hangout or do things alone without you. A man in a committed relationship shouldn’t be having “buddy” moments alone with a woman who he is not in a relationship with.
Most importantly, because we are all humans and we cannot control the things we feel sometimes, when people of opposite sex become friends and do intimate things often, they are likely to become emotionally attached to each other. To avoid this, when in a committed relationship, a very fine line should be drawn between any friendships regarding the opposite sex.