Faking an orgasm can be a woman’s way of covering up her own insecurities in the bedroom, Temple University researchers say. Some women said that faking it was their way of feeling less pressured by their performance. So how can you make her feel more confident? Start by telling her how sexy you think she is, suggests Jennifer Landa, M.D., Chief Medical Officer of BodyLogicMD and author of The Sex Drive Solution for Women. ‘By making her feel more comfortable with herself and expressing your fantasies, she’ll feel more comfortable with expressing herself sexually,’ Landa says.
She Wants Foreplay
In a recent study, Indiana researchers found that nearly half of the women surveyed claimed to have faked it during their last sexual encounter. Blame their fibs on a lack of fondling: Foreplay is important because it has the ability to improve sexual functioning and satisfaction, explains Erin B. Cooper, M.A., a doctoral student in clinical psychology at Temple. So before you get down to business, make some time to ignite her fire. Try this: ‘Stimulate the breasts, not just the nipples,’ explains Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good. ‘Zeroing in can be uncomfortable for a lot of women.’ Use the whole hand to touch or massage the entire breast, focusing on the outsides and seeing how the woman responds, she says. ‘If she enjoys breast touching, then you can often proceed to touching or licking the nipples.’
The Mood’s Not Right
In a recent study in the Journal of Sexual Research, 67 percent of college women who admitted to faking it said either orgasm was unlikely and they wanted sex to end, or the mood wasn’t right and they wanted to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings. So what’s killing her buzz? ‘Distraction has been shown to affect female sexual arousal,’ says Cooper. If women have other pressing issues on their mind, they may be less sexually responsive. So how exactly can you put her at ease? Listen to her frustrations and offer her moral support. Women who feel comforted by their partners are more likely to express themselves sexually, explains Cooper.