Emotional/Physical abuse in relationships; something that’s never okay.
Domestic violence is a reason many women lose their lives in this part of the world. A lot of women put up with this horrifying situation simply because the society expects the woman to stay in her matrimonial home till death do her part and take whatever is being hurled at her(even if it is harmful) by her husband.
Women then stay back while these evil men constantly beat them sometimes to unconsciousness while the world watches, doing nothing, expecting them to bear it all.
Very recently, this situation has gotten out of hands, with popular celebrities being accused of battering their spouses.
The question is why do these women stay?
The average African woman would say because of her kids.
Now the next question is, have they ever considered that if they die in the hands of their abusive partners their kids would live? That the world would not stop breathing and nothing would happen because they died?
Whatever reason a man abuses his wife can never be justified. However a man who stops at nothing to physically beat a woman he is supposed to protect is not only a coward but someone who needs to be allowed to stay in jail.
HOW IT USUALLY BEGINS: While I’m not saying that there is a particular reason men batter their spouses, it mostly springs up from insecurities. A man who does not feel secure emotionally, begins to abuse his wife emotionally and then gradually graduates to hitting her. And once a man beats you once, it just never ends.
A slap leads to a punch and then serious battering follows.
THE MOST COMMON EXCUSE: Most men claim their wives/girlfriends/fiancées are the reason they become violent in relationships. This lie has become so constant that the women in this situation have been made to believe they are not good enough and they constantly get “punished” because they stay provoking their men.
This excuse isn’t only unbelievable but downright ridiculous. There is no excuse as to why a grown up woman should get smacked by a man who should be her protector. None whatsoever. If he blames it on you, it only goes to show how weak he is and how fast you need to get help.
WHAT TO DO: If this is a relationship where both parties are not married, then as much as this might sound hard, walk away fast. Women lose their lives because of this and I’m sure you value your life more than you value that abusive relationship.
For people who have friends in this situation, help them by praying for them and constantly let them know that their lives aren’t safe as long as they continue to be with that person who beats them at will.
If it is marriage and kids are already involved, then see a counsellor. Discuss these things with the counsellor and go through whatever physical therapy you both need to go through. If he cooperates with you and shows genuine readiness to change, then great. However, if all he does is apologise, buys gifts and then does it again, repeating the cycle of apologizing and buying gifts, then maybe you need a break from that marriage. See your spiritual leader and ask for guidance.