All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer – Christina Perri ‘A Thousand Years’
I was a romantic. I wrote poems with love themes. I wanted a husband and seven children…..Reality set in. I became a skeptic. I wrote short stories with morbid themes. I wanted one child, a token for my mother….no husband. I’d seen too many sorry saps fall in love and have it end badly.
They were married for 25 years; one day he decided she had failed to give him a male spawn, he walked out. For seven years she was good enough to share his bed but not his last name. He loved her terribly but he wasn’t rich enough, she broke his heart…his one true love. There are a thousand examples of love gone sour and a million reasons to avoid cupid’s arrow.
I was 16 when I had my heart broken, 18 when love healed me. 21 when I saw love go sour.
He was diagnosed with Leukemia (cancer of the blood) and had a few weeks to live. She married him. She said her greatest wish was to be his wife, if only for a few weeks. Adoption was his idea, he loved her and it didn’t matter that she was barren.
For every ten reasons why falling in love sucks; there is that one couple that proves the opposite.
These past few weeks I’ve witnessed firsthand an unbelievable love story. I’ve watched a fiercely independent woman look to her husband for guidance. I’ve watched a strong man seek his wife’s hand in a crowded room.
By loving one another, they have taught me one valuable lesson, LOVE exists.
Today, I’m a romantic again and I wrote a poem with a love theme. I want to be a wife to a good man. I want to be the mother to his two kids (blame the economy).
Life is no fairy tale and yes I’ll probably suffer a few more heartbreaks on my quest to find LOVE, but life is short and how else are we to pass the time? It hurts to love and lose, but it will hurt even more if you never get a chance to love or be loved.
No one is perfect and I don’t expect to find a man who will always hold the door open for me. Neither will I always remember to be kind with my words when I speak to him. However I will apologize sincerely when I’m brash and unkind and he will show me in other ways (asides doors) how greatly he cares.
LOVE is a game of chance and the odds are stacked firmly against you. But if you win, the prize is worth every tear you have cried and will heal all the hurt you have felt.
A lot of us never find love because we were never searching for it. What we wanted was a title “Mrs”. A status symbol “Married”. True love is found in the way he looks at you and the way she speaks to you. It is that instinct to reach for the one you love first in a drowning ship. It is that itch you feel when you have not spoken to him in five minutes.
So keep that door open and if that is too much to ask, a window will do. LOVE needs only the smallest crack to slip in.
This was written in honor of my Godparents; E* and P* because what you share is an inspiration in so many ways. God bless your union.
*not real initials*