When the new boo walks into your life, things change. These things include the things you used to spend your time on, your hobbies and whether you admit it or not, your friends. No it doesn’t mean you would dump them, but it means you would drastically reduce the time you spend in hanging out with them. Some friends don’t mind, but some do. Some believe, that you shouldn’t make your friendship with them take a backseat to your relationship no matter what because whether you like to admit it or not, they were there before it and would be after it, unfortunately if it ends.
A lot of people expect their friends and pals to understand this new “situation” but let’s discuss, should they understand? Should you even be tossing your friendship away or not?
We don’t need studies to show us that most times, friends are the ones who are there for you when that boy or girl dumps your ass. It has happened so many times and to almost everyone that we all know that our friends are the ones who have our backs when the lover leaves. Now the question is should we lose the friendship when a new relationship begins?
Why we think about that question, let’s also take a look at the other side. Most people like to keep their relationship private, away from even their closest friends because that’s how they are wired. They like to have their private moments with their lover and spend time with them and just them, without any intrusion from their buddies. They love it when their friends respect this and stay away. Which makes a lot of sense because that friend won’t date them when the lover disappears due to neglect to be with friends or being uncomfortable due to friends popping in everytime.
The answer to this should probably be for us to balance it?
You and your friends have had this saturday planned and you all are looking forward to that time without your partners but suddenly your own partner needs you. Do you dump your woman/man and hang with your friends regardless? Or bail on your friends the last minute and run off to your lover?
Weigh the two situations. Who needs you more? Your lover? Then go to him/her. No matter what it is, take care of that one first. Then if you can attend to the other one later in the day and if you can’t, explain to your friends how much you’d have loved to make it happen with your presence but why you couldn’t.
In the process, make your friends feel very important. Don’t make them think the new man/woman has taken their space, let them know they all have individual spots in your life and nobody would ever take the other person’s place. Always remember, that you wouldn’t like to be dumped by a friend if he/she was the one who found someone.
If you also can, arrange dates with you and your spouse and invite both friends over. That is, friends of you and your spouse can come spend time over at yours or someplace neutral. That’l be a lot of fun and who knows, you might be setting off a romance waiting to begin. Some of them just might hook up! And they’d constantly remember you guys for giving them the opportunity to fall in love.
If your lover is always reluctant to let you hangout with your friends because he/she isn’t exactly sure what you might get up to during that Girls’ night out at the bar or guys’ night out at the club? Then let him/her know that you love them and you would send them a message once in a while to let them know you love and miss them. Do it and see how comfortable they’d soon begin to feel about you being with your friends.
Friendship and being with the person you are in love with are two beautiful things you should never let anyone mess up for you. Work hard to never make both clash.