You trust him/her, yes you do so very much but sometimes you just can’t fight the urge to look through his/her recent messages, recent contacts, recent emails, recent bbm chats and maybe just maybe even DMs. It doesn’t mean you are snoopy or don’t trust your partner yeah, but you just feel a little uncomfortable about where he/she told you he/she was on Friday night.
The question here is however, does it make you feel better? Or let me rephrase, does it make you feel foolish when you find absolutely nothing or worse get caught?
Ninety percent of men/women in a relationship would go the extra mile to know what their partners got up to during their “alone” time but is it all worth the risk? Here are a few things that can happen when you go out of your way to “police” your partner
- You could get caught
- If you get caught this leads to embarrassment and lack of trust, this time your partner would be the one not trusting you.
- You could lose that relationship because not everyone reacts to not being trusted in a nice way
- You might actually not get caught but you might end up feeling foolish all by yourself when all you find are probably annoying messages from Glo, MTn or Etisalat,messages from his/her friends and other harmless messages. Then you ask yourself, why did I do this?
Maybe you shouldn’t check at all? We do not need research to tell us that a partner who snoops around his/her spouse’s phone/things doesn’t trust that spouse, but what caused this in the first place?
Something he/she said or did? How about communication? Have you tried to talk these suspicions you have over? have you tried to trash it out? Pick a day and a time and find a quiet place while you gently discuss your doubts. If you sense your partner might be lying, the only way to find out the truth is if you actually ask. If you are still not convinced, then give it time, he/she can’t fool you forever, so don’t go about snooping around the house like a guard dog.
Again, it might not be something your partner might have said, it might just be a hunch you are getting and you believe your guts never lie but again how about you discuss this and stop letting paranoia rule your relationship? Remember if your spouse judged you by some hunch or random thought, you guys might just not be together.